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The End Of A Relationship: A Good Place To See Each Other Newly

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When: February 13, 2018
Afternoon Open Mic
Where: ,

Q: I have a question about my relationship with my girlfriend. For years I’ve felt it is over, yet I’m struggling to bring it to an end.  On one level I feel I could stay in it forever; on other levels I don’t feel it nourishes me. But it breaks my heart because she’s a friend and I care for her. To end the relationship would confront a level of pain in both of us that feels impossible to digest.

John: Instead of ending your relationship, end your relationship with pain and you'll see her differently. Being at the end of a relationship is a really good place to start seeing, instead of opening into a newness of seeing in your next relationship. 

What starved your relationship of its meaning, slowly bringing the relationship to a close, is the same source as the source of your pain: you living in your self, moving in some way by forms of illusion. 

Q: How can I end this illusion, John?

John: Love seeing through your humanness. Love seeing from your heart instead of seeing from what you think and what you feel, which will easily be through forms of illusion. 

As you trust what you think and trust what you feel, what you’re most easily living by are your beliefs instead of the openness and softness of heart, the opening of your humanness. 

To address your relationship, you can tell her that you’re starting to see, and in beginning to see, you really see how blind you are. Being open to see your blindness disempowers your beliefs. 

When you’re open to see your blindness you begin to really know within what you do really see. You begin to know within your seeing, and the knowing within your seeing matters more to you than seeing. 

You’re not in the wrong relationship. You’re functioning from the inside out incorrectly.

Love seeing, regardless of what you see. Pain in your self tells you where you don’t want to see. Nurture, within your self, because of your openness and softness, shows you where you like to see. 

Q: Thank you.


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John de Ruiter TRANSCRIPTS

on This Topic

Q: I often feel attacked by my father. How can I untangle the knot that’s there in relationship with him? John: Just, sweetly, don’t. Sweetly don’t untangle the knot. When you are so sweetly leaving the whole knot between the two of you alone, you see him and he
Q: What is a relationship for? What is its purpose? John: A relationship is for bringing the deepest knowledge and the deepest levels, within, all the way through into being functional in your self, which is not just the making, then, of a new self, but of a higher

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