John de Ruiter Transcripts

Mined from our archive of more than two decades of teachings, JdR Gems is a sparkling collection of conversations with John, mostly not published before and much too good to miss. They range from tiny tips for everyday life to revealing our deepest destiny, and come from recordings made anywhere John has met with us, including international meetings, livestreams, camping trips, social gatherings and the Jewel Café.

Q: I want to clear up something with my father before he dies. I know the difference between being open and closed, but when I step into my parents’ home it’s very hard for me to stay open. It’s as if I step back into the child that sees a lot of abuse … my father constantly devaluing and psychologically mistreating my mother. I feel it all. It’s sometimes possible to remain open but I find it hard not to judge his anger.

John: While you experience that, sweetly forgive him.

Q: It’s easy to do here, but in the moment …

John: That’s where it matters.

Q: And that’s where I can feel frustrated because I know it matters.

John: When you’re frustrated, sweetly forgive yourself.

Q: I understand, but I seem to get amnesia in the situation. Out of the situation I know again. It’s a miracle when I can stay open, and I have had beautiful meetings with them. There is both judgment of him and of myself in this.

John: Both are false.

Q: I see that. It feels like having an apple in your hand and forgetting how to drop it, while knowing that’s what you need to do. With my partner I find it quite easy to see when I hold onto something, and I can soften and drop it.

John: Like opening and softening in the midst of really little things, the tiniest little things that annoy. If you open and soften and you live opening and softening in the really little things – things that are so small that it hardly would draw your attention – then you will easily open and soften in the really big things.

It’s you opening in the little that really does it, because that means that openness has you, that you don’t overlook it in the little things. When it is your love, you’ll be it in all of the really little things.

Q: In most situations I can at least reopen myself if I notice that I get tight, except with my parents. The opening is so small compared to in all other situations in my life.

John: Open to see everywhere in your life where you tighten. Open to see it where you’re not used to seeing it. Where you’re not used to seeing it will be in the really, really little things.

Latest Transcript

Sweet Forgiveness: When Openness Is Your Love

March 29, 2023

Q: I want to clear up something with my father before he dies. I know the difference between being open and closed, but when I step into my parents’ home it’s very hard for me to stay open. It’s as if I step back into the child that sees a lot of abuse … my father constantly devaluing and...

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Q: My question is about how to deal with pride, how to dissolve it without dismissing what I am. John: Mark your words. Take care in what you use words for, and why. Don’t say things just because you can. If you have a pride issue that you’re dealing
Q: Yesterday I heard you say that being alive in this body is the biggest opportunity to grow in awareness. I’d like to know what would be helpful for me in growing in awareness. John: By you letting your evolution as awareness matter more than everything that you have:
Q: I’d like to ask about stress and tension in my daily life, and about relaxation and softening. I get very busy but feel the call towards softening. Listening to your words makes me feel so happy, and that part of me is more connected to softness. How can
Q: I feel so happy! There’s a child growing inside of me. Can you speak about becoming a mother, a good mother, and being this as much as possible? Thank you. John: Instead of you being mother, which you don’t really know how to do, receive this child for
Q: Right after that last meeting I felt as if a little door opened in me. It had to do with what you said about experience being a messenger. Openness and softness took on new meaning. My body started opening and there was more movement, within. What disturbs me
Q: I’ve just had an operation for breast cancer and the doctors tell me I should do chemotherapy. I’ve decided not to because if I don’t learn to love and respect myself I will have cancer again in a few years, anyway. I’m hoping you can open my heart
Q: What happens after death to the being? John: After you’ve died, you will purely be what you really are. Q: Why is it important to pursue it in this lifetime? John: The whole point of being born and being here is for you to be what you are

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