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Marriage And The Soup Bone

Editors comment:
A vivid re-imagining of marriage that reveals and supports what it’s really all about.”
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When: July 14, 2001
Afternoon Meeting
Where: ,
Topics:

Q: We’d like to get married soon. Can you speak to us about marriage? 

John: Marriage is like a soup bone. 

Q: Is like a what?

John: A soup bone. When you’re completely still in it and not making it about your self, you get thoroughly cooked. Every little thing comes out to be cooked. 

If you’re not open to have everything within yourself get completely cooked, then marriage won’t work. If you’re not open to go through what a soup bone would go through, then it won’t work. 

It’s not about having great soup. It is really about the openness to go through what a soup bone would go through. If the two of you are remaining in that, that makes great soup, but by the time the soup is ready neither one of you will be there anymore. 

Q: Are you saying that it’s not for us, but it’s for it to take us? 

John: It’s about something much higher than either one of you – or even the two of you. If in any way you make it about either one of you, or about the two of you, then you’ll preserve yourself from getting cooked. Just like the movie Field of Dreams wasn’t about baseball, even though they said it was. It was all about the space in the cornfield.

Q: Can you say something about a husband and a wife being in truth together in the marriage? 

John: Each being separately rooted in truth, together; each returning to and coming back out of the source, together. 

Q: Thank you, John.

John: Every moment that you lose sight of that space in the cornfield, then you’re fooled into thinking that it’s all about farming and baseball.

It is all about the space that is in the cornfield – in farming and in baseball.

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John de Ruiter TRANSCRIPTS

on This Topic

Q: What is a relationship for? What is its purpose? John: A relationship is for bringing the deepest knowledge and the deepest levels, within, all the way through into being functional in your self, which is not just the making, then, of a new self, but of a higher
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Q: I have a question about loyalty. Somehow, I always manage to get myself in a position where I have to choose between mom and dad, and then a struggle occurs. Can you help me to recognize the true nature of loyalty? John: As with absolutely everything else, it
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