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Warmly At Home In Darkness

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When: May 31, 2018
Afternoon Meeting
Where: ,

Q: About seventeen years ago I was in an accident and I was hospitalized for two years. Two years later I was in another accident and hospitalized for three more years. My mind, body – everything – collapsed and it took me a long time to recover. Three years ago my body collapsed again and I went into a coma. That was the worst: everything went totally black and all the fears and darkness from childhood came up. So much darkness! Why is this process so hard? I don’t understand.

John: You don’t need to understand. What you can be is in deep, deep, quiet response in the midst of these powerful invitations. You keep being invited and you keep thinking that something is wrong. You’re interpreting what is happening to you from the perspective of your self, conditioned by this world, instead of reading all of it from within your heart, all gentled. 

Instead of struggling with the darkness, let your deepest warmth fill all of that darkness. It doesn’t need to change your experience of it. What this means is that you are really there in all of that darkness, instead of wishing to not be there. 

You being warmly okay in all of that darkness is your deep, deep uncovering. You don’t need the light where there is no light. You can be absolutely at home in the dark. That makes you the same as light even though you can’t see it. The light of you being that deeply at home in the dark: that light is for others. It isn’t light that you need. 

You deeply opened in the dark. As you relax, as you are so at home in the dark, you will come into your night vision. It is a very different kind of seeing. It’s a kind of seeing that only love has. Instead of struggling to breathe, hear the invitation. From a deep listening within, hear the invitation. 

Your real seeing comes from what you’re listening to. Your real seeing doesn’t come from understanding or trying to understand. It comes from your depth of listening within. 

Q: Thank you.  

 

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John de Ruiter TRANSCRIPTS

on This Topic

Q: Can you define innocence for me? John: Unpolarized happiness. Not strongly happy but deeply, quietly, subtly happy, in a way that isn’t because of a positive or the escape of any negative, so there’s no polarization to it. It’s happy without any reason at all and as soon
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