Q: There is in me some will to live the truth, but I also want to be someone. I know they don’t go together, so can you tell me how to stop being this someone and give more space to the truth?
John: Then instead of being someone, enjoy being no one. Being happy without a reason. Nothing needs to be happening.
Q: I feel like a child now.
John: Nothing needs to be happening. You don’t need to be experiencing something. Just quietly happy. Just simple sunshine. It doesn’t have to be measured by your thinking. It doesn’t have to be contained by something. It’s quietly and happily boundless – just simple sunshine within, the same here as there; the enjoyment within of being content with nothing; the enjoyment of having no need within; a very subtle smile within your inner face … the most subtle smile, within, that very pleasantly has no beginning and no end.
When you find it within, as subtle as it is, you don’t need to bring that smile all together into one point. It doesn’t need to serve a purpose. It isn’t there for your benefit; it is just simply, quietly and fully your first nature. It isn’t there for you to do something with; it is just enjoyably there.
While you are still, just let it swim through you like fish. When you become still, it moves through you. When you try to move toward it, it becomes still. As you become still, it moves through you and it keeps moving through you until you begin to move as it does. That is your enjoyment of it without you needing it. It is not exciting. It is just very quietly soothing. It is not meant to excite you; it is meant to gentle you.
As your heart becomes gentled, it naturally opens. It’s nothing exciting or big: it’s just true.