Q: I want you to show me how to give top priority to my heart, to be in it to the fullest extent. I’ve had enough of the ignorance.
John: For you to be that far gone into your heart, start with what is even deeper. The language of what you’re speaking of is a lot deeper than your heart. In your life, within all of the spaces that you’re in, in all of your time, in the midst of everything that is going to pass away, in whichever way you can, quietly lean into what you are after you’ve died.
As you live in that kind of leaning into what has nothing to do with yourself or your life, you begin to come into that resonance in you that directly has to do with that. It’s like exercising a muscle that hasn’t been used. As you stay with it and stay with it, you start to realize.
It’s your conscious leaning into what doesn’t relate to your life that exercises it, even if it would seem that you’re not getting anywhere. The “not getting anywhere” is from the perspective of your self. It’s your inclination to even have such a leaning that is it. What that means is you already know. You don’t even need to know what it is; you know that it is.
It’s like you being your soul in the midst of your life, even though you don’t know what that is. What you do know in that is a resonance and a reach. They are worth more than your life, more than anything you do. It’s worth more than what you are being in what you do. The resonance is finer. That resonance moves your being.
It’s a little like looking in the night way out into the stars. You begin to lose the concept of what you’re looking at and you find that you are just looking in and in, and there is more and more in you that knows, that knows something, and a part of you that goes so far in, so far out, that it never comes back.
As you live, that part of you isn’t coming back into your life. That part of you is so gone into what’s more. It’s that part that doesn’t come back that shifts your footing in your life; that in anything that you’re doing, you are really in something else that isn’t about what you are doing.
The resonance of that goes into everything you do, and just by virtue of living, that resonance becomes thicker and thicker. It keeps taking more of you. The only connection that has to your life is that that resonance touches intimately right into your humanness. It makes you so tender within, so available. It makes you so there.
This other substance that is taking you, as you live, more and more begins to fill the interior of your face. A different sense perception starts to open and you find that that which is awakening into your face and in your eyes is actively connecting into everything. It touches into everything. Everything touches into that in you. Your reason for living is that. Lean into what you know I’m speaking to in you.
Let all of that ground into the mystery of your sexuality, a depth of knowledge where you have no understanding. It’s that knowledge that you let magically take you. That will bring up subtly in you a depth of womanness that is intrinsic to your being having your self.