Q: My daughter is the person I love most on the planet. I deeply and dearly love her and she me, but she took a partner and the moment I saw him, I saw that he has no substance. Nothing. We’ve tried to get along but I can no longer be in the same room with him. When I visit, I ask that he is not there. It’s all starting to make me ill. Even my grand-children are aware of it now and ask us to be nice to each other. I don’t know what to do!
John: For a month, each night that you lie down to go to sleep, go to sleep forgiving him of the kind of self he has.
Q: For four weeks? Okay!
John: There’s one more: also forgiving you of the kind of self you have.
Q: That’s also not easy!
John: It’s only two things.
Q: I do that for four weeks as well?
John: Each night, that’s what you lie down to go to sleep in.
Q: And if my heart’s beating hard and I can’t sleep?
John: Then that’s good. You’ll relax. It will work. What also helps you is that you know in my saying this to you, I’ve given you a goodness.
Q: It’s true. I realize that. Normally, I love people very, very much but I don’t know what’s happening with him. Where does it come from?
John: It isn’t really him: it’s you.
Q: And what is it in me?
John: He just brings up in you what you’ve never dealt with in your self.
Q: How can I let go of it, because it’s not real, is it?
John: Forgive it in him and forgive it in you. What comes into you, then, is a heart-understanding for him and heart-understanding for you. You’ll come into a delicate humanness towards both of you.
Q: This is what I want to connect to, but it’s not so easy. In this moment it seems so beautiful, but when I go there it’s really hard!
John: That hardness will be loosening each night you lie down to go to sleep. And if it’s difficult for you to come into this when you lie down to go to sleep, if you like, for a little bit of help, you can have my hand.
Q: Oh, yes! Thank you so much. Sometimes I feel you very close – as if you are really there. So I’ll take your hand. Thank you so much!