Q: I feel like I’m in a big fight all of my life, especially in my partnership and I’m afraid I have to leave this partnership. I cannot love myself and I cannot love God.

John: Love the subtleties of goodness that you know and love the delicacies of being that you know. You’ll find what you’re looking for in the little. You’ll find it within subtleties. Look for it in the little. Look for it in subtleties, and you’ll find it everywhere. You’ll find it in everyone. You’ll realize that your heart is sensitive to it. When you are in your heart, you easily see and find the little. When you are in your heart, subtleties of goodness and delicacies of being touch your heart. The more subtle you are in being in your heart, the more you find what you’re looking for. You realize you’re surrounded by it. It’s everywhere within, and everywhere without.

When you are subtle enough as awareness in your heart, you will find what you’re looking for. You’ll find it even in a stone. When your heart feels like stone, you can even find it in your heart. When you look for it in what you are used to in your self and on the surface of your life, you’ll most easily not see it. You’ll overlook it because your seeing isn’t trained by delicacies of being. Your seeing is trained by want and need, making it easy for you to see what you lack. You’ll see what you wish to have because of seeing what you don’t have.

What you come from is what matters most for you to see. What you come from isn’t at all like your self. What you come from is so much different from what your self is. Your self hasn’t become the same as what you come from, so when you’re in your self you experience separation and lack. But when you are gentled in your heart and quieted in your heart, goodness is present and it’s enough for you.

When you are gentled and quieted in your heart, you are at rest in goodness. When you are gentled and quieted in your heart, your heart is full even while your stomach is empty. Your heart can be full while your self is empty. While your self is devoid of meaning because of what you’ve given your self to, you find meaning in your heart. When you are gentled and quieted in your heart, you find most profound meaning without changing anything in your self, without addressing anything in your life. As soon as you are gentled and quieted in your heart, there meaning is. It’s most subtle and delicate. When you are gentled and quieted in your heart, you are being most subtle and delicate. You are being the same as what your own being is of. You’re being it in your heart, which enables you to experience what you are, despite all you don’t have.

When you are quieted within, there isn’t ‘nothing’. When you are quieted and gentled in your heart, there isn’t ‘nothing’. There you are, at home…at home and in your heart, reached. You are reached by the subtlety of goodness. You are reached by your own being. You’re reached by your own being because you’re being the same in your heart as what your own being is. When you soften in your heart and you open in your heart, the beingness that you are of in your heart is the same as your own being. That’s why, as awareness, you are reached. You are reached when there is openness and softness of heart…even a little.

When you open and soften in your heart while you are in terrible need, you come into a little bit of what is incorruptible. You come into what fills, while you are in the midst of lack. When you are absorbed into what fills, you begin to have perspective, perspective concerning your lack. What you are being in your heart is worth more than all you have and all you don’t have. When you realize this and in your heart you unconditionally land in this, then you are in and one with everything that you have been most deeply looking for.

You’re in a relationship but a relationship doesn’t fill you. The little bit, the tiny little bit, the tiny little bit of goodness and of being that is already there in your heart is what gives you what you have been looking for in a relationship. It is that which makes a relationship real. Without two coming from that tiny little bit in the heart, there can be no real relating. There can be no delicate relating, relating together as beings. It doesn’t begin in a relationship. It begins in your heart where the tiny little bit, within, is enough for you, where one delicacy of being, one subtlety of goodness touches your heart and fills your heart.

When your self fills your heart, there’s no room for goodness. Your heart is already taken. Your self doesn’t belong in your heart; your being belongs in your heart. When you open and soften in your heart, you’re being the same as your own being is, enabling through your own openness and softness, your being to come into your heart. It doesn’t matter then the condition of your self because your being is filling your heart.

If you have an empty, a decrepit, a broken self but your heart is touched, you’re full. The condition of your self isn’t what makes you. It is your relationship with the tiny little bit that you know the truth of in your heart, which makes you. It’s easy to overlook because what is everything, within, offers you nothing.

What is everything, within, isn’t everything to you unless you’re in it. When you are in even one little touch of what the ‘everything’ is, then you know that you have everything. The ‘everything’ doesn’t come from your life; it doesn’t come from your self. It is in your heart, and you don’t come into it without being at rest in it. When you rest in it, you’re in it. When you’re in it – even a touch of it – you know that you are knowing what is worth everything. Respond to the tiny little bit that is already there in your heart and you are in what you have been looking for.

While your self spins in difficulty, your heart doesn’t need to move at all. In your heart, one subtlety of goodness listened to is enough to make your whole heart still, reached by what you know. You’re home.

One delicacy of being that you are at rest in, in your heart, and you don’t need to leave your relationship and you don’t need to be in your relationship. Whatever you are in, in your self, you are completed because of the little that you are knowing in your heart.

In your heart is the door to your being. If you try to use your self to open that door to your being, you’ll be stepping into your self. Whatever you use is what you are being. Being your self isn’t what reaches you. Being one little touch of your own being reaches you. This door in your heart to your own being is tiny. Openness and softness of heart naturally moves through it. Through openness and softness of heart you come into communion with your own being. Openness and softness of heart is the same beingness that your own being is of. When you are even a tiny little bit the same beingness as your own being, you have access directly to your own being.

If you are troubled with your life or the self you have, then you’ll not have your own being. Your heart will be full of your life and of your self, and you’ll be looking for what you’re missing. What you are missing is the delicacies of being that you’re able to know in your heart. When these delicacies of being fill your heart, however tiny they are, then your heart is full of what you really are and your life and your self no longer fill your heart.

With your own being filling your heart because you open in your heart to its delicacies, your heart is being swept clean. Your self is gently swept out of your heart and your own being is brought into your heart, filling your heart. Then your self matters; your self matters because it is your self that you now have for your being-filled heart to come into. Your being-filled heart comes into your self and through filling all of your self, your being-filled heart comes into your life, and then you are living what you were before looking for, longing for.