Q: Hello, last time we spoke you finished off by saying: “Let a tiny bit of truth come through in all your life.” Could you say a little bit more about that?

John: It’s that the more that you’re looking for isn’t in the more that you think and the more that you experience. The more is in the little. That makes the more all about subtlety. In that way, as you are less and less within, as you turn into subtlety you come into more and more. The way to more is less.

Q: And how do I access that?

John: By listening within in a way that is uncommon for you, listening to what is other than familiar to you. You listening within without using your past to guide your listening, without you using your past for you to listen. Deeply listen for what isn’t yet in your experience, and you’re not listening so that you can come into a new experience; it’s awareness that’s listening to knowing within that is new. So you’re not even listening within in order to experience or even to realize, but just to know newly so that you can be newly. It’s all new and it’s subtle. The more quieted you are within, the more there is in that subtlety. There can be so much in it that it causes you to realize newly and experience newly, but it isn’t about that. Those results would be incidental to you.

Q: I can relate to not listening to what’s familiar to me, but I’m not sure what it means to be deeply listening for something that I’m unfamiliar to.

John: That comes by you, awareness, opening newly. That makes the new openness what is listening. You are awareness listening your way into. It’s all new.

Q: It’s like I’m walking away from the rubbish I’ve left behind and then there’s this pattern where my nervous system gets inflamed by something, and then there’s a pattern of doubts that arises and then I get sucked back into picking through the rubbish again. It’s kind of figuring out ways to feel better and I just would like some help on how to stop this pattern.

John: If you’re focused on stopping the pattern, that empowers the pattern.

Q: So just let it run on and stop listening to it?

John: That what has you while the pattern is in motion is something completely other than that pattern. In the midst of that pattern you are taking to heart something that directly nurtures you without being in that to address the pattern. Then you are being because you deeply, quietly know, regardless of what you’re experiencing. You’re being what you know for the sake of what you directly know the truth of, not for the sake of any change, any experience. It isn’t for the sake of inner well being. You respond to what you directly know the truth of for the sake of what you’re responding to. Nothing else is attached to it.

On the level of your self this offers you nothing, but on the level being deeply, quieted within, this is home. So this really means something to you and offers nothing to your self. If you live being that clear within a self that isn’t like you yet, over time your self shifts, changes and becomes like you without you being what you know for those results. Response as awareness inwardly, when it is authentic, is without return and without result.

Q: What do you mean here by response?

John: Awareness responding inwardly; awareness on its own resting inwardly. Awareness resting into what awareness, on its own, is. When you lie down to go to sleep, as you come close to sleep you’re doing that and you’re not doing that so you can fall asleep. You’re not doing that so that you can come back and return after your sleep and be all better. When you are responding into sleep, what enables you to fall asleep is that you are as awareness resting right into what you are as awareness. It’s all into its own, which enables you to be divested of all of your forms. It enables you to turn into nothing and nobody. That’s what is able to have, in your life, all of your thinking, all of your feeling, all of your doing.

Everything that you being something has, your being can’t have. When you’re being something and somebody, your being will have restricted access. The less that you are something and somebody, the more access your being has. When you are living being nobody and nothing, your being has unrestricted access into your self, into your mind. The being nothing and nobody isn’t something that you can use your forms to do. You can’t meditate your way into being nobody and nothing in your life. You can, as awareness, directly relax into that in the midst of your thinking, your feeling.

Q: You were saying that meditation could be a helpful tool.

John: Only until it works. As soon as it works that means now you know. Now be what you know that you realized in meditation without you needing to meditate again. What you drop into in meditation, drop into that mid-stream in your thinking, mid-stream in all of your doing. That’s you letting what you realize in meditating fill your existence.

Q: I’m not sure I’ve yet realized what you’re speaking of, though, in meditation.

John: You’ve already realized it so many times when you lie down to go to sleep. You could call that a sleep meditation. So you’ve meditated in a way that really works and enables you to leave existence, and you’ve done that thousands and thousands of times. That means when you are honest to your core you know how to live. You know how to be without the assistance of form. You’re able to be that as you move your form. The principle that you’re engaging without realizing it, the principle that you’re engaging in falling asleep, is the same deep inner principle by which to live.

Q: I’ve never been very good at falling asleep!

John: It doesn’t matter whether you’re good at it or not: you do fall asleep so you do know. You know how to disappear. You know how to turn into nothing. You know how to return to being nobody and nothing without the use of something, without somebody doing that. It works so intuitively to you, awareness, that you don’t even realize after all these years of tipping into sleep, without you consciously realizing how you perfectly return to nothing and nobody, and that this is what you really are and this is what is able to do all of your thinking and feeling. This is what is able to move all of your doing, your actions. This is what is able to have your self, your personality and your life. You haven’t put that together.

As you return to nothing, you lose the something that enables you to realize the benefit of that power in your life, so as you return to nothing you don’t benefit in an understanding. The benefit is to what you really are – your return to it. The benefit is that you are being it again, even though you’re not understanding that this is what you’re looking for in all of your self and in all of your life. It doesn’t compute.

It doesn’t compute within the innocence of a child what that child is being. Its own innocence isn’t registered. It isn’t understood. Because of awareness relaxed, the innocence is all natural; it’s real. If you ask the child how does it be that, how does it do that, it won’t understand what you’re talking about. If someone could monitor your brain to catch you right at the tipping point of sleep and the moment you tip, that person wakes you up and quickly asks you the question, “Okay, how did you do that?” you who hears the question isn’t the same as you who tipped into sleep, so you won’t understand. If you integrate that level of the I, a level of the I that doesn’t relate to awareness conscious in the self it has, if you integrate these deeper levels of the I within the context of your life, then if someone woke you up right at the tipping point and were to ask you, “How do you do that?” you’d be able to explain it.

A child that remains in its innocence through its developmental stages develops in its capacity to communicate to others what it is being in its innocence. Through the developmental stages, innocence comes into knowledge of what it is without separating from what it is.

Q: Can I ask another question? I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease a couple of months ago and there’s been a lot of anxiety and stress around that. I would love to hear you say something about that.

John: That anxiety is dangerous for your physical well being. For you, what is safe is for you to absolutely relax within that condition; that it becomes nurturingly real to you that being sick is so fine, that the pain of it in your body is so fine. The discomfort of it is so fine and that dying of it is so fine. When all of that is absolutely clear, then whatever you do for your body is genuinely for your body. It’s not result-oriented for you, so then you actually are taking care of something that is yours. Care is given to your body without you hinging anything of that to you. That is love given into your body. It isn’t self- reflective. It’s given without connection back to you.

Awareness relaxed is incapable of being sick, and awareness can be at home completely in the midst of a diseased mind or a diseased body, and it doesn’t inhibit or restrict what it really is. Awareness relaxed, you being what you really are, on its own, thrives in any environment. Thrives in the most diseased and sickly environment.

An unintegrated self that relates in a polarized way to well-being, that self can’t comprehend this. You can comprehend this.

Q: Thank you.