Q: Why do I see the light around you? Why do I see your form change and melt? Your face changes.

John: You respond to a deeper level than your self. From there you see but what you see is different. There’s more to reality than what you’re accustomed to seeing.

Q: My mind wants to know more about reality, more about myself. It’s addicted to seeking with longing for truth, for my real nature. The mind keeps longing, looking for more knowledge.

John: Your mind doesn’t long. You use it to long. Everything that is occurring in your experience is what you’re doing. It is all you being it and doing it. What you are experiencing is of service to you. You know how to use longing. You know how to use everything you’re experiencing. You know how to go the short way, how to go the long way. You know how to respond instantly and you know how to make response a process. You know how to configure your experience precisely to what serves you.

You’re not consciously aware that you’re doing all of that. Not being consciously aware is also what you are doing. Any sense that you have of being limited, confined to a certain configuration of experience, any sense in which you are a victim of inability, inability within your interior, you have configured and configure a use for it in a way that conceals that you’re behind it, that you’ve made it so.

It isn’t bad that you do that. It isn’t bad that anyone does that. And while it’s not a bad thing, it also doesn’t work. It doesn’t work in the sense that it doesn’t meet what you really are. It doesn’t satisfy what you really are. It offers satisfaction on the level in which you move that is to the exclusion of the deeper levels, the deeper levels of you. Any satisfaction held within a level that is to the privation of deeper levels is going to lack, within that level, deeper-leveled satisfaction.

When you are oriented as awareness simply and directly to the deepest that you have awakened to, that which you are able to come from is naturally inclusive of all of the following levels. You being oriented as awareness to the deepest is the nurture to all of your other following levels, right to the surface. You can’t be fundamentally nurtureful without you as awareness being mastered by the deepest that you know the truth of.

Awareness being mastered by the deepest that it knows is what opens the being from within that depth, flooding all of the other levels with the purity of beingness. Awareness mastered by knowing is awareness mastered by meaning, enabling awareness to be the continuity of meaning, the pure flow of meaning within all of your levels: the movement of oneness.

Q: I have a prayer to you, to all of existence, to myself: please make me conscious of everything that is untrue in me. Please let me serve only truth.

John: You don’t need to pray or ask because there isn’t anything at all which stops you. Nothing prevents you. Nothing hinders you.

Q: Then why am I unconscious of some of the things within me, as you said earlier: I’m creating this, but not consciously?

John: It serves you as awareness to not be conscious of more. When you don’t know more than what you’re used to, it’s because as awareness you’re not responding to what you do know. Response, pure response, to what you do know, opens you. It opens response to knowing, opens awareness. When awareness opens, awareness knows more.

The way that you move as awareness, if you were to manifest that way into physical reality, you would be exposed. In physical reality, if you’re hungry and starving, if you’re in great need of food and food is given to you but it’s not very much food, and if you look at the food and you don’t eat and someone asks you, “Why are you not eating? You’re in such need of food; you’re starving…” if you answer you’re not eating because there’s not enough food – you’re disappointed that there’s not more so you’re waiting for it to be more – your reasoning would be absurd.

As awareness you’re able to be like that within your own interior, and you’re able to cover what you don’t want to know and what you don’t want to see. In that way, you’ll then not see that the way that you are being as awareness is absurd, and you’ll be a victim of the results of that.

If you say that you really want to know, if you’re asking to know or if you’re praying to know, to know more, but you’re not in complete, pure response to what you already know, then the asking and the prayer is the movement of self delusion. It is then really just a story that you’re acting out: praying for food while there is a little plate of food before you. What that means then is that you’re more satisfied with praying and asking and all of the feeling that goes with that, than eating…having what’s there.

Q: I know I’m absurd and I really want to draw a line on this absurdity, and follow and eat of the few grains I’m given.

John: Then you are openness and softness of heart in pure response to what is there. If all that is there are a few crumbs, you are beautifully responsive in receiving them. Whatever is there, for openness and softness of heart, is so deeply enough. If all that there is is a crumb of truth, for openness and softness of heart there’s so much there to live by, so much there to be. The satisfaction in it is quietly to the core.

That which responds is more than the crumb. Pure response to the crumb is more than the crumb. Awareness responding purely and completely to what seems so little is awareness opening completely. Awareness that opens completely is more than what it was. As soon as it is more, awareness knows more.

Q: Please can you say something about what true responding is?

John: Absolute belief. Belief is how awareness moves.

When awareness believes, awareness absorbs as much as it is being absorbed. Awareness is not able to not move. It’s not able to not believe. What it is able is to direct its belief. Awareness is able to know what is true and direct its belief away from what it knows to what it needs to be true, wishes to be true. In whatever direction awareness believes in response to knowing or away from it, awareness makes real; making real into form what is true or what is not true, depending on the direction of its belief. In whichever direction awareness believes, it is absorbed and it also completely absorbs. In that way it becomes one with; it becomes the same as.

Separation is the principle of oneness engaged in what is not true, resulting in an illusion manifested into form. Once manifested into form, the illusion holds. Form holds. It can come apart, but not without cost to form, not without cost to your forms.

For awareness to absorb and to be absorbed by what it doesn’t know the truth of, for awareness to believe what it doesn’t know the truth of, is for awareness to unnaturally distort, and it knows it. Within that distortion, even within the manifested form of it – a form of separation – for awareness to relax clearly all the way through is for awareness to un-distort, returning to what is natural, to what it naturally is. Awareness knows how to rest in what it really is. It doesn’t matter what distortion it has absorbed into. It knows how to relax into being what it naturally is.

The form of that distortion will hold for some time. It doesn’t just go away. While it holds for some time, awareness that is in that form, when it relaxes all the way through to what it naturally is, is then pure awareness within distorted form. The distorted form slowly responds, becoming the same in form, reflecting pure awareness.

None of this needs to be understood. None of this needs to be remembered. Any of this that you know the truth of, that you resonate with, that you know that you see…it all points to what you already knew in your heart but perhaps didn’t understand. Not understanding isn’t a lack. Not knowing isn’t a lack.

Not purely responding to whatever it is that you do know the truth of is a lack, and that lack will then permeate everything that you’re being and doing. That lack resonates into everything that’s yours, giving you in-form feedback that you know more than what you’re responding to; that in some way you’re being separate as awareness from what you know the truth of; that you’re distracted as awareness into being absorbed and absorbing something other than what you know…until there is so much developed form to that distraction, responded to and believed, that it would seem almost impossible to not be able to see past it anymore.

Awareness, in such a state and within such form, relaxes because it’s what’s natural to it. It relaxes and it knows more. It relaxes into what it’s knowing that is more, and it is more. Its real capacity and ability is quickly all returning, not actually hindered or stopped by anything.

Awareness relaxing loves. Awareness relaxing loves what it knows. It loves absorbing and it loves into absorption. Awareness relaxing loves into oneness. Oneness is where there’s no disparity between awareness and what awareness knows. Where there is no separation between awareness and what awareness knows, each is absorbed into the other. They move as one. They are both the same.

For pure awareness there is only the truth, and for pure awareness its only movement is love. If as awareness you’ve become separate, relax and you know your way. Relax and you love. Then, even in the midst of separation and being in forms of separation …what lack?

Regardless of any experience of lack, for awareness relaxing…what lack?