Q: Is there something you can say that helps me to go deeper when I’m by myself?

John: Identify what you know the truth of in your heart, and then as awareness relate to that directly. Then instead of your being what your self is, you will be what knowing is. The knowing in your heart is deeper than what your self is. Your relating as awareness directly to what that knowing is takes you deeper, within, than what your self is. You don’t need to understand what it is you’re knowing. You don’t need to understand how it is there. You don’t need to understand its application to your self. You need to only believe what you know the truth of in your heart.

In believing what you are knowing in your heart, you are absorbing and being absorbed by what you are knowing. That absorption changes what you are. That changes the level in your body, the level in your body that you’re coming from. It’s a different level in your body than the level in your body that relates to your self.

When you’re relating to your self, that’s a level of sensation in your body that you’re accustomed to. That level of sensation activates your conditioning and your patterning. When you are relating to what you know the truth of in your heart, there’s a different level of sensation to that…a level of sensation that has nothing to do with your self…so it doesn’t call upon your patterning and the conditioning in your self. It calls upon the deeper levels, within. It awakens them.

As the deeper levels within move, move and stir, capacity in your heart for the deep, within, opens and changes your perspective on your self. It changes how you see. Instead of seeing your self from what your self already is, you’ll be seeing your self from what your self isn’t yet.

In this way you, as awareness, in your heart, are changed without your changing something in your self first. That subtle change has nothing to do with your self. Your being what that subtle change is, in the midst of your self, changes your self. In that way you’re not making the change in your self; you’re being the change in your self. You’re not using anything that’s in your self for you to change. Your change comes from your relating to what you know the truth of in your heart, your relating to something within that has nothing to do with your self.

Q: You’re speaking about changing a lot, and the way I was trying to help it was by noticing where I was holding onto something and then trying to let go.

John: When you try to let go of the holding, you’ll be using something of your self to let go of what you are holding in your self. That activates other patterning. The letting go in your self comes from your being something that isn’t your self and has nothing to do with your self. It comes from a different relating. When you’re relating directly to what you know the truth of in your heart, you are being what holding isn’t.

Q: I know that my physical condition of chronic fatigue is a way in, and of course it comes with strong sensations of all kinds. How can I use that or can you say something about that?

John: The level of your body that has to do with what your self isn’t yet is a different level of your body than the level of your body that you relate to when you’re in your self, when you’re experiencing your self. When you’re experiencing chronic fatigue, the sensation of that confirms your self to you. It grounds you in your self. The level of your body that opens when you are believing and relating to what you know the truth of in your heart is a different level of your body than what your chronic fatigue is and than what your self is. It has you being something different than what fatigues. It’s a most subtle opening.

When that subtle opening means more to you than your experience of the fatigue, then you are being what your self isn’t yet. If you move to be what that is so that you can heal your condition and your body so that you can change your self, then you are being your self again.

It matters more for you to be what the deeper levels are, within, than for you to heal.

Q: I know, I have to take care of this body because I’m in it, and I’m not making a big deal of it; I’m just taking care of it. So I have to notice what the sensations are to protect myself otherwise I’m sicker after a while, but I also get that when I’m too much in these sensations I am in my old self again. So I have to do both, in a way. I’m going deeper, more in the knowing that I don’t understand yet and I see my self changing as a result of that. So how can I combine the two?

John: By not following the sensations in your body that are there as a result of your opening. That way the deeper levels of you, within, and the corresponding deeper levels of your body that open are not what first have your attention.

The deeper levels of your body opening are important because it means that the deeper levels, within, of you are becoming physical without your being focused on the physical or the sensation. When you are in the sensation of the deeper levels of your body without that sensation having you, then you are embodying the deeper levels, within. When you are being the sensation of that, you’re bringing your self into what your self isn’t a part of. When you bring your self into it, then you’re being your self within the deeper opening. That separates you from the deeper opening.

Q: So always to stay on the unknown terrain.

John: Known by you and unknown from the perspective of your self. The deeper levels of your body open because you are being the deeper opening while you’re in your body, without the new sensation of that distracting you or having you. That makes the result secondary to you. When the result is secondary, then you can embody the cause of the result. That has you owning the result.

Q: Is there also a way that we can use the mind in this focusing to that what I know in my heart?

John: You can use the level of mind that you’re accustomed to in your use of your self to ask what you know the truth of in your heart, but then you cannot use the same level of mind to answer. You can use it to point. With the pointing you then realize what you know in your heart.

When you are relating to what you are knowing in your heart, you won’t be using your thinking. You won’t be using the level of mind that you’re used to in your use of your self. You’ll be using a level of mind that is of the same level as what you are knowing in your heart. You’ll be using your subtle mind.

Thinking with your subtle mind isn’t at all like how you think in your self. Thinking in your self has a self-purpose. When you’re using your subtle mind there isn’t a self-purpose. Thinking with your subtle mind isn’t practical to your self. It isn’t practical in your self. It’s practical to what you know in your heart. That has you being what you are knowing in your heart.

Q: And the same goes for feelings, or is there also a difference between the subtle mind and the subtler feelings?

John: A different level of feeling opens. As that deeper level of feeling that is also more subtle opens, that may have you feeling really good in your self. Don’t be distracted by that. Remain in the subtle feeling while there is a much greater feeling in your self, so that the effect of how you feel in your self is purely secondary to you. It doesn’t distract you.

Q: And then there is the more subtle will?

John: The fine touch, within, of willingness; the willingness to not hold what feels so good, the willingness to not lay hold of the result. It’s like having a most important conversation with someone while you’re holding a baby, that you don’t lose the fine connection with the baby. The fine connection with the baby is of greater importance to you, within, than the important conversation. That makes your beingness with the baby have space in the conversation. That gives a conversation a level of beingness that has nothing to do with the subject matter of the conversation. That fine thread of beingness that is in the conversation is of greater value than the conversation.

For you to have a self is for you to be in conversation. Your much finer beingness that is in that is of greater value than the conversation. That changes your self, raising the level of conversation.