Q: My question is actually very basic. I know that it would help me tremendously to be less judgmental, less opinionated, less thoughtful. Yet the fact of the matter is that I’m almost always hindered by my judgments, my opinions. How do you incorporate being less judgmental? How do you practice it?

John: Take all of the investment that you’ve put into your self, that you’ve put into what you think, what you feel and what you want, and give all of that back to your heart. What you’ll be sweetly embracing is that your self as you’ve known it is not trustworthy and that what you know in your heart is trustworthy, and put your trust back to where you know it belongs.

What you’ll experience is that your self is actually weaker than what you have liked it to be, what you’ve needed it to be. In your self not being as strong as what you’ve made it to be, there will be a sweet humility in your self, and your heart will be strong. For you to be whole within, your heart needs to be bigger and stronger than your self. Your heart needs to be more than what your self is. Your heart won’t be more than what your self is if you give the power that belongs to your heart and what you know in your heart to what you think and feel and want in your self.

When you falsely give power to your self, you’ll find out quickly. A falsely empowered self is that which you’re trying to get rid of in your self. You’ll be judgmental. You’ll be negative. You’ll be controlled by your emotions. You’ll be easily frustrated, easily disappointed. The more that that happens, the more you’ll give power to your self. Your self won’t become better; it becomes worse.

Your self can’t become any better than what you are being in your heart. When your heart is bigger and stronger than your self, your self heals and strengthens, but not in the way that you have empowered it. It heals and it becomes stronger because of the beingness that is in your heart that comes into your self.

Beingness heals your heart. When you are being in your heart in the midst of your self, your being-filled heart is what heals your self and not the power that you give to your self. When you empower your self and bypass your heart, you make your self actually weaker. You’ll sense that lack and you’ll pour more power into your self to overcome the lack and the vulnerability, and you’ll project onto others the lack you’re not dealing with in your self.

If you don’t want to be judgmental anymore, if you don’t want to be overcome with negativity when you’re under pressure, completely return to your heart and accept all of the effects of that on your self. The effect on your self is that you will really see in your self weakness, lack and vulnerability. Don’t protect it and don’t cover it. If you do, you’ll leave your heart. When you leave your heart, you won’t have the deep supply of meaning in your self. That deep meaning in your self comes only from you being in your heart.