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Questions About Pain and Suffering

“Pain is like guilt, or shame. There’s goodness in guilt and in shame, only for some moments, enough for you to realize from within your relationship with knowledge. You realize something that you know.

When you are real in that pain, ‘real’ as in you are letting in the intimacy of being, and you’re letting that intimacy of being have feeling and have thought, have your seeing, then your pain soon turns to joy.”

Latest YouTube Video on Pain and Suffering

Freed From the Burden of Your Pain and Frustration

November 2, 2018 @ 7:15pm

Frustrated by a lack of understanding, this questioner feels he’s not getting the help he needs to connect with his heart and the honesty John speaks of. By way of a simple metaphor, John illustrates the way out of frustration into surrender.

Latest Podcast on Pain and Suffering

John de Ruiter Podcast 594

Fully Present in Your Body, Fully Present in Your Heart

September 11, 2014 @ 12:00pm

Closing down to the experience of vulnerability can mean dissociating from the body. John shares a simple way to become more present however uncomfortable we feel.

Latest Transcript on Pain and Suffering

Sweet Forgiveness: When Openness Is Your Love

March 29, 2023

Q: I want to clear up something with my father before he dies. I know the difference between being open and closed, but when I step into my parents’ home it’s very hard for me to stay open. It’s as if I step back into the child that sees a lot of abuse … my father constantly devaluing and...

Q: I want to clear up something with my father before he dies. I know the difference between being open and closed, but when I step into my parents’ home it’s very hard for me to stay open. It’s as if I step back into the child that sees a lot of abuse … my father constantly devaluing and psychologically mistreating my mother. I feel it all. It’s sometimes possible to remain open but I find it hard not to judge his anger.

John: While you experience that, sweetly forgive him.

Q: It’s easy to do here, but in the moment …

John: That’s where it matters.

Q: And that’s where I can feel frustrated because I know it matters.

John: When you’re frustrated, sweetly forgive yourself.

Q: I understand, but I seem to get amnesia in the situation. Out of the situation I know again. It’s a miracle when I can stay open, and I have had beautiful meetings with them. There is both judgment of him and of myself in this.

John: Both are false.

Q: I see that. It feels like having an apple in your hand and forgetting how to drop it, while knowing that’s what you need to do. With my partner I find it quite easy to see when I hold onto something, and I can soften and drop it.

John: Like opening and softening in the midst of really little things, the tiniest little things that annoy. If you open and soften and you live opening and softening in the really little things – things that are so small that it hardly would draw your attention – then you will easily open and soften in the really big things.

It’s you opening in the little that really does it, because that means that openness has you, that you don’t overlook it in the little things. When it is your love, you’ll be it in all of the really little things.

Q: In most situations I can at least reopen myself if I notice that I get tight, except with my parents. The opening is so small compared to in all other situations in my life.

John: Open to see everywhere in your life where you tighten. Open to see it where you’re not used to seeing it. Where you’re not used to seeing it will be in the really, really little things.

Latest VOD on Pain and Suffering

Midnight Sky, Winter Seminar, December 31, Morning

December 31, 2023

“Openness is what you are. When you close, you shut you down. What is open can close and what is closed can open. Regardless of what you’ve done or not done, live delicately opening.”   Energy centres: what you do to one you do to all Returning to alignment; live delicately opening When you open for a benefit, you close the real in you The difference between risking the high and the deep Don’t fix what is broken in...

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VOD Duration: 100 Minutes

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