671 – In Conversation with a Finer Beingness
How can you move beyond the self as well as taking care of sickness in the body? John explains the subtleties that matter most and how to relate to them.
John de Ruiter Podcast 576
John de Ruiter Podcast 576
Quieted in the Midst of Panic
When: April 6, 2011 @ 7:15pm
Where: Amsterdam, The Netherlands
Paralyzing panic that strikes at the root of the will to live is the subject of this conversation. Moving beyond it depends on what we relate to, and John explains.
“The way to a greater self is by first being even the tiniest little bit within that is already greater than your self, not subject to your self.”
- Quieted in the Midst of Panic 00:00
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Podcast Transcript
Quieted in the Midst of Panic
Q: John, I’m being brought back to a point where I no longer can distinguish between breathing in or out and I feel the heart pulsing very intensely. It’s usually occurring during the night during the transition of sleeping and waking. It causes a tremendous physical feeling of panic. If there is a question it has to do with the sense of being paralyzed and the difference between the will to live and the will to die, and not seeing the difference. There’s nowhere to go.
John: Instead of relating to what you’re experiencing, relate as awareness to an openness and a softness of heart. That takes you immediately into beingness. That has you being deeper than what your self is. When you’re being deeper than what your self is, you’re also being more than what your self is. Openness and softness of heart is greater than what your self is. The way to a greater self is by first being even the tiniest little bit within that is already greater than your self, not subject to your self.
That takes you as awareness into a very fine and gentled delicateness, within. Coming from that will have you feeling vulnerable in your self. It takes you out of the reaction against your self, but then leaves you in a very delicate vulnerability, the reason why the tendency is to prefer being in a state of reaction. It doesn’t have you feeling that exquisite vulnerability.
A harder self copes more easily in the immediate than a softer self. A softer self is experienced as being less grounding, whereas a harder self is immediately grounding. That sense of grounding gives you a false sense of safety in your self, and the use of that separates you from your own being.
When you relax as awareness without trying to do so as a body or a self – relaxing as awareness because of surrendering to realization within – within realization is real knowledge, something the experience of your self doesn’t give you. That real knowledge that comes into your experience by realization moves by your surrender to it. Your surrender to it enables you to be coming from it.
Your functional self – the self that you live by – isn’t going to be helping you in this. Your functional self gives you functionality, not your own beingness. For you to be your own beingness takes you out of the functionality that’s in your self, making you feel within your self vulnerable, yet home as a being.
When you wake up after sleeping and you have something of that panic, you’re able as awareness to be gentled and quieted within in the midst of the panic, without your trying to change the experience of the panic. That has you being okay in the midst of what doesn’t feel okay.
It’s the beginning of your relating to what you are as a being instead of relating to what you are as a self.
John de Ruiter PODCASTS
on This Topic
670 – Embodying Your Deepest Awakening: The Role of Belief
John explains how belief empowers the embodiment of the deep, known but not yet seen, making real what you know the truth of – the reason for your living.
669 – Simply and Quietly Free of Your Past
A deep-seated belief in a past-life experience has created a vicious circle of grief and addiction for this person. Did it really happen, and how can he become free of it?
668 – Awareness Home: From Fragmentation to Oneness
Awareness has the intrinsic ability to move in sophisticated ways. Some of them are helpful, but John describes how any self-orientation ultimately reinforces separation.
667 – Uncovering Subconscious Beliefs
An exploration of how subconscious beliefs determine our movement, and what happens as they are set free from their structures.
666 – At Home in Your Body, Free of Concern
This conversation reveals how being at home in your body as is, without concern, is the beginning of being in this life connected to the innermost of everything.
