Excerpt from a dialogue with John de Ruiter on July 1, 2014
Q: When I see couples here, and what they can dive into together, it seems that there really is so much more possibility in being a couple than in being single.
John: Yes, but that possibility works equally for a negative or for a spin. Walking into a relationship is not a blessing and it’s not a curse, but It can go either way, and it can have mixtures of the two depending on what each is being in it. So there’s a lot of power in a relationship.
Q: It seems to me it could be some kind of a generator.
John: It is.
Q: Am I ready for that, and how do I avoid going in to a relationship that’s not really it?
John: You’d have to be really clear, because all of the input from your past would have you moving in a direction that secures what you’ve already done. Your past determines your future unless you’re clearly moving past your self and responding to what you know in your heart. Then there’s a break, a disconnect between your past and your future, and your future is being determined by what you’re responding to. That will also affect your nervous system. Your nervous system is connected to your self, so that will bring difficulty for you. That difficulty is an influence to you for reverting to what you’re used to in your self, which puts you back in your past and reconnects your past to your future. But if you stay really clear, stay in your heart responding to what you know in your heart, then everything is clear.
Q: Okay, I guess I rest into this field of love and let it be what it is? I feel this sorrow in it.
John: The sorrow has a story in it; every spin has a story.
Q: Yes, so just let the reactions be, and not try to figure out what it is?
John: Don’t try to figure it out. If you try to figure it out, you’re feeding the story and the spin.
Q: I’m totally okay resting into the deeper field.
John: It’s not that you can’t move to figure things out, but the only true kind of looking to figure things out is if you are really in your heart. So then, your use of your thinking to figure something out is from within a restedness in your heart, and an actual clarity. If you’re not starting with a clarity, then you’ll be starting with a spin and trying to figure something out is going to increase that spin, like scratching an itch until it damages the skin.