The great potential of our deeper sexuality to manifest in our lovemaking all depends on dearness, being given to the heart and our real humanness. This talk introduces the connection between a woman’s sexual anatomy, arousal, and the sexual fields that lie just beyond self-oriented, polarized sexuality.
Q: I loved when you spoke about linking the inner and outer sexual fields and I feel that’s exactly what I’m missing. I have a sense of my inner and outer fields, or some of them, but I don’t know how to link it, especially in love-making, and so I wanted to ask you if you could say more about how to link it?
John: Through dearness.
Q: So far I try to link my sexuality to my beingness …
John: Through dearness.
Q: And can you say something about the difference of those inner and outer sexual fields? My sense is there is more fusion in there. Can you say what’s so specific about that?
John: There are several points on the inside and several points on the outside of your sexual anatomy, representing fields, sexual fields, that belong to your being, and given to your heart and everything deeper, your being comes into them, bringing into form the powers of your humanness that inform your self of what’s real.
Q: Why is it important to link them as opposed to just relating to?
John: They naturally link together on their own, with any movement of being. What breaks the linking is when you relate to your sexual arousal through attraction or aversion. When it’s your inner beingness that has your sexual arousal, the other sexual fields that you’re not even aware of, begin linking. As they are linking together, the cohesive flow of them comes right into your arousal. If you switch to any self-orientation, the linking comes apart. But if you remain in uneducated dearness…
Q: Did you say “uneducated”?
John: Dearness, not educated by anything of your past, dearness not educated by what you’ve experienced, then the linking not only continues, but all manifests in your arousal that freely moves your humanness, moves your humanness with a power that all of the powers of your self are incapable of.
As all of the numerous sexual fields link together, without any polarized interruption, that’s what brings up the ever-so-deep, black dragon of love in you.
Q: Is polarization any like or dislike in my self, not necessarily leading to physicality?
John: The liking is really fine. As you move freely in the liking, that will expose any relationship to your self that’s polarized. As you move in the liking, you will discover the dislike. Being in the liking makes you vulnerable, in your self, to your relationship to dislike. It’s a little like moving in positive emotions. As you move freely in them, the higher that you move in them, the more set-up you are. The higher that you move in them, the less it will take to switch you, where you make a micro-choice, it’s polarized, that hurls you into negative emotions.
As you start to see that pattern, the tendency is to be wary of being freed in positive emotion to avoid being cast into negativity. As you move in the emotional field, any little thing that comes up that you don’t like flips the emotional field into negativity. You are to freely move in the emotional field in the way that your being moves, regardless of what that may bring up in you that you haven’t dealt with in your self. Move freely in the liking and you start to see into the liking that has no opposite.
Liking is really a movement of being in your self. As that brings up any dislike, then drop a level deeper within the liking. Dearness naturally takes you there.
This woman is touched by John sharing what sexuality is really for and wants to know what it means to be a woman. John shares the subtle differences between man and woman, and shows her how to invite and move in her sexuality anew – this time aligned to the delicacies of its deeper mystery.
A newly married woman is exploring how to give more outer form to her marriage, and discovering what it means to grow in realness, togetherness and deeper sexuality with her husband.
This interviewer wants to get at how John’s teachings can open the territory many of us share – the world of relationship and sexuality. What gives relationship a true foundation? How can sexuality go deeper than want and need? You speak of connectivity and dearness, John, but how can we relate to that when we don’t like each other? These questions and more are worked out in this dialogue.
A young man would like to be free of the conditioning and judgments he knows are present in his sexuality and asks for help. John explains in practical terms how sexuality can be returned to the heart, freeing judgments held in the body and bringing balance and healing.
The most powerful human engine is sexuality. The sexual fields are the magicalness of our sexuality, a magicalness that isn’t reachable and obtainable through anything that we can do in our selves. We can’t access them without deepening in our humanness: that our initial purpose of life comes from being within the heart and coming from the heart. Living from that is the revelation of our humanness. The mystery is all there in our sexuality, in the meaning of meeting and communion, connecting us to the beyond.
Real womanness needs no defence, isn’t able to be overpowered. There isn’t anything that can enclose it, confine it, or stop it. Real womanness is quietly, deeply inviolable. Real womanness is just like our being. There, we have the potential for real relationship, that isn’t based on want and need, that doesn’t touch into lack. In these talks from an Open Mic gathering in Netanya, Israel, John explains how to let real womanness grow in us like a new inner garden, integrating our sexuality and enabling us to really get to know our selves.
What is the deepest, truest place for a man in lovemaking? What is the real value of that union between a man and a woman? A master class in deeper sexuality, this talk will take you all the way to where man and woman are the same, and then all the way back up into the surface, where lovely differences flower in a way that isn’t possible without it being from the innermost outwards. Love with forms, all of them. It’s a little like two babies loving each other. It’s magical and the result is magical. It’s a love absorption.
John answers questions on various topics, in an open mic setting. How to have a deeper relationship with your children, how to open without reason, coming from the roots of your awareness in your meditation and in the rest of your day, the practise of NLP – is it helpful?, the need to be happy, being okay in the midst of anything, sexuality, deeper womanness and deeper manness, overcoming childhood trauma and what makes therapy work.
In this talk, John talks about deeper human sexuality. If you are new to Johns teachings and lingo you may need to watch this one a few times to understand the dialogue! Relax and enjoy the transmission…
“My sole purpose is to be, in life, what we are after we’ve died. Through openness and softness of heart and core-splitting honesty at any personal cost, I live as that while actualizing the same in others I meet. I am available as a resource for anyone who recognizes and values this way of being.”
– John de Ruiter
