The Opening of Your Sexual Fields: The Flower of Your Humanness
The most powerful human engine is sexuality. The sexual fields are the magicalness of our sexuality, a magicalness that isn’t reachable and obtainable through anything that we can do in our selves. We can’t access them without deepening in our humanness: that our initial purpose of life comes from being within the heart and coming from the heart. Living from that is the revelation of our humanness. The mystery is all there in our sexuality, in the meaning of meeting and communion, connecting us to the beyond.
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With John de Ruiter from the January 12, 2015 Edmonton Winter Seminar
Q: About this sexuality, fields of sexuality: I want to understand more about it. For me it seems like a vibration, like electromagnetic vibrations surrounding me and in many streams, and when you sit here in the hall you can feel all this, it’s almost that you cannot not feel it, all these streams that are towards you. My question is concerning what you bring.
John: What I bring isn’t because of what I do as much as what I’m coming from and that I’m being what I’m coming from. When we are oriented to a humanness sensitivity instead of a self sensitivity, when it is our deeper humanity that we’re consciously connected to, the way that we develop into our selves and into our personalities is like a flower. There are so many petals to the flower. The beauty of the flower is how it so wonderfully opens. The last thing to really show in a flower opening is the stamen, the centre of the flower, which is really like the glory of the flower. In our selves, in our conditioning, we function the other way around where it’s the masculine energy that’s most prominent in men and in women; the power of thought, the power of the will, the power of emotions making much of the stamen and nothing of the opening of the flower. Within our un-integration and existing from within our conditioning, we are so much not like flowers but as soon as we start to slow down and quieten a little bit, and we’re coming from a depth of listening within, we realize first the value of not so much what we can do but how we are opening. It isn’t so much our strengths that matter but how we are actually seated within our weaknesses.
As our humanity opens there’s increased purpose for our selves. The value of our selves is completely dependent on our humanity. Our humanness has everything to do with being relaxed in the heart and that our initial purpose of life doesn’t come from our selves but it comes from being within the heart and coming from the heart. Living from that is the revelation of our humanness, and that it is our humanness that gives a quality of life to our selves. Once seated in our humanness we realize that it’s our deeper beingness within our humanness that opens up the depths of our humanness.
The sexual fields are inseparable from our humanness. The sexual fields are the magicalness of our sexuality, a magicalness that isn’t reachable and obtainable through anything that we can do in our selves. The effort in our selves serves to separate us from that magicalness and leaves us with a less than deeply meaningful sexuality. For the sexual fields to open in a man or in a woman our humanness in its levels, in its depth needs to all, petal by petal, open like a flower.
Q: In this there is no difference between a man and a woman?
John: Essentially, no.
Q: But you were referring to the anatomy of a woman. That makes a difference.
John: The anatomy of a woman is so much more complex – the sexual anatomy of a woman – than that of a man. Awareness in a self, growing up with that complexity, naturally generates a sensitivity because there’s the awareness of subtle differences.
Q: So what would be the difference as a result in the fields?
John: There isn’t. There isn’t a difference.
Q: I don’t understand how.
John: Whether it is a man or a woman that comes into the sexual fields, it isn’t because of any self-development. It’s because that person has authentically opened from the deep within, outwards, just like a flower.
Q: And what is the divine purpose of these sexual fields?
John: The sexual fields hold all of the deeper powers of humanness. The most powerful human engine is sexuality. The opening of those powers is dependent on the humanness in the person opening like a flower. The more deeply and unconditionally you reside in your humanness, the safer you are with power. It’s your humanness, you being in your humanness, that makes you safe; that makes you safe for your self, and from within your self for others.
The great powers of our humanness are there in our sexuality. If we’re oriented to our selves we reduce our sexuality to that of attraction and aversion which separates us from our humanity. It separates us from the mystery of our humanness and the great mysteries of its power, all there in our sexuality, but its fields are only accessible through our humanness. Sexuality without our humanness has no depth of meaning.
Q: Do the sexual fields help us to deepen, to integrate?
John: You can’t even access them without deepening, but specifically not just deepening in your self, not deepening in the powers of your self, but deepening in your humanness. If your sexual fields are opening it’s because you really are, in your life, being like a flower.
Q: And this is the state you are?
John: That isn’t for me to say. You can judge that for your self.
Q: You spoke about that it’s a must, that there will be integration between the self, the being in order for these sexual fields to open.
John: The sexual fields opening are dependent on you, in your humanness, flowering. As soon as that flowering isn’t free to occur in your self and in your life, the flowering ceases. So the flowering is unsustainable if the flowering cannot have your self and your life.
Q: Would there be fewer fields or would there be no fields at all?
John: Without your humanness and you flowering in them, there are no fields. You won’t be able to access them.
Q: So can you tell me what is humanness?
John: Your being present within delicate feeling. Humanness is fundamentally connective. When you have empathy, it isn’t because of your self. It’s because of your humanness. If you have empathy it’s because you’re in touch with your humanness. A sensitive self is sensitive to itself whereas even just a little bit of humanness that is free to flower within the self opens up a sensitivity that isn’t conditioned to the self. It’s a sensitivity that is connective everywhere within and everywhere outside of your self. Your humanness is the meaning, in your self, of you.
Q: You spoke about when a person integrates his self and his being, then the black dragon can appear in all its glory. I couldn’t understand the black dragon but I can share that after Tina’s meeting with you and after Barbara’s talk, the black dragon appeared in Tina’s way, in her movement, like I never saw before. It was clearly connecting to the fields of sexuality and it was almost not human. Very powerful, almost not woman, also. Is there anything that you can say about it?
John: Being awakened to the black dragon isn’t to do with the integration of one’s self. It doesn’t require an integrated self. It does require being drawn into your humanness and from within your humanness being drawn into your being and into the deeper levels of your being. As the deeper levels of the being are drawn up and as they come together within the resonance of the sexual fields, connected to your humanness, the power of the being awakens, the deeper powers of the being awaken and it is the resonance of the beyond that is prominent in the awareness of the black dragon within. Its purpose has to do with the beyond.
Q: I’m not sure I understand.
John: The awakening of the black dragon – the ever-so-deep black dragon of love – has to do with the beyond.
Q: But it moves through the sexual fields? What’s the connection between the black dragon and the sexual fields?
John: Its life is in the sexual fields, which doesn’t open without humanness opening and it isn’t sustainable without being that humanness in the self and in life.
I manifest that because of what I’m coming from and I sustain manifesting that because I’m being that from the innermost outwards and being that in my life. And what I’m being appeals to your humanness. What I’m being isn’t first appealing to your self. The way that I register to your self is cost. What I’m being appeals to your heart, to your humanness, and then deeper within than that, what I am being appeals to your being, and what I’m being moves your being, and as you keep opening to what moves your being, the deeper levels of your being can move and come together in the opening of your humanness which can not only bring up the ever-so-deep black dragon of love, but it also opens up your sexual fields: the deep, rich, goldenness of your sexuality.
Q: For that to manifest you have to be in your weakest weakness, right?
John: It’s being in your weakest weakness, you being at home in weakness, that opens you into your being and brings you into the deeper levels of your being.
Q: What is the connection between the weakest weakness and the orgasm of a man and a woman if there is a connection – and I believe there is – and if there is a difference between the two in that sense? And how it’s all connected to the sexual fields?
John: The orgasm brought on by the self separate from humanness and the depth of humanness has no depth, giving it its dissatisfaction. The orgasm doesn’t belong to the self. When the self has it without everything that’s deeper, there isn’t much there. It belongs to the heart, it belongs to all of the levels of humanness, and beyond that it really belongs to the being, and from there it belongs to the beyond. Ultimately, it has its reach through the heart into the humanness, into all of the being, and into the beyond, and with all of that reach it also has the expression of the movement of the heart, the movement and meaning of our humanness, all of our being, and the beyond.
Q: Is there a difference between men and women in that, in the orgasm; in the movement of the orgasm to the beyond, like the source of it and the movement of it?
Q: I’m asking because of the substance. The man’s orgasm is with substance and it feels to me that it comes from the beyond, the substance. It comes from the crown, through all the spheres, through the woman, back to the divine.
John: If a man is an opened flower: yes.
Q: The man brings some kind of quality of infinity.
John: An opened man, yes. But a man that is like a stamen without the rest of the flower is a man that is a little scary for any flower.
Q: You are an opened man. You are fully integrated. Your movement in that sense, through sexuality, through the calling, is the injection of greater reality to reality. There, here. Can you speak about that?
John: It’s my response to my heart, through my heart, into all of my humanness, into all of my being, into the beyond, right through the calling, into what is greater than reality, that brings that here. It isn’t what I do as a person. It isn’t what I do that brings it here.
Q: But it’s coming here through you because you are a person, because you are in the body.
John: It’s because of all that that I’m responding to that I’m being in my self, in person, in life. Without that embodiment all of the responsiveness has no root. The roots of all of that won’t grow. In that way, it isn’t the power of your awakening and the greatness of an awakening but rather how much you are being your awakening through your self, through your person and in life.
Q: It is landing here through you and it dissipates through us who are responding to you?
John: It’s dispersed into other human form through response, through your response: you responding to what you’re deeply knowing, your response to your deeper interior, your response to your heart, your humanness, your being and anything that you directly know of the beyond as you awaken to it.
Q: Do I need a mediator for that?
John: You need no mediator for you to live residing in your heart, in your humanness and in everything that you awaken to of your being. Without the movement of the calling, there is no response to the calling. And when the calling moves, when what is greater than reality moves into reality, it’s going to move landing and appealing to weakness, not to strength.
Q: But would it move without you?
John: It’s not going to move without a person.
Q: Would it move without you, John?
John: Ultimately, yes.
John: Because of what’s opening in others and their response, that’s possible.
Q: But unlikely.
John: Possible is pretty amazing. Without me being in response to all I know, I am of no use to the calling. I’m not needed. For what is greater than reality to come in to reality is only dependent on a person because of the depth of response to direct knowledge within that person.
Q: And there are endless ways of response. But would you say that the sexual fields are the most direct?
John: No. There’s nothing more direct than awareness, awareness one with knowing. There’s nothing more direct than oneness.
Q: If it’s not the deepest, what is the deepest? You say awareness, but …
John: There are levels to oneness. There’s nothing more direct than awareness one with knowing. Awareness one with knowing instead of being separate from knowing is oneness. For awareness to be that direct with knowledge, the knowing of the truth within, in form, means so much more than without form, which opens up greater levels of oneness. The more substantial the oneness, the more substance that it has, the more form that it has, the higher the level of oneness. The sustainability of oneness in the midst of form is oneness mastering that form.
The most powerful oneness is oneness embodied: oneness not just in the unseen but flourishing in the heart, which is what manifests the depth of humanness and flourishing in the self and in the person.
Q: Would you say that this oneness manifested in the body has a more feminine quality?
John: At first, yes. The true feminine, the initial levels of the being, is the first that comes into form in the self. The initial levels of the being are feminine. It’s no different for a man than it is for a woman. The initial entrance into the being is through openness and softness of heart. It’s very feminine. As you move deeper and deeper in response to what you know, as you awaken more and more to what’s deeper in your being, that eventually takes you into the deeper levels of your being that are increasingly masculine. They are all dependent on the surface levels of your being. It’s you coming into the surface levels of your being and that coming into your self that corrects your relationship with power. The initial levels of your being don’t give you power. They introduce you to being completely at rest within without any need or orientation to power. You come into the initial levels of your being through the laying down of your powers.
You come into your being by the petals of your humanness opening within your self. The last to open is the true masculine. The last to be revealed of all of the flowering of your humanness because of your being coming into your humanness, is the stamen, the very centre of the flower.
Q: This is where you reside? This is where you come from?
John: What I come from is older than flowers and older than the dirt that they grow in.
Q: Is it possible that you come from a place – it’s not a place – what you come from I’m not coming from?
John: What matters is that you are coming from the deepest within that you’ve awakened to. Whatever it is that’s beyond that doesn’t matter.
Q: John, where should I put my intention?
John: Let the very substance of intention – all of it – quietly lie down in your heart, which lets your humanness replace the space of intention, which heals your whole relationship with power.
It’s the beginning of a quality of life within that isn’t dependent on the self, for anyone. It’s the beginning of a quality of inward life that doesn’t pass away with dying. It’s the very beginning of life within that is everlasting. I have nothing else here to offer. That’s the beginning of it.
Q: What do you mean “the beginning of it”?
John: The beginning of what I offer is the very beginning of a quality of life within that is everlasting, that isn’t corruptible, that is direct, immediate, pure and real.
Q: The beginning is also in the sense that the continuation would be there?
John: The continuation of it isn’t a focus of time. It is greater depth of it. If everlasting quality of life within opens in you like a seed, that seed sprouting promises the whole tree.
Q: Does the seed care that it will be a tree?
Q: So why should I?
John: The seed knows it all. A seed doesn’t understand. The seed doesn’t see. It is all knowing. Give that seed ground within which to grow and it reveals, in its growth, all of that knowledge. Within that knowledge isn’t the need to grow, just like the grown tree has no need to continue. What it is isn’t dependent on it living. What a tree is dependent on – essentially dependent on – is essence of tree: treeness. It is treeness that the seed comes from. If this planet were to be obliterated, if it ceased to exist, treeness lives on. Humanness lives on. The self, the person, in all of its acquisition and development, separate from humanness, doesn’t live on.
Q: Treeness and humanness have no sexuality?
John: Here in form, yes.
Q: For me it seems so sexual.
John: That’s because it’s what your sexuality belongs to. There’s no meaning to sexuality without a depth of meeting and communion. It’s the meeting and the communion. You’re able to move in that without lack, in total fulfillment.
Q: When I make love, it’s not the body that makes love. That’s why I can’t understand this.
John: If you opened up into the power of your being, into the levels of your being, you can make love without anything.
Q: Yes. So that’s why, it doesn’t really matter actually. When I’m there I’ll tell you.
John: I’m looking forward to hearing from you!
Q: You have no doubt about what you say? Is there a possibility that you will not succeed in your purpose?
John: Not that I can see. I used to be amazed for decades that I even made it, when I would look back. When I would look back, I would see thousands and thousands of occurrences where I could have gone into distraction. If I would have, I wouldn’t be in this now.
Q: So you basically see the back, the history and you learn from it?
John: I’m no longer in wonderment that I made it, because I understand. When you pay for something with your whole existence over decades, it would cost you all of that to walk away from any of it and by then you’re made in form of all of that.