Q: My question is how to get to my next level of awareness. I've suffered a lot of pain this year and had an emergency operation. I didn't see how dangerous the situation was. I stayed in my pain and arrived at the hospital almost at the last moment. There is still scaffolding in my heart and I wish to come to a full realization of what happened, if needed, so that I can move on.
John: You don't need to understand what happened. You need to love. More than anything, you need to love. You need to be in your heart, and you need to come forward with your heart. When you are in your heart and you come forward, you love.
When you love because you're in your heart without any focus in your self, you are deepening into what is next. As you deepen into what is next without any kind of understanding, what is next opens. It opens into your heart and it moves. It moves as you love.
Q: I can feel when you're talking to me there's a lot of pain coming up in the heart.
John: That is you realizing where you haven't been, and that where you haven't been in your heart matters more than everywhere else that you have been. When you come back into your heart you experience it and you know it as goodness. When you come back into the deeper regions of your heart, that will make your whole heart ache and burn. When you begin to come back into the deeper regions of your heart, it hurts so good.
This doesn't take place without your response. It doesn't take place without your response to what you know in your heart. Don't be distracted by your understanding or your lack of understanding. Neither one answers you.
Now your seeing opens because you are directly responding. You're not relating to understanding or not understanding. You're responding directly to what you know more deeply in your heart, and it's all so different from what your self is like. When you're in that difference you see. You see differently. Your sense of reality is different. It isn't like the sense of reality that you experience in your self.
Right now, you just love that you know and that you see.
You are in what you were asking for in your heart.
Q: Yes. Yes, I can feel it. Thank you.
John: And you love … and you love.
