Q: Crying has been coming very easily lately, and I don’t know why. I know there is remorse about my past. I wanted to really look and know the truth, and a whole picture came, with an opening of my heart. I’m trying to be soft with the pain of it, but I don’t like seeing the results of my actions on my children and grandchildren. I’m trying to move on and accept it. What do you see in this?
John: The present isn’t real if it is not free to fully include the past. The past is such an important part of the present. The greater the difference between the present and the past, the more significant the barrier between conscious awareness and subconscious awareness.
The conscious awareness and the present is only as real as it is connected to where it came from. That brings not only your source right into conscious awareness, but also the whole of the past: the whole of everything, consciously welcome within the present.
When consciousness increases in the present, that causes such meaningful upheaval, always integrating every level that existed in the past that you had no conscious awareness of, re-discovering the present in the past.
As awareness, you cannot move through your own beingness without awakening to the beingness of time. When you are dwelling within the beingness of time, there is a living connectedness to the whole of time. Then, even time is fully, really you. Then there is knowing where you came from, what you came through, what you presently are in that, and within all of that, where it is that you are going.
Real purpose exists when time is not something that is partitioned within you, when time is not made up of fragmented solids but is the same as your own beingness. Awareness that is growing within itself is always increasingly knowing itself as the whole of time.
Time is the same being that you are. It is not about you opening your past, but your past really opening you: you letting your subconscious awareness freely open up your conscious awareness. Then, knowing your future opens you, as does knowing your past.
Q: What do you mean by “knowing your future?”
John: The beginning of knowing your future is you knowing the beingness of your future. That doesn’t give you understanding of your future; it intimately connects you with your future. Then you know your future as you do know your self, even if you presently do not understand your future or understand your self.
The beginning of knowing your self, the past or the future is you knowing the beingness of each.
Q: I feel some connection to what you are saying inasmuch as I know the outside world isn’t as interesting to me as it used to be. The inside is much more interesting. Is that linked to what you’re saying?
John: That’s the beginning of it. It is the interior that gives meaning to the exterior. The exterior does also give meaning to the interior, but it is very easy to get lost in that. Within each there is the natural swinging of a pendulum, the momentum of realization: first of one’s exterior existence and then, if there is realness, also of one’s interior existence.
Each time that there’s movement into the one and then into the other, there is an integrating of the one from the other. Slowly, the two become inseparable … until there is no longer a difference.