Q: When I was a child I had the wish to dissolve into spaciousness, and I couldn’t find any purpose of why having these limits. In this room of spaciousness which is everything and everywhere, why do I have to have this body?

John: So that you can materialize that spaciousness.

Q: But how? When I meet other people this door opens so easy and so quick. It’s always there. When this door opens I don’t want to do anything more; just be there and not move anymore, not speak anymore. Just be. How can I survive not moving anymore, not doing anything anymore?

John: What you’re realizing is your own beingness, and within your being you have different streams of being and different depths of streams. You have different levels. The deeper that you go within, the more that your own being is not like your self. The deeper that you go within, the more of a disparity that there is, a difference between what your being is like and what your self is like. The opportunity that you have in having a body and in having a self is to manifest these different levels of your own being; manifesting your being on the level of your self and, while you’re in a body, giving you the opportunity to make your being physical.

When you experience the movement of your own being, and you let that come up into your heart and you let that also come up into your face, which is a natural movement, it also makes your self vulnerable, particularly when you’re with someone who isn’t receptive to what you’re coming from of your heart and your being, and if they’re not receptive to their own being. For you to be manifest in your heart and that being visible in your face and available up in your face, you’ll realize how much of your self isn’t like that yet. But if you continue to come from your heart and your being, you’ll be manifesting your being within levels of physicality that your being doesn’t have.

Q: How can I do that – dedicate my life to something completely and to focus on the highest goals in the business world? I don’t know how to combine them.

John: It doesn’t matter much what you do in this world. It doesn’t matter much how you develop your self in this world. The real depth of meaning in being in a body doesn’t come from your experience of your self. It comes from you being in your heart, and from there you having access to your own being and manifesting your being within your heart and within your self. The real value to your self isn’t first your experience of it and that you’re able to develop your self; it is that within your self you’re able to manifest your heart and your being in whatever you do.

When you move your self and develop your self in this world, you experience your self. That experience is as much of a potential distraction as it is a real opportunity, the opportunity for you to make your being as visible and material as your self is, but as you develop your self and as you move your being into your self, you have an experience of your self in whatever you do and in whichever direction you move. The distractions are endless. There isn’t a wrongness in experiencing your self and in developing your self. The potential distraction in it is that you’ll give the focus of your life to your self and how you experience your self. As you move in such a direction, you’ll easily become more and more separate from your heart and from your own being.

Excel in your self and in your life, but not at any expense to your heart and to your own being. Any kind of excelling in your life and any kind of development of your self all belongs to your being. As you are being what you realize in your heart of your own being in the midst of your self, your self slowly becomes the same. It isn’t your own being that is meant to change; it’s your self that is meant to change.

It doesn’t matter much what you do in your life. It does matter that you’re being the same as your own being in the midst of your self and in all of your life. Then for you to develop your self and to be in this life, you are manifesting your being in all of your self and in all of your living. The meaning within your self, it doesn’t come from your self. It comes from your own heart and, deeper than that, it comes from your own being.

What matters most in your life is that you are opening and softening in your heart while you are in your self, moving your self, and sharing your self with others. If there isn’t the openness and softness of heart that’s present, then you’re really not meeting with others. You’re not really seen by others and you’re not really seeing others. Your most basic beingness that is first accessible in your heart is openness and softness of heart.

Q: Opportunities are popping up in my life. My professor came to me and said, “Okay, you want to make a PhD?” and I feel opportunities are there for a reason. I don’t know whether opportunities are there for testing me or for bringing me on the path I should walk in my life.

John: It doesn’t matter much. It really doesn’t matter much what you do. What really matters is that you are being openness and softness of heart in the midst of whatever you do. Then it is openness and softness that is engaged in a PhD or in something else, but the real purpose of it isn’t the fulfillment of your self. It’s the opportunity of your being to become manifest within your self in whatever you do.

As you exercise your own being in any particular direction, you get to know your own being. It’s by being it that you begin to consciously realize your being. The more that you move as your own being within your self, the more you’re moving in something of your self that isn’t like your own being, so being what your being is like in the midst of that discrepancy requires a greater depth of beingness for you to manifest your being. As you’re exercising your own being, manifesting your being in your self in whatever direction you move in, you not only get to know your own being; you begin to realize deeper levels of knowing, within; deeper levels of you knowing meaning, within.

As you move as meaning, you realize what you know and you realize how to discern what you know as you move. It doesn’t matter much what you do, and as you begin to realize your own being and you realize deeper and deeper levels of real knowledge, knowing what you really are, discerning the different levels of knowing within, the more that you have in your life to exercise that knowing. Then it isn’t just manifesting your own being, but discerning what direct knowledge you come into, within, so that you are as awareness moving by knowing, and not just moving because of sensation in your self; moving as knowing in the midst of all sensation.

The more you move as a being within your self, the more you’ll be discerning, as awareness, what you know the truth of. It’s the development of that discernment that really matters. The more that you develop your self, the more you’ll be developing that discernment of how to know within and what you know within.

When you don’t know what direction to move in, then it doesn’t matter what direction you move in. What matters is that you’re being your own being in the midst of your self moving in whatever direction. It’s as you move in a direction that you begin to realize your own being, its streams, how they move, and how you discern what you know in the midst of those streams as you move in your self.

Q: How can I develop this and integrate this into my daily life? How can I do that?

John: By opening and softening in your heart, despite what you’re experiencing. In your self you’ll experience different kinds of weather. What matters is that you are opening and softening in your heart regardless of the weather in your self. What you develop then is all-weather beingness: you, opening and softening in your heart when your self feels good and when your self doesn’t feel good.

The more that you as awareness open, the more that your heart opens, and the more that your heart opens, the more that your own being moves. The movement of your being isn’t like the movement of your self. It doesn’t have the level of form that your self has. The movement of your being has all of the meaning that your self doesn’t yet have. What gives meaning to your self isn’t the pursuit of meaning in your self and it isn’t in the development of your self. What gives meaning to your self is your own being moving through your heart and into all of your self. It’s the movement of your own being that manifests meaning directly into your self. The manifestation of your own being within your self is what gives meaning to your self.

Without the movement of your own being within your self, the distractions come easily in using your self to pursue meaning. The pursuit of meaning with the use of your self in moving in life isn’t what gives meaning to your self, although it will feel like it. But in the pursuit of meaning through your self, you’ll always be living in the future, looking for something new, looking for something next. As soon as you have the meaning that you were looking for, you’ll be on to the next meaning, whereas when your being moves through your heart and in your self, meaning is manifest in the present. You won’t be in the pursuit of meaning but in the present manifestation of meaning. It’s a different relationship with meaning.

In this way, instead of filling your self with experiences of meaning that you have by moving your self, your self is filled with meaning because you’re being what your own being is in the midst of your self. Then experiences in your self can come and go, but meaning manifest in your self doesn’t come and go. It’s a constant. But if you are in the pursuit of meaning by satisfying something in your self, then you only have the experience of meaning in your self as long as you are coming into what you’re looking for in your life, and you’ll always need more and more: pursuing meaning instead of directly being meaning. Instead of finding meaning in your life, you’ll be meaning from within, in the midst of your self in your life, manifesting meaning instead of looking for and finding meaning.

The manifestation of meaning is in the movement of your own being. In the movement of your own being, streams of meaning from within move freely in your self as you move in your life. Instead of seeing opportunities for your self, you will be seeing as a being in the midst of your self in whatever you do. Then the more that you do in your self, the more you’ll be realizing your own being.

When you begin to see the difference of you moving as meaning because your being moves, or in you within your self having meaning because of seizing opportunities that promise meaning, when you begin to see the difference, as that becomes clear to you, then respond to those opportunities in your life that help you the most in moving as your own being. If something makes a little bit more of a difference in you manifesting your own being, favour that direction in your life. If your doing within your self and your life focuses the movement of your own being more, favour that.

You’ll begin to see more and more what favours the manifestation of your own being in how you move your self, instead of favouring a particular development of your self, because of an opportunity that you can see. When you move as a being within your self, your self will develop anyway. To manifest your own being in your self also develops your self, but then the development of your self occurs because of the manifestation of your being.

Q: Does the being and the self become one at one point?

John: Slowly, yes. As your self becomes the same as your own being because you are being what your being is like in the midst of your self, the two become one. At first the oneness is not between your being and your self, but the oneness is between you and your being.

Awareness is what you are, and as awareness you can be taken by what you experience in your self or you can be taken by your own being. When as awareness you are taken by your own being, you are one with your own being. But if you’re taken by how you experience your self at the expense of your own being, you’ll become one with your self but separate from your own being, so a superficial oneness without a depth of oneness. The depth of oneness comes from you, awareness, being one with your own being and moving as that in the midst of your self, accomplishing material oneness. The material oneness occurs as your self changes and is transformed by you being one with your own being in the midst of your self.

That oneness between you, awareness, and your own being matters more than anything material in your self and in your life. And it matters. It also matters for this oneness of you and your own being to become material. It’s what you have a self and a life for: for oneness to become material; for oneness to have the level of form that you have in your self, in your person and in your life.

You were able to see before. Now you see more, not because of what I’m saying. You are seeing more because we are meeting not as selves, but we are meeting as beings. As your seeing opens because you are meeting as a being, you perceive reality differently. You perceive a deeper level of reality, a level of reality that doesn’t pertain to your self and to your life but does directly relate to your own being, which brings your being up into your heart and up into your self.