605 – The Cost of Cutting Yourself Off from Others
How can you be around people you care for, but don’t agree with? Dissociation only manifests more separation, and John shares how to stay connected.
Q: My question is what is your definition of love and how we can feel immersed in it?
John: First, love is not an action. It isn’t something that you can actually do, and love is also not a feeling. As soon as you are quieted within, as soon as you are deeper than what would appear as any doing of love, any action, your perception of love’s action, as soon as you are quieter within than any feeling of love, you come into the substance within of love.
The deep, inner substance of love is you, and you can’t be in what love is – which is the same as what you really are – unless you are free of the doing of love, the actions of love toward others and also of others toward you. So you are just profoundly at rest within, not doing anything to be.
The substance of love, within, as soon as you’re there directly nurtures you and that’s without you doing something for it. It isn’t there because of an action. It isn’t there because of a feeling. It’s there because you are truly and fundamentally rested in it. It’s your home. You being that will change your actions. It will change your thinking. It will change your feeling. In that change, what comes out of you toward others and toward your circumstances is this substance that you’re rested in, this substance within that directly nurtures you. That’s going to come out of you toward everything. It’s a flow of being. Love is a flow of being. It’s a rested, nurturing flow of you that isn’t held together by anything.
When you lie down to go to sleep, you return to what you really are and you return to love. It’s not an action. It isn’t held together by thought. It’s not a feeling. It’s you. As you near the tipping point to sleep your past falls away. All action and feeling, thought and will, fall away. Your day passes away. All your relationships pass away. Your whole life passes away and all that remains is you. It’s so profoundly natural to you and nurturing to you, that as you reach that tipping point to sleep you don’t miss your past, your personality, your self, your life, your relationships. You’re returning to being what you really are, not dependent on anything that you’re used to. You return to being love.
You’re able to be this deep inner substance of you in the midst of thinking and feeling, will and emotion, in the midst of anything of life that engages your self, that affects your self. In whatever of life touches into your self and moves your self, this deep inner substance of you that you are at the tipping point to sleep fills your self, so it isn’t your sense of self that has you. It isn’t your day, your past or your future that has you. It’s this deep, inner substance of you that has you regardless of anything that takes place in your day. So it really is what you really are that fills your day: deep, inner substance of you.
You being what you really are, you being this deep inner substance of love, that’s your life. It’s your whole inner life that fills all of your life. It isn’t an action, but if you’re being it, it comes out naturally in all of your actions. It isn’t a feeling, but when you’re being it you can feel it.
605 – The Cost of Cutting Yourself Off from Others
How can you be around people you care for, but don’t agree with? Dissociation only manifests more separation, and John shares how to stay connected.
604 – Broken Relationship: The Kindness of a Hundred-Year Perspective
Imagine looking at the the pain of a lost relationship from the kindness of a hundred-year perspective. New possibilities will open, and John explains.
603 – Your Deepest, Most Delicate Belonging
The sense of entering the second half of life is sharpening this person’s focus on what matters most, and raising some fundamental questions.
602 – Honest to the Core: Oneness in the Midst of Separation
A deep dive into the power of profound honesty to make oneness as reachable as going to sleep – without actually falling asleep.
601 – Don’t Go Figure, Go Sweetly Within
Sometimes, figuring things out doesn’t work in the way we expect. Dissolving core patterns is one example of this, and John explains why.
600 – Out of Your Comfort Zone, Into Your Heart
A perplexing and destructive habit is the focus of this dialogue. What could be so threatening about being touched by goodness?
“My sole purpose is to be, in life, what we are after we’ve died. Through openness and softness of heart and core-splitting honesty at any personal cost, I live as that while actualizing the same in others I meet. I am available as a resource for anyone who recognizes and values this way of being.”
– John de Ruiter
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