Questions About Feelings and Emotions
“When you’re sailing you feel the whole boat, you feel all the tensions and you’re also in touch with the pressure on the keel.
You have a sense of all the stresses within the entire boat, including the stresses that are unseen beneath the water because the keel registers into the rest of the boat.”
Latest YouTube Video on Feelings and Emotions
The Inner Quietude of You
January 22, 2022 @ 11:00am
An unfamiliar depth of love has opened in this person. It feels scary and likely to change her life. What's happening and where will it take her?
Latest Podcast on Feelings and Emotions
John de Ruiter Podcast 599
Parenting: What Your Child Really Wants from You
December 8, 2000 @ 12:00pm
John responds to a mother's wish to understand why her young daughter still seems unhappy, despite her best efforts at parenting.
Latest Transcript on Feelings and Emotions
Young People Speak With John: On Fear And Anger
April 14, 2023
Two young people put their questions to John at an open mic:
Q1: What is fear?
John: When you focus on something that’s not nurturing and real inside, then you separate from what’s nurturing and real. As soon as you’re separate from what’s nurturing and real, you’ll fear because the nurture and the real isn’t there, so what you’re left with is lack that’s represented in your emotions.
When you have fear that means that you’ve created some distance from what’s nurtureful inside, such as a restedness, a really quiet okayness, a tenderness. Go away from tenderness inside and you’ll fear. Inside of the tenderness there is no fear.
Q2: How do I handle my anger?
John: In one way the feeling of anger is really good because it quickly tells you that you’re believing something that’s not true. So as soon as you feel angry, let go of everything that you’re thinking until your heart becomes open and settled again. As soon as your heart is opened and settled again, you’re really there. While you’re angry your heart is closed and hard, and you’re no longer really there in your heart.
When you’re angry, you’re caught in something that isn’t real. As soon as you’re angry, let go of what you’re thinking and what you’re feeling. As soon as you do, your heart opens again. When your heart is open, instead of being upset, you’ll love.
When you’re angry, what that really means is that you’ve tricked your self. You’ve tricked your self into believing something that isn’t true and that isn’t real.
