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John de Ruiter Transcripts

Mined from our archive of more than two decades of teachings, JdR Gems is a sparkling collection of conversations with John, mostly not published before and much too good to miss. They range from tiny tips for everyday life to revealing our deepest destiny, and come from recordings made anywhere John has met with us, including international meetings, livestreams, camping trips, social gatherings and the Jewel Café.

Two young people put their questions to John at an open mic:

Q1: What is fear?

John: When you focus on something that’s not nurturing and real inside, then you separate from what’s nurturing and real. As soon as you’re separate from what’s nurturing and real, you’ll fear because the nurture and the real isn’t there, so what you’re left with is lack that’s represented in your emotions.

When you have fear that means that you’ve created some distance from what’s nurtureful inside, such as a restedness, a really quiet okayness, a tenderness. Go away from tenderness inside and you’ll fear. Inside of the tenderness there is no fear. 

Q2: How do I handle my anger?

John: In one way the feeling of anger is really good because it quickly tells you that you’re believing something that’s not true. So as soon as you feel angry, let go of everything that you’re thinking until your heart becomes open and settled again. As soon as your heart is opened and settled again, you’re really there. While you’re angry your heart is closed and hard, and you’re no longer really there in your heart. 

When you’re angry, you’re caught in something that isn’t real. As soon as you’re angry, let go of what you’re thinking and what you’re feeling. As soon as you do, your heart opens again. When your heart is open, instead of being upset, you’ll love.

When you’re angry, what that really means is that you’ve tricked your self.  You’ve tricked your self into believing something that isn’t true and that isn’t real. 

Latest Transcript

Young People Speak With John: On Fear And Anger

April 14, 2023

Two young people put their questions to John at an open mic: Q1: What is fear? John: When you focus on something that’s not nurturing and real inside, then you separate from what’s nurturing and real. As soon as you’re separate from what’s nurturing and real, you’ll fear because the nurture and the real isn’t there, so what you’re...

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Two young people put their questions to John at an open mic: Q1: What is fear? John: When you focus on something that’s not nurturing and real inside, then you separate from what’s nurturing and real. As soon as you’re separate from what’s nurturing and real, you’ll fear because
Q: My question is about how to deal with pride, how to dissolve it without dismissing what I am. John: Mark your words. Take care in what you use words for, and why. Don’t say things just because you can. If you have a pride issue that you’re dealing
Q: I’d like to ask about stress and tension in my daily life, and about relaxation and softening. I get very busy but feel the call towards softening. Listening to your words makes me feel so happy, and that part of me is more connected to softness. How can
Q: I have a longing for wholeness and integration, and an awareness of a lot of suffering and chaos caused by self-avoidance. I know there’s massive anger sitting in my gut. How can it be integrated into my being, and how can that become stable in the midst of
Q: My question is about speech because I feel it carries a lot of responsibility. I find what you say both clear and impeccable – a source of inspiration. Words can carry so much wisdom and love but they can also hurt. I sometimes notice that energy leaks through
Q: I have disputes with my mom’s partner. I’m often angry and it’s hard in my heart. We get on each other’s nerves. I get very worked up and don’t know what to do or how to calm down when that’s happening. There are lots of situations where I
Q1: When I’m feeling lonely, I often find diversions – watching movies or doing housework – to keep my self occupied. Can you say something about this? John: If you’re lonely, it’s because you are coldly alone. Q1: Coldly alone? John: Yes, instead of warmly alone. As soon as

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