JDR Podcast 241
Male and Female Sexuality: Streams and Pools in the Land of Love
What is the deepest, truest place for a man in lovemaking? What is the real value of that union between a man and a woman? A dive into deeper sexuality, this talk will take you all the way to where man and woman are the same, and then all the way back up into the surface, where lovely differences flower in a way that isn’t possible without it being from the innermost outwards. Love with forms, all of them. It’s magical and the result is magical. It’s a love absorption.
“You’re able to read and move as a being with her, without relying on anything in your self, anything physical, anything on the surface, and there you realize in your relationship the direct movement of the bond: two beings together.”
—John de Ruiter Podcast 241
Transcript from this Talk
From the Edmonton, Canada Meetings on April 10, 2017 Evening
Q: I really want to ask: what is man’s place in that, as far as sexuality moving, as far as that kind of power moving and that kind of beauty and that kind of fire, what is the deepest, truest place for a man in that?
Like a deep, quiet lake inviting and giving accurate reflection, mirroring back what would be normally not easily seen, and then mirroring back what is unseen.
Q: And if there’s so much power and so much movement in a woman when it’s coming out, does that also mirror back power, or is it really, really still?
It may not look the same, but the real reflection back comes from the deeper levels right through to the surface.
Q: You talk about body and it’s so anatomical, like the V region. It feels like I don’t have the body response to adequately move back the beauty and the power. It’s still, and I wonder if that’s a misunderstanding of stillness?
Yes, but it’s not at all bad. The goodness within the misunderstanding is that you are deeply listening.
Q: Is there some active role in engaging my body more, in filling in?
You can, but that’s not really it. It’s really all about your deeper levels reading her and finding her.
Q: Seeing her deeper levels is really where it’s at. Finding my deeper levels doesn’t seem to come up with anything unless I’m seeing her deeper levels moving with whatever is outside of me. Is there a finding of my deeper levels?
It’s by yours that you can even see hers.
Q: Is there an absolute right into the deeper levels or is it a gradual development?
Use what you’re in now for you to be with her differently later.
Q: What I’m in now seems fairly equalized in my whole body and in more than just my physical body.
From what you’re in now, be moved by any little bit of this in her.
Q: There’s just so much more. Does a man know where a woman’s going when she’s blazing, in a still way?
Q: What is the real value of that union between a man and a woman?
Two beings moving together without the physical, so that you don’t need interesting conversation, you don’t need to engage what you would normally refer to as ‘quality time’. Relate to the subtle streams within that move in the midst of what you experience together as quality time, and then relate directly to those streams without being dependent on quality time, without being dependent on conversation or the interaction of selves and personality until you’re able to read and move as a being with her without relying on anything in your self, anything physical, anything on the surface, and there you realize in your relationship the direct movement of the bond: two beings together. Perfect that without using anything on the surface, without having to use words, without having to engage a touch, a look, or a smile, and you realize that any touch of meaning that you’ve had though a smile, words, a touch, a look, was all about these streams. It’s the movement of being within the surface that did it.
In differentiating that from anything on the surface, then move that physically. Then instead of just moving as a being, as a being you have a body and your movement as a being registers in all of your body, levels of your body, finding the same in her. There, both unseen reality and seen reality move as one: as one in you and as one with her.
You need no prior experience in this. You don’t need your past or your patterns in this. You don’t need your personal thoughts and feelings in this. The simplest is that you, awareness, need your heart and anything deeper.
Q: While you’re speaking, I’m so aware that I’m reaching for this absolute truth. And it’s clear that as I go and do this, there will be a lot of learning.
If you want to get right to it, then without any learning. This movement isn’t dependent on your self; it’s dependent on you as a being.
Q: There’s this knowing that doesn’t have the kind of form that I can see to easily describe, but I know it: it’s beneath flow.
Q: However, flow is quite helpful.
And it will distract you. The flow is real, but it’s really about what makes the flow.
Q: I know that. That’s why I’m here. It’s going to seem quite non-eventful, and yet I really know what’s beneath the flow. Is there something quite eventful just beneath the non-eventful? And I know that there’s so much more. And I want to go right to it, and I’m asking for help.
Put differently, you need your V for this, and it doesn’t have a location and all wired-up through the nervous system like it is with her. The fullness of it in you isn’t locational; it’s evenly distributed throughout your whole body. It comes all together electromagnetically: thousands and thousands of little points, all connecting with a deeper-level current.
Q: Does it help to relate to her V or is it more just to relate directly to her?
Her. And as she connects through her V to you, keep connecting to her.
Q: That union between man and woman, that place is well beneath the flow. What’s happening there?
Two sexless beings moving through sexuality, creating movement and manifestation that beings without a body aren’t able to. Your bodies are different. Your beings are not. And the differences in your bodies both are able to be, even though there are anatomical differences forming not just two different selves but two different energies because of the anatomical differences. The deeper the levels that you both go, the more that your Vs are the same and they move the same way. Think anatomically and you miss it.
Q: How does arousal, especially with women, play into this?
It isn’t limited in the way that you’ve experienced it.
Q: I can see movement in women. This blazing, is that a deep level of womanness? Is that only in women or do men also ultimately have that, as well?
The more opened that the two are, all the way through the physical into the deeper levels, then the truth of the sameness manifests right through the surface, which means that you have everything she has. It’s all there in your body despite the anatomical differences you see. It’s just not found in you the way that you see in her.
Q: Ultimately, does it go way down into two sexless beings merging?
Q: And then does it come back into two…
…different bodies that are actually the same. But that isn’t realizable without both all opened up.
Q: Is there objective in that or is there just also lovely difference? Way down maybe no difference and then back to the surface, lovely difference.
All of it. Don’t be distracted by the lovely differences.
Q: Meaning there is lovely difference on the surface, but ultimately…
And deeper, and deeper, until you come into sameness. And the sameness is able to come right up into the lovely differences, making these differences flower in a way that isn’t possible without it being from the innermost, outwards. The manifestation of it is flowered sameness and flowered differences.
Q: Is there a real door in the physical that is well worth opening? That you bring it back into the physical?
The physical belongs to this and is only really opened by this.
Q: Is there a pull in this towards the physical?
Not a pull; a pouring. A pouring into the physical.
Q: There is an awareness to open the book right up. Such as, why two beings would come together?
Two beings only come together.
Q: What do you mean by that?
Two beings, not at all guided by your selves, only come together. Without self-guidance, there is really only one. There are really streams and streams and pools and pools of sameness. Even the stillness of the pools have their own movement, and you have your multi-leveled bodies to beautifully, in form, register every little bit of it. The only real limiter is on the level of awareness orientation.
Q: Is that anything for me to be very concerned about? Or is it more just go with the knowing I’ve got into what is?
Yes. That tiny little bit of concern covers up most of the direct knowledge.
Q: How do I cover that one little place that seems like it wants to learn?
You can learn and, as sweet as the learning is, it’s so slow. Begin with what you directly know. Turn into it in such a way that even your self is taken, and your self will open like a being.
Q: The way to do that is to relate from, move from the way of awareness that can do that without any concern for my self.
Yes, and without any use of your self.
Q: When you say that, there’s this wanting to check whether I’m using my self or not. It isn’t so clear.
If you check, it’s your self that takes you.
Q: The self just seems blended into that. I’m not even so sure I know exactly what a self is.
You do without the blend as you near sleep. As you near sleep, your seen existence in your self and as a person beautifully becomes like a vapor.
Q: I’m aware of being quite aware at that place, like self-awareness. It’s vast and it’s open, but I know I’m there.
That’s it. As you tip into sleep, you’re not self-aware. You are really there. Without the use of everything else that you’re accustomed to, without the use of your seen existence, and that is your real way in your self. Instead of tipping into sleep, it’s like you, really there, tipping into your self until you are really there in all of your self and, as that, you’re able to be your self without separating from you, without the use of your self really there.
Q: Is there an active engagement with your self or is it more like hopeful thinking that at some point your self will just become what you are?
If you’re being what you really are in it, it will become like you, but there will still be a difference of form. But the way that you move as awareness in your self that has become just like you, that movement is developmental and that movement stays with you after you’ve died. There, instead of just what you really are being death-proof, who you really are becomes just as death-proof. If the who becomes like the what, when you die the who stays with the what; the who doesn’t end. If the who hasn’t been integrated by what you really are, when you die the who dies also.
Q: So is there an active engagement between the what and the who?
There’s a participation of awareness in the who, awareness in the what, and the alchemy of the self. It’s a little like two babies loving each other.
Q: You mean like beingness aware relating to innocent form, not really knowing, but it’s filled with magic so it’s not like this checklist of what to do.
It’s filled with magic. It’s magical and the result is magical.
Q: It’s kind of like really living. Like the two babies: beautiful form and beautiful formless.
Each being absorbed by the other. It’s a love absorption.
Q: So that union between man and woman: what happens with this after you die, that union between two beings?
The bond won’t end. The bond of beings is incorruptible. Even if both persons corrupt themselves, after they’ve died the bond beautifully remains, undiminished.
Q: Is there something to do together in this bonding, in this?
Yes. Love with forms, all of them. With all of the open levels of thought and feeling, will and emotion, and how all of those opened levels are opened in the physical, that you move together in all of these opened bodies. If you get a little distracted or sidetracked, the touchstone together is dearness. If dearness is enough between the two of you, it’s never not there.
Q: There are all these crucial points that keep coming in. Purity of heart, that really, that’s it. In this union between a man and a woman or this union between two babies, there’s this ultimate knowing to be completely true, and lovingly integrate. If you could call this land, like of lakes and ponds, is that land purity of heart and the calling is like…?
That land is your being. Your ticket to all of that land is purity of heart. Purity of heart is awareness and knowing within, awareness and direct knowledge, one. When awareness separates a little bit from direct knowledge, then in the heart there’s a little split. The first seen form that separation shows is in the heart; it shows as a little bit of being closed and hard. Open and soften, and you are back as one.
Q: In lovemaking, it’s magically two beings, present. But there can be this tendency to strive to integrate or to do something important, and I know something of more, but I know to marry that to something so pure and so small and so true, and so like the way a baby would see it.
Then you know, so you’ve got the code. You know the code and you are free to be that code.
Q: It seems like I have one code that really is true in the most dear, pure way, just so nurturing and I just know to lie down and love that. And the other code is piercing. How to merge those two?
Completely on the terms of the code that you know isn’t going to die. And you can enjoy and love that the other kind of code that you know is going to die, you don’t need.
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