599 – Parenting: What Your Child Really Wants from You
John responds to a mother’s wish to understand why her young daughter still seems unhappy, despite her best efforts at parenting.
Q: I have a question about sexual energy. I notice being with people that it comes up quite often, and I wonder if I’m using it to separate myself because it comes up and something in me doesn’t want it so I can shut myself off. I don’t know if the energy is a covering for being, so why am I scared of it?
John: Because it feels bigger than you. Sexual energy doesn’t separate you from being. Using sexual energy to get something within or resisting sexual energy: that separates you from being. Being in it in whichever way it seems to come up without using it for yourself or resisting it, without being ashamed of it or wanting more: that’s being clean in it.
Q: What is happening when I feel it coming towards me but I don’t feel it or want it, I wonder if there’s an element of control, controlling people, or is it just something coming from me that I’m shutting off from?
John: When there’s any kind of wanting or not wanting, that is you being controlling. Using your power is manifested in either wanting or not wanting. Being in your power is when you’re in the midst of your sexual energy and you’re doing nothing with it. When you’re being in it and doing nothing with it then you are integrating your power. When you are doing something with that sexual energy, then you’re giving your power away to that sexual energy. Then you’re making it bigger than you. Then instead of it just being there with you in it, you’re adding personal focus to it, turning it into something that it’s not.
Q: I don’t know why I feel my heart contracting.
John: Because you fear being in your sexual energy without doing anything with it. That to you feels too big: it is just right. Being in it, as is, feels too big because you’re used to either using it or resisting it, whichever one serves your interest best at the time. Neither one of them is what you know. What you actually know is to be in it without doing anything with it, then as it is doing something to you, this is integrating that. It is integrated sexual energy that turns you into a woman. Avoiding such integration keeps you from being a woman.
Q: Yeah, I feel that, thank you
John: Let your sexual energy very gracefully mold you into what a woman is without using any of it for yourself, which would make you coarsely masculine. Your sexual energy brings out your femininity until you use it for yourself. Then it goes the other way. You can give it away as an expression, but only when you honestly know to: not because you would want to and not ever because someone else wants it – only when you honestly, to the core, cleanly know too. It’s not yours to give away; you are accountable to be in it cleanly. Enjoy being accountable to it. That turns you into a woman. Few females will develop into real women because of using sexual energy instead of integrating sexual energy. Anything that you use or resist becomes distorted.
Q: And when the fear comes up, just stay open.
John: Regardless of what the energy seems to be doing within you or to you, being in your sexual energy without doing anything with it; not facing the fear, but facing yourself. When you face yourself this way, there’s nectar. Within your sexual energy, face yourself without needing to do anything – just being in it. When you’re doing something with your sexual energy that makes you masculine, tough and manipulative. You may make it look feminine but it’s not.
599 – Parenting: What Your Child Really Wants from You
John responds to a mother’s wish to understand why her young daughter still seems unhappy, despite her best efforts at parenting.
598 – The Person, the Self and the Being: Identifying the Many Levels of You (Part 2)
This dialogue is a continuation of last week’s podcast 597. John speaks about what ego is, the power we have to create mystery to conceal what is clear, and what takes us deeper than personal integrity.
597 – The Person, the Self and the Being: Identifying the Many Levels of You (Part 1)
Person, self, being … what’s the difference and what is real? Using different analogies, John explains how our different levels connect and shares the code to being what we really are.
596 – Beyond Sadness and Pain: Happy Without a Reason
John reveals the source of the deep well of sadness and pain this person carries, and shares how she can reconnect with her original happiness.
595 – When a Crumb of Truth in Your Heart is Your Home
John responds to a spiritual dilemma: a desperate longing for realization, coupled with the fear of nothingness that seems to come with it.
594 – Fully Present in Your Body, Fully Present in Your Heart
Closing down to the experience of vulnerability can mean dissociating from the body. John shares a simple way to become more present however uncomfortable we feel.
“My sole purpose is to be, in life, what we are after we’ve died. Through openness and softness of heart and core-splitting honesty at any personal cost, I live as that while actualizing the same in others I meet. I am available as a resource for anyone who recognizes and values this way of being.”
– John de Ruiter
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