JdR Podcast 378

From Male Identity to Transformed Masculinity

We all know there's a female cycle, but is there also a male cycle? In this talk, John explains what opens the deeper levels of the man, what maleness is, and what enables the balancing of male and female energies.

"What fulfils the man is you being what you really are, a being, in the midst of the man that’s there, the self that’s there."

—John de Ruiter

Podcast Transcript

With John de Ruiter from the March 22, 2020, Edmonton, Canada Event

Q: Hello John. I want to ask you some questions about maleness. As we know, there is a cycle in women, the monthly cycle, and I wanted to ask if there is something like a male cycle. Can you please speak on that?

John: What engages a deeper male cycle is you, as a person, in your self, no longer cycling male, no longer identifying with the male feeling, no longer being male, or in your identity being a man. The manness, the male, is there. It’s free to be there, just as it is, without you being that. Then you are what you really are, which is neither man nor male, there quietly within the male, within the man, which engages the opening of the male, the opening of the man.

Q: So it’s simple focused awareness, presence?

John: A little bit. It’s you, awareness, gentled and quieted in your heart, and it isn’t focused by you, a man, a person, a self. It’s just you gentled and quieted within your heart, and all of that takes place within the environment of the male, the man. There’s nothing sweeter in a man than a man just gentled within, and not being a man.

A man being a man is the makings of a jerk. It’s just you, gentled and quieted within, in the midst of what maleness or what manness happens to be there, that opens you and frees you from the maleness and the man, which allows, enables, the manness, the maleness to open into its deeper levels.

The man isn’t able to open that. It’s you being openness, within the environment of the man that opens it. So it’s organic, and it isn’t with purpose. As soon as you give it purpose, you’re being more sophisticated as a man, and you’re not being what you really are.

Q: So the beingness has no male or female qualities?

John: That’s right. Beingness has feminine energy and masculine energy, but it doesn’t move as manness or womanness.

The initial levels of the being are feminine in energy, such as okayness, openness, softness, and it’s all without the movement of any kind of power. The deeper levels of the being start to open up in a masculine energy, which also includes more power. But the entrance to the masculine energy of the being, the deeper levels of the being, comes through the initial levels of the being, which is feminine: openness, softness, and without any power. So in coming into your being, that first comes by you balancing in your whole relationship to power, which means you surrendering your power: giving away your power to openness and to softness of heart.

Q: Including sexual power?

John: Yes.

Q: I love your “Penis Mind” talk. I was listening to it. It’s so rich, and it’s so helpful to me. For me, I’m really there now where I lose my identity as a man. But a compass in me is knowing that behind that gate, there is something greater and softer and bigger.

John: It isn’t really so much that you’re losing your identity as a man. It’s really that you don’t need your identity as a man.

What fulfils the man is you being what you really are, a being, in the midst of the man that’s there, the self that’s there. There’s no focus on the man, the self; really, it’s just you, there. That’s what opens the self, opens the man.

See you later.

Q: Bye. Thank you.

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