Q: I told you about the experience I had which took me into the centre of something, as if I were a magnet. That starts to happen when I’m in that solidity of knowing. Is it to just be in that solidity?
John: Yes. Then you are responding to meaning without needing to use your forms. When you’re responding to meaning, then meaning responds to you. Meaning responds to meaning. The experience of that, in the midst of your self, is oneness.
Q: Will that change my self then?
John: A little bit. Where it really begins to change your self is when you’re being that in the midst of an experience that isn’t like your awakening. The greater the pressure you’re in, the more your self changes. The greater the cost, the greater the change.
Q: But also being in it, I can consciously include my self in it?
John: Yes. It’s difficult because as you pull your self into it, you realize a benefit in your self.
Q: What is the benefit?
John: Experience. The difficulty is that as soon as form is given to what you’re being and doing in including your self, the form that you create is easily a distraction because it offers you something in your self.
Q: But for me, when I experience solidity of knowing, that’s an experience already. But that comes from my self?
John: It doesn’t come from your self; it comes by you. The form is given to that, and the experience is there because you’re being that within your self.
Q: So not to give anything to the experience, but staying in the knowing?
John: Yes.
Q: Thank you. In responding to what I know, then I can’t really stay in the experience because it’s always moving on.
John: You can’t adhere to experience that is a result of you being what you know.
Q: The response is then a pure movement.
John: Yes.
Q: And the experience is behind me.
John: As an ongoing result, a result that you don’t need. Imagine you come across a really special kind of goose, and you love this goose. You’re responding to it, and it’s responding to you, so you find some food and you feed it, because you love it. It eats the food and then it lays a golden egg. You realize, “how amazing!” You feed it again because you would like another golden egg. You’re not loving the goose any more, and then the goose also doesn’t eat. Now you’re somewhat disturbed with your self and the goose because you would like this magic to happen again and have another golden egg. Everything quickly becomes complicated. It’s not at all like the way it began.
Q: Is that what I just did?
John: It’s a natural tendency. When you realize that tendency and you stay with the purity of what you first knew regardless of any result, you realize that when you do that, there is really going to be result. You continue being that without connection to the result, and the results follow you, without you being or doing anything for the sake of that result. In this way you’re manifesting what you are without any need of benefit. It’s difficult to sustain because in the experience of your self, it becomes highly attractive. It offers you so much. That difficulty is important, because when you sustain being what you really are in the midst of manifesting what you really are, the difficulty of it makes you go deeper and deeper into what you really are. It enables you, of course, to be able to manifest even more results. This heightens the difficulty, because the results call upon you in your self for attention.
The benefit of the results is not for you in your self, but for you in your heart, at one with you in your self. It really is for you, pure you, but you are spread out through all of your levels and all of your forms. As soon as you are being what you really are, there’s going to be a result of that on the surface of one of your forms that you will register, and you’ll experience the benefit of that. To integrate what you really are, you need to be able to be pure you on any level, bringing about results on other levels without that distracting you from being pure you, just because of the benefit to you on another level. You can’t come into that without realizing difficulty and without sustaining what you really are in the midst of that newly realized difficulty.
Back to the goose, when you feed this goose you’ve found, and you love it and you’re being with it, and it lays a golden egg, you keep loving it and feeding it and it keeps laying golden eggs. There’s an entire life of golden eggs being produced, and you use these golden eggs to further goodness. You’re not distracted by this most amazing result. You keep just simply being in what you first were, which was loving the goose, and feeding it because you love it.
