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Sleeplessness: What Can I Do?

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When: November 21, 2015
Afternoon Meeting

Q: I told you long ago about my sleeplessness. I’m only able to sleep with strong medicines and even then it’s difficult. I feel weak and there are long periods when I feel completely empty: no thoughts and emotions, only emptiness and fear.

John: In everything that you speak, what really matters is that you quietly open. As you’re lying down to go to sleep but you cannot sleep, enjoy opening. When you go about your day and all seems empty, go about your day opening.  Above all else, in your whole life, like opening.

Q: In every state I’m in?

John: Yes. All these states that you’re in are not you. What you are in all of these states is either opening or closing. Like opening. Opening is the real you.  It doesn’t matter when you close, open. When you open, open. 

Q: At home I don’t feel the opening as strongly as I do here.

John: Open when you feel it. Open when you can’t feel it.

Q: There is nothing more to do?

John: That’s right.

Q: Open when I feel very shy. Open when I feel helpless.

John: Yes, and yes. When the sun comes out and shines on your body, open. When the weather turns wet, dark and cold, open. When you’re struck by lightning, open.

If you’d like a little help in your life, buy a t-shirt that you wear under everything. No one needs to see it. Have written on it the words: “My name is Open.”

What matters is not what happens to you or what you’re experiencing. It doesn’t matter how many layers of clothing you have on, what matters is that special t-shirt that is right next to your heart. That it’s always covered matters not.

Q: The pain, the fear, the lonesomeness and anything else are unimportant.

John: Yes.

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John de Ruiter TRANSCRIPTS

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Q: I need help opening my heart. (Crying) I haven’t been able to. John: Then wherever you go, give it. Giving your heart puts you in your heart. If you seem to not know how to open your heart, give your heart. As soon as you’re giving your heart,
Q: I can feel so much loneliness at times, but as much as I want to connect with people I cannot allow them in. I’m afraid they will abandon me. John: When you’re lonely, you’re not in need of company. When you’re lonely, you are in need of your

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