Q: Is acceptance the same as knowing? Is acceptance the same as softening?
John: Acceptance is a movement in your heart of willingness concerning something that you knew that you were reactive to or that you had emotion about or use of will about. So instead of having a use of will in relationship to something that you were knowing, then with acceptance the tightness and the emotionality of willfulness turns around and starts to open and there’s a willingness. So you’re moving with an openness and a softness toward what you were closed to before. The more willing you are, the more you feel. The more willful you are, the less you feel, but when you’re willful, you’ll have a lot of emotion.
As a couple, when you’re both in any kind of willingness at the same time, you’re together. Issues don’t separate you; difficulty doesn’t separate you; your selves don’t separate you. As soon as you’re a little bit willful and using emotion, even a little bit, then you’re not together. When you’re willing together, you love each other. It’s natural.
Q: You know there’s a lot going on for me right now and it’s pretty difficult. I’m pretty clear still but is there anything you can say to help me stay open?
John: Not even all of the clarity that you have in your self is equal in value to openness and softness in your heart.
Q: I know that , I go back to the ABC’s constantly. The more difficulty I’m in the more the basics are important. I know that and I’m doing that. In the meetings I can’t go deeply with you and that’s part of the difficulty.
John: Openness and softness of heart doesn’t struggle with that.
Q: What I find is, because of what’s going on in my heart, I’m not going deeper.
John: Then your self is in your heart.
Q: There’s a difficulty in my heart that I’m clear about but it’s not to do with my self.
John: If all there is in your heart is openness and softness, there’s no limitation whatsoever to you moving deeply. You will see more and more.
Q: Maybe we can’t have this conversation but it’s not happening for me in the meetings like that. I’m able to stay open. I know to stay open and I know the softness but I’m at that ABC point. I’m not moving.
John: Then be all openness and softness.
Q: You know what I’m saying, right? It’s like I’ve gone backwards.
John: You can be all openness and softness.
Q: I guess it’s to just trust.
John: Clarity does not have the same value as openness and softness of heart.
Q: Openness and softness of heart is great as far as it goes, but I’m not going like I was. Like it’s hugely different. It’s like I’ve been set back hugely in what I’ve been doing with you in the meetings. It’s like there’s damage or something.
John: Openness and softness of heart doesn’t relate to that.
Q: I think the more open you are the more you’re going to feel everything. It’s no good pretending things aren’t there that you’re dealing with.
John: Openness and softness of heart puts you directly into your being and the depth of openness and softness puts you into a depth of your being. Then if the clarity in your self slows that down, you’ve given value to the clarity that exceeds the actual value of beingness in your heart. The clarity in your self separates you.
Q: I’m not having any dialogue in my head while this is occurring. It’s just I’m not moving in those deeper levels with you anymore. It feels like a separation.
John: Profound openness and softness of heart doesn’t struggle with that. Openness and softness of heart doesn’t compromise clarity, but clarity is liable to compromise openness and softness of heart.