Excerpt from a dialogue with John de Ruiter on May 24, 2014
Q: The oneness you’ve talked about is there in the being and in the heart, right?
John: As soon as you go into your heart, there’s going to be a little bit of oneness in your heart. As soon as you’re acquainted with that little bit of oneness, what you know in your heart is the goodness of it and it draws you to open completely and to soften within that oneness. That takes you into the oneness in your being,
and that brings your being into your heart.
Q: At this cutting edge I feel very, very vulnerable and I’m also wondering about my independence. It feels a bit as if I’m disappearing.
John: For independence to be whole, independence is absolutely dependent on oneness and within oneness independence doesn’t exist.
Any sense of independence in your self is an opportunity for oneness to come into a form that it’s never been familiar with. Oneness gets to have your independence and oneness won’t use independence to gain control. Oneness uses independence to express what oneness is.
In your self, you use independence to gain control. You don’t need the control that you feel within your independence. The more warmly independent you are, the less dependent you are on your independence. When you’re coldly independent, you’re lost. When you’re warmly independent, you’re able to let go of your feeling of independence at any time; you’re not dependent on your independence. That, then, makes how you move with independence really lovely. You won’t be using it to have a personal sense of control. You’ll use your independence to express goodness.
Q: I’m so happy to hear this. There’s a deep relaxation and a fight has stopped.
John: The real depth of independence is dependency. The depth of independence is not independence. True independence is completely dependent on what it knows the truth of.
A superficial sense of independence doesn’t want to know what it knows the truth of; it just wants what it wants. A superficial independence is a form that is separate from your being. When you are warmly independent, then, within your own independence, you’re close to your being. Your independence really opens up when you stay within the warmth in your independence without holding to your independence and without using your independence to control something. The depth of your independence opens and, within your independence, you become warmly dependent on your own being. That enables your being to have movement and presence in this world.
When your being moves as independence in this world it moves as warmth, being beautifully dependent on what oneness is. It won’t insist on itself. It’ll just warmly remain in what it knows and it has a singular presence in that.
Q: What does that mean?
John: Presence that comes to a point in this world: presence that has real location and isn’t dependent on that location.
Q: Location in the body?
John: And location in this world. When you have independence it means that you’re able to hold to a location, but when you hold to a location that gives you a sense of control. When you use that sense of control in your self, your independence becomes cold. When you’re able to hold a position and a location in your presence in this world, while staying in your heart and remaining warmed, then your being has location in this world. It shows as independence but it’s a kind of independence that is devoid of contraction or coldness. A true, integrated independence is advanced dependency. A true independence is completely controlled by what it knows the truth of.
Exercise your independence warmly and as soon as it is a little bit cold, let it go.