Q: According to the scriptures, self-realization is a giving up of all forms. On the one hand, I want realization desperately. On the other hand, just last week I walked past a freshly dug grave and suddenly there was a very strong contraction around the heart and a fear. Can you maybe explain how the losing my self into nothingness is so desperately wanted, and on the other hand there is a fear for it?
John: Losing your self into…warm okayness. When you are warmed in your heart, you’re on your way home.
Q: Like this, now?
John: Yes.
Q: That’s very clear.
John: Lovely.
Q: Is there any other obstacles or blocks that you can see that I have to remove or overcome?
John: Any belief that you have a hold on. When you have a hold on a belief, you want to take something that doesn’t belong to you yet.
When you have a belief, you want to have something that doesn’t belong to you yet. You have a hold on something. You have a conceptual contraction around something that doesn’t belong to you yet. When you relax that hold, that brings you closer to anything that is of a truth that you’re trying to believe your way into. You don’t need any beliefs.
You don’t need any beliefs. You don’t need any core beliefs. You don’t need any beliefs at all, and with all of your beliefs gently relinquished, you are warmly free in all of your heart to believe the little bit that you know. You’re free to believe what you know. Warmly believe anything you know the truth of. Having a belief is a distraction from you believing what you do know the truth of. A belief is too dense. It’s too coarse. It’s too hard. Beliefs are not like your own being. You warmly believing what you know in your heart, whatever little bit that is, is a little bit like your own being.
Instead of believing the scriptures – any scriptures – hold any of them as lightly as you can, as gently as you can. Humbly move through them and be open for anything that you know the truth of in what you read, and with such delicate movement, as soon as you know the truth of something of what you read, in your heart, let that into the rest of your heart. That is you believing what you know the truth of. To move any stronger than that is to delude your self. If you believe the scriptures because you need something, because you need something from them, you circumvent what you know in your heart and you fool your self. You fool your self into thinking that you can get something just because you need something.
The scriptures won’t show you the way. You believing what you quietly know in your heart shows you the way.
Q: So then basically it’s a natural process that cannot be hastened or quickened.
John: It cannot be hastened by want or need. It can be hastened by heart honesty. It can be made immediate by core-splitting honesty, the kind of honesty within the heart that is most rare. It’s where you, to the core, where you want to know the truth – all of it – just so that you can surrender to it, just so that you can give absolutely everything that is you and yours to it.
If you want to know the truth, within, because you’re in pain, you must leave your pain out of it. You must leave any connection to results out of it. You cannot access the truth, within, without you being the same as that which you’re accessing.
In that, all that is required is for you to know a tiny, tiny, tiny little bit of truth. Completely surrendered into it, and you’re home. It doesn’t matter how little you know of the truth in your heart; the tiniest little bit is enough for you to surrender to. That makes a crumb of truth in your heart, your home. You don’t need the whole loaf.
Q: Thank you. Like this?
John: Yes.
Q: Such beauty.
John: There you are…fulfilling the scriptures. The deeper that you are warmed and quieted into the crumb, the more crumbs you can enter. This all works in the way that you have always been, in your heart, in love with.
Q: The first time I was shown this was twenty years ago.
John: The loveliness of what you’re saying in that is that others can hear you, and that you’re home.
Q: Such grace!
John: It isn’t grace. It isn’t grace; it’s what you’re being now. Grace is really you. It is how you move when you are being just like your own being. Grace is the movement of your own being. When you come into it, you’re moving the same way.
598 – The Person, the Self and the Being: Identifying the Many Levels of You (Part 2)
This dialogue is a continuation of last week’s podcast 597. John speaks about what ego is, the power we have to create mystery to conceal what is clear, and what takes us deeper than personal integrity.
597 – The Person, the Self and the Being: Identifying the Many Levels of You (Part 1)
Person, self, being … what’s the difference and what is real? Using different analogies, John explains how our different levels connect and shares the code to being what we really are.
596 – Beyond Sadness and Pain: Happy Without a Reason
John reveals the source of the deep well of sadness and pain this person carries, and shares how she can reconnect with her original happiness.
594 – Fully Present in Your Body, Fully Present in Your Heart
Closing down to the experience of vulnerability can mean dissociating from the body. John shares a simple way to become more present however uncomfortable we feel.
593 – Honest to the Way of Your Heart
An exploration of how honesty and an open, soft heart are connected, taking us ever deeper into the unseen roots we could remain in forever.
591 – The Truth About Compassion
When is compassion self-centred, when is it real, and how can we tell? An exploration of what it means to be truly compassionate.
“My sole purpose is to be, in life, what we are after we’ve died. Through openness and softness of heart and core-splitting honesty at any personal cost, I live as that while actualizing the same in others I meet. I am available as a resource for anyone who recognizes and values this way of being.”
– John de Ruiter
