Q: I’d like to take this opportunity to clear something up that puzzles me still. It’s pre-destiny and free will. In my own experience the pre-destiny I can accept. I’ve heard so many stories that I can see that there’s a reality that is there but then when I am the nothing and I am in truth, there is nothing to me. There is no will, so what is this free will? At one stage I thought it was the free will to suffer or not to suffer. Can you enlighten me on this please?

John: It is predestined that the will is not free until you’re dead. There’s free will after death, never before. Before death the will is governed by the patterns. The will is governed by want and need. When the self dies, then the will, the mind, the emotions, the body, the intuition are freed. Then they live and exist by way of intimacy. It’s only the intimacy of being that is free. When intimacy of being moves and flows into a pattern, the pattern just naturally opens up and gives way. When you’re flowing and existing as want and as need, every pattern that you encounter traps you, rules you, controls you, masters you, possesses you and there is then no free will, no free mind, there is no free anything. Then you can appear to have choice, but there is no choice. You will do your patterns whether you like it or not. When the self dies and is replaced by the being, then the being is freely being itself through everything that you used to occupy. Then it is all free and no longer governed by patterns. But that is speaking of life after death. Before death there is only just patterns, and you’re pre-destined to be ruled and mastered by these patterns until the self dies. Then there is life.

Q: All of that I know but that life, what does that consist of? The confusion is I see you, I hear you and I know and because I know, this is why I do it. So there doesn’t seem to be a choice in that either.

John: There is no choice but to give into what you know instead of giving into what you think and feel. So then you’re giving up free choice within thoughts and feelings and you’re surrendering to be controlled and mastered by the little bit that you know. When you become what you know, then you’re free. Then whatever it is that you desire, you do with ease, merge with it and it’s not coarse desire, it’s the kind of desire that is so sublimely fine. That kind of desire is like beauty in movement and this beauty has everything that it desires. This kind of beauty cannot comprehend taking; it cannot comprehend needing. Everything that pure love loves, it receives. Within such freedom there is no confinement. There is absolutely no limitation, no boundaries. It’s like having wings of reality and you get to fly just as much as you would. Then everything that you love you fly into and you fly being as that. It’s a completely different reality than the one that we’re used to in the coarseness of our mind. Within that there is absolute freedom. Within such freedom you are not governed by patterns; it is awareness that is absolutely intimate and free. Not held together by anything, not supported by anything, is not held out of anything. It is being and moving every way that it loves to. It’s love that is absolutely free to be itself.

When love is free, then it freely loves. And love knows no law. Love is free of the mind, it’s free of the emotions, it’s free of the will and then it is only love that can freely think. It is then only love that can freely feel. Love cannot ever get caught in a thought or a feeling. Love is all that there is that knows how to be free in a thought and in a feeling. Then thoughts and feelings for love are pure, clean vehicles of expression. They are no longer traps. There’s nothing to stick. There’s nothing to get caught. Real free thinking is only for love. Real free feeling is only for love. As soon as want or need, just a touch of it, is introduced to this, then everything collapses into a contraction.

Q: So it’s to be in love or is it to be in truth? The absolute nothing.

John: In love with truth. It is love that comes out of truth. The birthing place of love is truth. It is only love that can come out of truth and it is only love that can return to it. It is only love that has access to truth. It is only love that can freely go into truth. It can go in and it can be expressed out. It is only love that has such freedom. This is a wonderful taste of something that you really don’t need. But you are free to love it.

Q: It tastes divine. And I love the truth I see in me, whatever you are doing.

John: I am, I am drinking what it is that I love in you.

Q: Me too.

John: It is only love that is free to drink.

Q: Thank you.

John: Me too. Drinking in and swimming in the same water, just like a fish.