Q: I have chosen to live a life that is alone for many years now, and I want to ask you about merging with another, and what that means, truly.
John: Merging with another means that you are being with another, without in any way at all consuming another. But that is not something that happens unless you are living in this world while not consuming anything within, being within this life without taking anything from this life. Then your own beingness is contributing to this life.
Being in this life isn’t about making things comfortable for your self. It is about you being comfortable with people and in life. Then there is nothing within you that takes. Being able to comprehend, within, what it is to receive while not being able to relate, within, to taking: receiving without taking, giving without needing. That enables you to merge with another: being able to see without needing to be seen, being able to be seen without needing to be seen. Gentleness that is free to be looked into.
Q: Please say more about that.
John: Have a kind and a lovely relationship with food, while enjoying not needing to take anything from it. Your manner in how you are giving outwards is determined by the manner in which you are taking things inwards.
Your relationship with food determines your relationship with people. Be very kindly noticing, within, what you eat, how you eat and why you eat. And then let the finest beingness occupy what you eat, how you eat and why you eat, and then you’ll be so pleasantly astonished at how you see people differently.
A balanced and a right merging with food is the beginning of a balanced and a right merging with people. You get to see your way, within, and then you get to change your way, within. You get to be what you are actually in love with, within, and you get to let that change your way without.
You get to exist as a lovely being that moves through humanness.
548 – Right Side Up: No Longer Taking Your Stress to Heart
The responsibilities that come with working in the world can feel stressful. Is there a way of moving more lightly in it all? John explains how it’s all dependent on what we belong to, within.
547 – Profound Honesty: Being Okay When You Don’t Feel Okay
Shame, fear, anger … is it really possible to be okay in any circumstance, even when feeling attacked by others? There is transformative potential, and John explains.
546 – Less and Even Less: Why Weakness is Your Way Home, Within
Contrary to worldly conditioning, weakness isn’t something to conceal or avoid; it’s actually key to embodying a full spectrum of awareness. John describes the journey, and what it requires.
545 – From Fighting to Flourishing: A New Way Forward with Your Teenager
For this mother, who is struggling in relation to her teenage daughter, what begins as a hard lesson to learn becomes a beautiful crossroads that will deeply change them both.
544 – Evolving as Pure Awareness in War and Peace
An epic conversation that reveals what we’re here for, how to help people suffering the effects of war, what can change the planet, and why it’s up to us.
543 – Rebuilding Your Relationship For a Higher Purpose
Entering a sexual relationship too soon has created suffering for this couple. Is it possible to start over, and build the kind of commitment that will survive the inevitable difficulties?
“My sole purpose is to be, in life, what we are after we’ve died. Through openness and softness of heart and core-splitting honesty at any personal cost, I live as that while actualizing the same in others I meet. I am available as a resource for anyone who recognizes and values this way of being.”
– John de Ruiter
