Q: Hi, John. I suffer from bouts of depression quite a bit, and although I can go underneath it and experience the peace and quiet while on the surface the depression is raging, I was wondering why these depressions occur and if there is a true way to be with it or in it.
John: Your depression is a threshold in your self. It’s the un-dealt-with part of you that comes together when things are not coming together for your self. While a depression is difficult to deal with, it does also offer you the immediate of the deep. A depression takes you deeply into your self, and its patterns hold you there. In moving past your self at such a threshold you’ll be going from the deep in your self to the deep that’s beneath your self.
In the midst of a depression, realize a subtlety of newness, a living knowledge within that you know the truth of and that you are, as awareness, connected to. In the midst of the depression, draw near to that subtlety, realizing its depths and its goodness. In shifting the attention of your heart to that, you’ll be going against your self. Everything in your self won’t feel like what it is that you’re responding to in your heart. In remaining with that subtlety of newness, giving it your heart’s attention, you’ll be dealing with those things in your self that were, before, un-dealt-with … those things in your self that enable the depression in the first place, the getting caught in your self, being persuaded by negative sentiment, taking to heart thoughts and feelings in your self that are of a lower level, even though even as it begins there are subtleties within that you know the truth of, that are not of a lower level.
In the midst of a depression notice the little, within – the tiny little bits within of living knowledge, the tiny little bits within of nurture – and be toward the subtleties that you’re realizing…be toward them in the same way that they are. Such tiny little bits within show you exactly how to be in the midst of a depression. They show you exactly what to relate to and how to relate. The exact beingness is in it. Notice them and then throughout your self be in deep, straight heart-agreement with them, staying close to the little in the midst of the big. That has you moving past your self when you most don’t have any will or feeling to do so.
It’s within such difficulties that as awareness you can find some of the deepest deposits, deposits of real knowledge. Instead of seeing a depression as something for you to get through and survive, something to get past and get rid of, view it as your real and deep opportunity to evolve as awareness. That removes the focus of your attention away from difficulty in your self to the goodness that you know, within.
In depression, you’re given as awareness to believe in your self instead of believing that within, that’s lovelier than your self. In the midst of a depression you can see what you’re given to believe and, in the midst of that, identify the tiny little bit within that you know to believe. It doesn’t offer what you would like. What it offers doesn’t appeal to your self, but what it offers, you know within is real and is good. Believe that within instead of believing your self.
In directing your own heart to what you know, however little bit that is, you’re directing you within your self to a deeper you that’s deeper than where your self is. It is a level within that to your accustomed self offers so little, but a level within that in your awareness you know is everything. It’s a level that appeals to what you know instead of a level that appeals to your accustomed self. Your higher evolution is completely dependent on your being that, within, that’s deeper than your self.
Being in a depression offers you an obvious threshold, a threshold that isn’t based on subtlety, that you’re able to be a subtlety in moving past it. Instead of dealing with your self in moving past your self, you’ll be dealing with what you know that has you being knowing in the midst of a difficult self. You’re able to be patterned after knowing, instead of succumbing to being patterned after what self you have.