Q: It’s about words, language and communication. For quite some time now I’ve felt there’s nothing but garbage coming out of my mouth. I was wondering if you could say more about that.
John: For your languaging to change, your heart has first to change. Your heart would have to become undone, and then come back together rightly. Your languaging is accurately representing your heart.
Q: And how can my heart become undone?
John: When there is any distortion in your heart and you let your heart be still, it comes apart. It is the stillness that allows the undoing. When there is no distortion in your heart, when you are being completely still within your heart, then there is nothing in your heart that becomes undone. It is only distortion that comes apart when you become still. When there is stillness, there is no holding. It is only the holding within that maintains a distortion. When the holding relaxes and stops, so does the distortion.
Q: Can you talk to me more about the holding?
John: The holding is you doing something, within, that goes against what you know is true. As soon as you do that, within, then that shows up in having a bad mouth. Words will come out of your mouth that will be representing the distortion that is within. That is you being bad within yourself. When you are consciously distorting something within yourself in order to consciously distort someone else, then that is evil. Whenever malice moves, that is much worse than just bad.
This isn’t to make you feel horrible. This is to help you see what actually, really is. Badness, within, or conscious distortion, within, is commonplace. Conscious distortion, within, that is consciously efforting to distort someone else is also commonplace. Just because it is normal, that doesn’t make it natural. It requires a conscious twisting, within, in order to be that.
It is stillness, within, that allows such distortion to become undone. Tightness, within, can then still occur, enabling similar words to come out but then, when that happens, it very freshly and immediately pierces you, because that is no longer normal for you. It is experienced as being unnatural. Your own languaging will reflect how tightly wound up you are.
It is only a profound conscious being still, within, that enables you to gently unwind. With every little bit that unwinds there is a very conscious letting-go of very specific little things, within, that represent a very intricate and complex holding. It is like a holding puzzle, and as each and every piece consciously came together, each and every piece must consciously be specifically letting-go of something: the profound, honest, complete re-evaluation of everything that you’re standing in and of everything that you are living for, having no willingness to maintain a single little distortion within. The complete undoing of the distortion in your heart lays your soul bare, letting you see and feel as things actually, really are. When there is no such distortion covering your soul, then you really know what you are.
The distortion that is maintained within your heart very slowly affects your soul. The heart can easily change in an instant; the soul changes very slowly. As distortion from within the heart eventually permeates your soul, then, when the heart becomes completely undistorted and lays bare the soul, there is pain within your soul that very slowly releases. That is you experiencing, within your soul, what you have taken deeply into your self. Such distortion within the soul requires real time to heal and to change. It does not happen in an instant as it can happen within your heart.
Something much more fundamental has occurred when you bruise your bone than when you bruise your tissue. The healing of the soul is much more painful because, as awareness, you’re actually experiencing the full reality of what distortion really is. There is no such healing unless the soul is laid bare because the heart is willingly and very gently completely undone. This is something that really changes your languaging.
Accessing your heart requires profound honesty. Accessing your soul requires such a heart, with you, as awareness, being the patience and the consistency of stillness gently receding through painfulness. It requires much distortion within the heart to distort the soul. It also requires much of a real heart to enter into and to undistort the soul. It’s like you carefully re-setting your own bones. It is the deepest tending to the healing of oneself.
To follow-through to such depth in being true within yourself makes you a profoundly understanding soul. Then the seeing within your heart comes deeply from within your soul. That would make you an experienced soul. Such a soul can then consciously access spirit: consciously accessing your very own source, walking in It. Then your seeing originates from within your own source, consciously moving through your own soul, all of this expressing itself through your heart. It is so truly possible – consciously returning, and that coming back.