Q: I am so much in the fear, when you talk about the tipping point when you go to sleep, and I just stay there on that line because I’m too afraid to go into the dark. I have been there for too long and I ask you if you could follow me.
John: You need to take seriously what you are deeply knowing to step into, not in terms of a life circumstance, but a deep stepping within. You need to really listen to what you are deeply knowing, without listening to your nervous system feedback – the circuitry of your condition that is in your nervous system, made stronger by your listening to it and taking it to heart. Your relationship to that needs to stop. It isn’t going to go away on its own; nothing is going to take it away for you. It shifts your nervous system, and your mind, in your nervous system, will shift when you deeply take to heart what you directly know the truth of, regardless of your nervous system. It will all shift when you do, but your shift into what you know needs to be clear and certain, regardless of what has been your practice. It’s in many areas of your self and your life, so you are surrounded with it.
Regardless of all of that, step into what you know, quietly being what you know regardless of all of the voices, the voices of your mind, your patterning, your nervous system. It’s a big undertaking but it is simple. Deeply, quietly shift and stay the shift regardless of the weather. That will bring up everything in your self that you haven’t been dealing with for decades. It’s a lot, but it’s not too much. You can do this.
Q: Will you be there?
John: The more you are into what you know, the more I’m there.
Q: When you talk about going in to do the step, it’s right there: the fear is starting and the nervous system starts to take over and I really don’t know how to. You talk about this, and this, and I really try, but sometimes it’s also too much to try. It’s just be there. But anyway, it stops me taking the step into what I really know.
John: Warmly accept that in taking that step it’s going to be a dark walk. You don’t need it to be any different; it’s really fine that it’s going to be a dark walk. The dark walk will clean you; it’ll clean you of the habit of your self. It’ll clean you as you stay in it. It’s a heavy self detox, but it really does work. That it stays there in front of you isn’t going to stop. Avoiding it doesn’t help it; it adds to it. It will keep building up until you quietly step right into what you know and you enter your deep, deep inner walk regardless of everything you can say troubles you. Quietly step in, quietly stay in. Get right into what you know is your real walk. When you get right into it, you’re going to fall. It doesn’t matter how many times you fall. It doesn’t matter how hard you fall. It really matters that when you fall, you get back up quickly, and the manner in which you get back up really matters: that it is openness and softness of heart that keeps getting back up, quickly. It doesn’t matter how you fall, openness and softness of heart is getting up, and walks – no stories around falling, no stories around all of your past falling. Falling is fine, falling isn’t going to hurt you. It’s only the stories around it that hurt you.
Stepping right in and staying in your deep inner walk is what you’re made for. All of the difficulty in stepping in and staying in is going to help you. There are depths to stepping in and depths to staying in that you really need, and it’s your difficulty that sends you there. When you step in and stay in your deep inner walk, it’s the difficulty that increases your reach: your reach into what you know, your reach into your awakening, your reach into your real resources. All of your real resources are deeper within than your self. The difficulty directs you to your greater resource.
This is all really good. It isn’t heavy to bear. You’re not being tested. It is all really good. You’re made for this. You’re born for this. That it is a dark walk, when you deeply step in, is really good; it’s the dark walk that cleans you of all of your beliefs. It isn’t a painless cleaning and it’s also not about the pain – it’s all incidental to what you are deeply responding to.
Q: I still don’t get how to calm down my nervous system so I can step in.
John: You don’t need your nervous system. You don’t need your mind, you don’t need your self for you to step in. You don’t need your nervous system, your mind or your self to change first. If you address your nervous system so that you can step in, you are stepping into your nervous system. Whatever it is you address and you face is what you step into, and what you make stronger. Regardless of what occurs in your nervous system, leave your nervous system and your self, your mind, out of this. Concerning your nervous system and your self, you are still and silent. That makes you all available for the deep within. You are all available for what you know. There’s no energy at all that you give to dealing with your experience and your troubles.
Your nervous system in its present condition is there to stop you. You trained it how to stop you. You trained it how to rescue you from being what you really are. It’s all going to act on you as soon as you start to really listen to what you really are and what you know in it. It can come up like a storm. All that matters is that you are quietly steady in the storm. The storm doesn’t stop you.