Q: In September I was diagnosed with cancer, and sometimes I’ve got the feeling my life is getting purpose again. At the beginning, knowing that I might die, I was always very relaxed and I saw me once at the end of the tunnel going into that light. I had moments where I wished I could go there. After a while, I could see that I’ve also got the willingness to live; not go home when I’m dead…go home when I’m alive.

John: For you to be okay, profoundly okay as is, you won’t be needing the security of your past. You won’t be needing the security of memory. Profound okayness prepares you in your heart, within your self, for being inexperienced vulnerability. In being inexperienced vulnerability, you’re not subject to the conditioning that’s in your self while, as awareness, being fully present in your self. The inexperienced vulnerability takes you, within your self, out of your usual self and brings you, as awareness, into your first self, being fully present in form without having the leanings, within, to your own history, your own past. It’s where you have no protection, within, because you need no protection, within.

Your capacity as awareness to meet, from within your self, is limited to your relationship with vulnerability. If you have issue with vulnerability you’ll be constraining your own real capacity to meet. You won’t be able to fully meet. When you have, within your self, no issue with vulnerability, you will be coming into inexperienced vulnerability, which is different from what you’re used to. You’re used to being experienced vulnerability. For you to be present as awareness, profoundly okay as is within your self, you will experience all of the vulnerability of what it is for you to be in a self while being inexperienced in it.

Profound okayness is able to be profoundly vulnerable without needing to hold to anything that’s familiar. When you are, as awareness, pure within vulnerability, you are inexperienced vulnerability. The conditioning in your self, your past and your memory won’t be informing you of what you are.

Inexperienced vulnerability enables you, from within your self, to completely meet…meeting a situation, meeting another. With inexperienced vulnerability you are what you are and no longer who you are, yet fully present in your self. Inexperienced vulnerability, while present in a self, has need of nothing and has no covering: pure availability.

Being free of your self requires being fully present and available within your self. It is there that the purpose in having a self begins to open. You begin to know and see; being present within your conditioning without having need of your conditioning.

When you die you will be entering other realms. You are able to enter these realms before you die. Inexperienced vulnerability enables you to bring your self along with you into these other realms before you die without having a relationship of need. The relationship with need has you identified with the conditioning in your self. It’s the conditioning in your self, identified with, that forbids entrance with your self into these other realms.

The purpose in having a self is for you, as awareness, to develop within the context of form. Your self is your form. What comes with that form, the form that you’ve come into this world with, is its conditioning. The conditioning is a natural distraction from what you are. As you remain, as awareness, being what knowing is, the conditioning in your self that is present doesn’t distract. Then the conditioning that’s in your self enables you, as awareness, to develop in the context of form, gaining heart understanding of your own conditioning, enabling you to have heart understanding for others.

Your availability to meet with others is within your own conditioning and within the conditioning that’s in another, without your using that conditioning, without your being dependent on the conditioning, creating experienced vulnerability. You’ll be integrating your own conditioning by being in it without needing it.