Q: I have two women and a child very near around me, and being raised as a mental very in-control male being, I’m starting to discover now what great strength lies in the feminine, in the female, in the mother aspect, which seems difficult not to turn that into a mental thing. And I’m asking you for help to stay with that beautiful possibility to learn where I can find my heart or where I can find that female part in me, the depth of meaning and not falling back into how much I understand. That’s the shift that’s needed on a bigger scale.
John: You’re noticing what you are knowing is lovelier than what your self is. You notice it, see it, and you’re knowing the truth of it. You’re not noticing it as a self, because what you’re noticing is lovelier than your self. Your self isn’t informing you of what you’re noticing. Awareness in your heart is informing you of what you’re noticing. Stay with awareness that is in your heart. Value awareness that is in your heart. Value it more than your self, without making your self wrong. There isn’t anything wrong with your self, and in what you are knowing in your heart, your self simply doesn’t compare.
When you are noticing from within your heart, you recognize a depth of meaning outside of your self. That depth of meaning has nothing to do with your self. It does have to do with the level, within, that you’re noticing from. Live being loyal to that, more loyal to that than to your self. When you’re loyal to it, it’s because you’re relating to it. You’re naturally loving it and liking it. It’s having your heart. It’s filling your heart. The filling comes from your own relating.
You’re able as awareness to empty out the more meaningful relating by taking to heart the less meaningful relating. That puts you, as awareness, in control of the level of relating that fills you. When you’re not realizing that is when you’ll be using what you relate to in your self to be what fills you. That has you being the self that you’re used to, even though in your heart your self doesn’t actually mean very much to you.
What you know in your heart is that anything out there that’s lovelier than what your self is means more to you than what your self is. When you see a little bit of beingness in someone else that you know is lovely, in your heart you love that more than your self. There, your relating as awareness is coming from your heart instead of from your self.
When you were really little this was your way. It’s how you saw. You were not experienced in this way, and your level of inexperience didn’t diminish your seeing; it didn’t diminish at all what you were naturally and easily knowing in your heart. It’s the habit of the self that you developed that took you out of being in your heart.
There isn’t a habit to being in your heart. Being in your heart, as awareness, isn’t a habit: it is lovely. Being what is lovely won’t take care of your self, and it won’t take care of your life. Being what is lovely in the midst of your self takes care of your self, and being what is lovely in the midst of your life will be taking care of your life.
It isn’t really the feminine that you’re loving. In your self you identify it as femininity, but in your heart you don’t really identify it as femininity. In your heart you simply know what is lovelier than what your self is. When you identify it as femininity, while there’s more meaning that you’re knowing in that than in your self, it is still a reduction of meaning than what you’re capable of being in.
What you’re really noticing is a beingness in femininity, a beingness that you know the truth of in your heart. When you are in your heart and relating to what you are knowing in your heart, you’ll be seeing what is lovelier than what your self is, everywhere and in everything. You’ll be awakening to the more of your own being.
You can put labels to that and you can be open to understanding in that as long as it doesn’t take you out of the relating, the relating to what you are knowing in your heart. In that way, your thinking will be governed by a deeper beingness than what you’re used to in your self.
What you’re used to in your self is that as soon as you begin to start thinking, you move into the relating that you are accustomed to in your self, taking you out of your heart. That has you thinking that thinking takes you out of your heart. There isn’t anything wrong with thinking and there isn’t anything wrong with your self. And what is lovelier, within, than what your self is and than what thinking is, is what you’re able to be coming from in your self and in your thinking.
Then thinking gives form to what your being is. Then thinking gives form to what is lovelier than what your self is. Then thinking changes what your self is.
512 – Integrating Spirituality: Walking the Walk
The experience of emptiness and openness on the path of integration can feel like a no-man’s land. John explains why that is, how to avoid a spiritual ego, and what to trust … even if you feel like a fool.
511 – The Making of A New Self
The sense of having nothing to hold onto allows a moment of communion, an experience of being. John explains when holding has value and when it is merely conditioning, coming between us and what we really are.
510 – Removing the Veils of Illusion: The Unseen Made Seen, Through You
This conversation takes us on a journey beyond our seen reality into unseen realms within, and John describes the subtle veils that separate us from being the love that we most deeply are.
509 – Bonds of Being
In this detailed and at times humorous dialogue, John reveals the magical bonds of being that occur when one spectrum of consciousness encounters another.
508 – From Illusion to Oneness: Your Nervous System Reconfigured
A powerful conversation expressing an absolute truth: John describes the evolution that takes place in the body as we be and do the goodness we know, regardless of experience.
507 – Finding Clarity When You Don’t Know What to Do
Feeling weak, tired and caught in waves of uncertainty about what to do – does something need to change? A conversation showing the deep healing and clarity that comes from adding warmth to the discomfort of feeling clueless.
“My sole purpose is to be, in life, what we are after we’ve died. Through openness and softness of heart and core-splitting honesty at any personal cost, I live as that while actualizing the same in others I meet. I am available as a resource for anyone who recognizes and values this way of being.”
– John de Ruiter
