596 – Beyond Sadness and Pain: Happy Without a Reason
John reveals the source of the deep well of sadness and pain this person carries, and shares how she can reconnect with her original happiness.
Q: As I notice this movement coming from the core of my self, or a deep flow of awareness moving up through my body and through my face, I notice a vulnerability, a great sensitivity to subtle changes that are happening in the energy space that’s around me.
John: Lovely. Then you’re in the deeper levels of your body, because you are in the deeper levels of you, while you’re in your body, and you’ll feel that in your nervous system. It changes your spatial sense of reality.
Q: It seems that there’s a very subtle flow of everyone’s awareness moving through the space and helping to participate in co-creating the space. Does the being that moves through each of us, does it trace back down to the same source? Are we all ‘I’s of the same being?
John: Yes. Precisely. Beautifully. Any slight sense of meaning, tiniest little bit of meaning that you experience, on any level, with anyone or about anything is there because of your being. It’s the presence of your being and it wouldn’t matter how much you separate from your being, you’re not capable of excluding all of it. So, no matter what, it keeps seeping in. And there isn’t anything as meaningful as you being responsive to that; that in all of your life there isn’t anything that you are as sensitive to as that. It’s everything. It’s the beingness of what you really are.
Q: I’m noticing that there’s this touching of being on the outside with this being from the inside, and that there’s just a very delicate sense of noticing the tone and the texture just of this particular touch. Is that the same as meaning?
John: That’s you being the intimate witness of meaning, which keeps you really close to your being, very much in touch with it, but still, in some way, on the outside. You’re free to be on the inside in everything moving outwards. You, one with your being, in endless ways, sweetly seeping into all of your self and all of your life: the meaning of your life.
Q: Is love the same thing as being moving to touch?
John: Yes. More deeply than that, it is your being, and your being moving, in your self, to touch. What is touched in that is your heart.
Q: I’m noticing, somehow, the movement of that being from the heart, moving up in almost these little plumes of something that rises from that space and then meets itself and touches itself, and at the meeting point is the formation of self?
John: That’s you, within your being, coming up into a little bit more available form, form that’s available in your self. It’s available to your being. As long as it’s your being that you’re coming from, your being gets to have your self.
Q: Is there some sense in which it chooses?
John: No. It’s natural, like breathing. You can choose to breathe, but you’ll interrupt its flow and rhythm. As soon as you relax, you breathe. As you are one with your being, because you are being what you really are, that natural, effortless movement into your self turns your self into a self of change. Every little bit of movement of you, being the same as your being up into your self, changes something in your self. It’s non-stop until you identify with something in your self. It’s like parking in your self, making your self important, and for a time putting your being on hold. You’ll go back to it later but then the habit of identifying with your self covers up what you’ve left behind. And then after a time, when you try to find your way back, you’ll invariably use the habit of your self that you’ve created to help you get back, which only serves to strengthen that identity.
Q: How does that identity become molten again?
John: Through a deep, quiet, delicate honesty, and you begin to see again as a being instead of foremost as a self.
Q: Stepping into being as itself, identity with being rather than identity with the self?
John: You wouldn’t have an identity with your being. You’re just sweetly lost in it. You’re so at home in your being that you wouldn’t leave it for anything in your self, or anything in your life. So then it is you in your being that your self really belongs to, and your life belongs to. It will show in the littlest things. The really little things in your life will matter more to you than the big things. That means that you’re sensitive from within your being to everything in your self.
Q: Is it a giving away of all of those big things that are out there to the small things?
John: It’s like that. The big things in your life will be sweetly all right, while you’ll love the little things, such as doing up your buttons or tying your shoelaces; that the really little details have so much meaning because you’re so deeply in them. In whatever it is you do, you keep emerging, blossoming. It isn’t dependent on what you do. It’s all dependent on what you’re being.
Q: Probably more than with anybody I’ve ever encountered, I notice a really smooth consistency to how you stay in that space. Do you experience it as staying in that space?
John: No. It’s more like I don’t know how not to, whereas decades ago it was much to my dismay that I didn’t know how to.
Q: Did it all come rushing in, suddenly, at once? Or was it a slow and gradual transition?
John: All at once. When your response as awareness is only to the core, it is all at once. That’s you just simply being what you’re made of. It’s natural. Make of it a practice or a path and you corrupt your self, making your self seem important where, deep within, you know it isn’t. What you really are needs no sense of accomplishment. There isn’t anything to have. There isn’t anything to do until what you really are, one with your being, is in a body. Then the creative impetus to do is enormous, and it’s all-transformative until you separate a little bit from what you really are because of the sense of importance in your self of that flow. And then you begin to fool your self.
Q: It feels like hide and go seek, a little bit. It’s there and present, and then somehow it recedes away.
John: Need it and it’s elusive. Enjoy it and you’re quickly it.
Q: Is the enjoyment of it the same thing as the letting go of it?
John: When you’re deeply letting go of it, the letting go is really just letting go of your personal self, your self in relationship to what you really are. With that fundamental let-go, which is just you, awareness, relaxing, you enjoy being what you really are.
The sweetest, most beautiful example of that that I’ve ever seen was a small child being in a fit, a red-faced fit of rage, and in the space of about a second-and-a-half dropped everything and was smiling, happy, open-eyed, all sweet beingness, no problem! And it didn’t lose anything.
Q: How does this relate to having a sense of wonder?
John: That’s what it then has in seeing anything, whether it’s the crack in the sidewalk or someone’s face. In whatever it looks at, it really sees.
Q: Like a newness of seeing. You don’t look as tall when you’re sitting down.
John: I’m much littler than you think.
Q: What a deep blessing. Thank you.
596 – Beyond Sadness and Pain: Happy Without a Reason
John reveals the source of the deep well of sadness and pain this person carries, and shares how she can reconnect with her original happiness.
595 – When a Crumb of Truth in Your Heart is Your Home
John responds to a spiritual dilemma: a desperate longing for realization, coupled with the fear of nothingness that seems to come with it.
594 – Fully Present in Your Body, Fully Present in Your Heart
Closing down to the experience of vulnerability can mean dissociating from the body. John shares a simple way to become more present however uncomfortable we feel.
593 – Honest to the Way of Your Heart
An exploration of how honesty and an open, soft heart are connected, taking us ever deeper into the unseen roots we could remain in forever.
592 – Beyond Self-Acceptance: The Way of Deep, Inner Healing
An experience of misplaced anger has raised the question of what real healing is. John takes us beyond simple self-acceptance, deep into the source of the finest healing of all.
591 – The Truth About Compassion
When is compassion self-centred, when is it real, and how can we tell? An exploration of what it means to be truly compassionate.
“My sole purpose is to be, in life, what we are after we’ve died. Through openness and softness of heart and core-splitting honesty at any personal cost, I live as that while actualizing the same in others I meet. I am available as a resource for anyone who recognizes and values this way of being.”
– John de Ruiter
Cookie | Duration | Description |
---|---|---|
cookielawinfo-checkbox-advertisement | 1 year | Set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin, this cookie is used to record the user consent for the cookies in the "Advertisement" category . |
cookielawinfo-checkbox-analytics | 11 months | This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Analytics". |
cookielawinfo-checkbox-functional | 11 months | The cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies in the category "Functional". |
cookielawinfo-checkbox-necessary | 11 months | This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary". |
cookielawinfo-checkbox-others | 11 months | This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Other. |
cookielawinfo-checkbox-performance | 11 months | This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Performance". |
elementor | never | This cookie is used by the website's WordPress theme. It allows the website owner to implement or change the website's content in real-time. |
PHPSESSID | session | This cookie is native to PHP applications. The cookie is used to store and identify a users' unique session ID for the purpose of managing user session on the website. The cookie is a session cookies and is deleted when all the browser windows are closed. |
viewed_cookie_policy | 11 months | The cookie is set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin and is used to store whether or not user has consented to the use of cookies. It does not store any personal data. |
Cookie | Duration | Description |
---|---|---|
locale | 1 month | This cookie is used to store the language preference of a user allowing the website to content relevant to the preferred language. |
Cookie | Duration | Description |
---|---|---|
_ga | 2 years | The _ga cookie, installed by Google Analytics, calculates visitor, session and campaign data and also keeps track of site usage for the site's analytics report. The cookie stores information anonymously and assigns a randomly generated number to recognize unique visitors. |
_gid | 1 day | Installed by Google Analytics, _gid cookie stores information on how visitors use a website, while also creating an analytics report of the website's performance. Some of the data that are collected include the number of visitors, their source, and the pages they visit anonymously. |
CONSENT | 16 years 2 months 18 days 8 hours | YouTube sets this cookie via embedded youtube-videos and registers anonymous statistical data. |
yt.innertube::requests | never | This cookie, set by YouTube, registers a unique ID to store data on what videos from YouTube the user has seen. |
Cookie | Duration | Description |
---|---|---|
IDE | 1 year 24 days | Google DoubleClick IDE cookies are used to store information about how the user uses the website to present them with relevant ads and according to the user profile. |
NID | 6 months | NID cookie, set by Google, is used for advertising purposes; to limit the number of times the user sees an ad, to mute unwanted ads, and to measure the effectiveness of ads. |
test_cookie | 15 minutes | The test_cookie is set by doubleclick.net and is used to determine if the user's browser supports cookies. |
VISITOR_INFO1_LIVE | 5 months 27 days | A cookie set by YouTube to measure bandwidth that determines whether the user gets the new or old player interface. |
YSC | session | YSC cookie is set by Youtube and is used to track the views of embedded videos on Youtube pages. |
yt-remote-connected-devices | never | YouTube sets this cookie to store the video preferences of the user using embedded YouTube video. |
yt-remote-device-id | never | YouTube sets this cookie to store the video preferences of the user using embedded YouTube video. |
yt.innertube::nextId | never | This cookie, set by YouTube, registers a unique ID to store data on what videos from YouTube the user has seen. |