Q: I experienced that I wasn’t in this room any more. I just experienced that it went very deep and I wasn’t in this room anymore. Can you explain to me what that is?
John: You not being in your self.
Q: After my other talk with you where I really opened, what I opened to has always stayed with me, but I don’t always find how I can give that right action or movement in my self.
John: In that space, your person and your self matter little.
Q: I experience my self so strongly at times. What can I do differently?
John: Let go of you needing your self and person to be strong. Your person and your self are temporary.
Q: I know.
John: Then you cannot take them seriously.
Q: I find that difficult to understand. Are my self and person not in my care?
John: You don’t fundamentally need to relate to them.
Q: I have another question about my daughter. She is a very beautiful, spirited child and she has a strong and powerful will. I would love to hear from you how I can guide her with that. It’s a strength, but it’s also important to help her integrate that.
John: You help her in that by you not needing your will.
Q: You mean my will against hers in those situations?
John: Your will against anything.
Q: So to only focus on that in me will help her?
John: You can move your power by being clear, without the use of will.
Q: Is it also better for me to only do something about it when I can see clearly and I use my power from there, and to never interfere even if I can see she is being willful?
John: Yes.
Q: She’ll be even better off with me correcting her less, than with my ideas of what I think? Since I’ve been in Edmonton, I’ve experienced a higher degree of my thinking and anxiety in my self. Is that because seeing more deeply makes me see my patterns more clearly?
John: Yes.
Q: So my experience of it is very much changed because of what I have been identifying with. I often see tension in my normal life.
John: You don’t need all that is normal for you. Normal blinds you. When you’re being what is normal to you, you can’t see past it, and you’ll need your will for you to move what you think is normal. When you come away from what is normal. Depth and tenderness remain.
Q: So my only focus should be to stay with this, without putting any priorities or functioning in action.
John: Yes. Function and action have no real meaning without this.
Q: When I walk outside again, right away I choose to see the world my usual way, and I go back into patterns.
John: Instead of relating to your usual senses, relate to the bone.
Q: To the bone? I knew that I wanted to come to the chair because I felt very pulled to become very sharp and focused in what’s real, instead of all the time knowing what’s real but still being in limbo. You have given a very good answer to that. Thank you.
John: Be you independent of your roles as a wife and a mother.
Q: And to stay in that and to come from there, I can’t really take things personally anymore.
John: You’ll be beyond a wife and a mother.
Q: So it’s the way I am in that.
John: You being to the bone. From there, all that you perceive as being normal cracks open.
Q: Has that already been cracking because of my more intensified experiences, or is it still all to crack?
John: You can be within your intensified experiences but without a soundtrack.
Q: Without a soundtrack? Sorry, what do you mean by that?
John: Its volume is what’s giving you a sense of meaning.
Q: So that’s for me to really stay focused on the way I’m in my body now, the depth I experience in the body, to stay with that no matter how loud things seem to sound in my system.
John: Yes.
Q: And that’s what you mean with cracking open. All those things sound loud, but I can stay deeply rooted in my body, in this level of my body.
John: Yes.
Q: Okay. Is it important for me to search for experience in my body?
John: Be in my bones while you are having your experiences. How you experience your self then won’t encase you.
Q: While I experience the contrast between this clarity and my every-day experience, I can just stay focused on the space beneath the issues.
John: There is nothing else.
