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Making Real Human Love

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When: January 12, 2015
Evening Meeting
Where: ,
Topics:

Q: Yesterday I decided to really take to heart that you don’t need your self or your past to make love. I found that my body, deeper levels in my self, kept opening and opening, there was a point where there was a barrier and I just kept going, opening and opening and moving through this apparent barrier, and when I did that, I experienced complete ecstasy, and at the same time I started to cry and it was like my heart was breaking for everything I’d taken to heart or believed to stop me going where I went. I have some questions that relate to such an opening and I think it relates to what you were saying to Raissa about deeper sexuality and the subconscious and opening up into consciousness and I’d also really love to ask you about humanness, what you mean by that.

John: Your humanness opens up in the way that you relate within reality to everything and everyone when you are opening and softening in your heart, when you are unconditionally in your heart. Humanness has little to do with your self and everything to do with the opening of your heart into and through all of your self. Your sexuality is your engine in that. It is the engine of your humanness.

When you are not opening and softening in your heart in the midst of your sexuality, when your heart opening and softening isn’t moving into and through your self, sexuality becomes the engine to a self-orientation, securing you not being in your heart, posturing you within your self within attraction and aversion. When you are unconditionally opening and softening in your heart in the movement of your sexuality, that movement, the energy of your sexuality, opens you into a depth of humanness, a depth of reality understood from within a heart-understanding. The movement of your own being fills and fulfills your presence in your heart and your heart-understanding.

Q: I still don’t really have a sense of what humanness is. It kind of seems strange saying that, like a fish asking what water is. We are in our humanness. It’s our true nature.

John: When you are opening and softening, yes. When heart-understanding, your humanness, moves through your self, non-result-oriented kindness moves; authentic kindness moves. As it moves, it is through realized humanness that you comprehend others, which is different from how people are together. Your sexuality connected to your being opens your humanness.

Q: That authentic kindness is authentic love? I have wondered for a long time how making love makes love.

John: The deeper levels of you move the deeper levels of your body, moving the deeper levels of your self, making love physical within the level of your self. It makes love physical in your self. It makes your self like your being, you reproducing your being in your self.

Q: Is that different from the humanness and the authentic kindness that you were speaking of?

John: It accomplishes pure human love, pure human beingness. Your being realized within your self, moving as your self.

Q: Becoming aware of what’s in the subconscious is becoming aware of anything that would hold us back from full expression of what you’re saying?

John: For you to become deeply and fully human, your subconsciousness needs to have free access into your conscious self so that there’s no longer a need in you for there to be a held difference between the two. Then there is just your self, known by you, all occupied with your being-filled heart, a realized and functional human being.

Q: What does it take to let go of that holding, the separation of the subconsciousness and the consciousness?

John: You, in your self, freed of attraction and aversion.

Q: And how is that brought about?

John: By you unconditionally being in your heart, opening and softening. You responding as a being within your self, instead of you within your self moving by attraction and aversion.

Q: I love what you’re saying, John. In some ways it seems quite big, and I keep hearing what you said to me years ago. You said, ‘this isn’t daunting. This is love’.

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John de Ruiter TRANSCRIPTS

on This Topic

Excerpts from two cafe conversations on building a real relationship: Q: I am wondering whether a relationship I am in is real, and whether we’re a match. Can you help me figure this out? John: To simplify it, stay away from being sexually physical. It’s not for moral reasons;

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