Questions About Relationship
“Dearness matters more than anything that you can do together. Dearness is your togetherness.”
Latest YouTube Video on Relationship
Staying in the Bond After a Breakup
February 21, 2021 @ 11:00am
After the pain and loss of a broken relationship, is there anything left of the connection? John speaks of being given to the unseen bond that remains. Over-thinking and analyzing is another way of trying to manage the difficulties of life, but it’s being gentled and quieted in the heart that works.
Latest Podcast on Relationship
John de Ruiter Podcast 583
Finding the Golden Thread Between You and a Difficult Parent
September 22, 2014 @ 7:00pm
This conversation opens up the difficulty of being with an angry father who still triggers your painful past. Is it okay not to see him, or is there another way forward?
Latest Transcript on Relationship
Untangling The Knots In Relationship
December 7, 2022
Q: I often feel attacked by my father. How can I untangle the knot that’s there in relationship with him?
John: Just, sweetly, don’t. Sweetly don’t untangle the knot. When you are so sweetly leaving the whole knot between the two of you alone, you see him and he is seen, despite the knot.
When he’s seen, he is going to either tighten or loosen. That part is his business, not yours. Either way, you just keep sweetly seeing him and you leave the knot alone.
Q: And I don’t have to protect myself?
John: That’s right.
Q: And it’s like that with everyone?
John: Yes.
Q: I can feel that in relation with my daughter, too.
John: Live this way and you’ve returned to your innocence. Live this way before you die.
