Questions About Relationship

“Dearness matters more than anything that you can do together. Dearness is your togetherness.”

Latest YouTube Video on Relationship

Staying in the Bond After a Breakup

February 21, 2021 @ 11:00am

After the pain and loss of a broken relationship, is there anything left of the connection? John speaks of being given to the unseen bond that remains. Over-thinking and analyzing is another way of trying to manage the difficulties of life, but it’s being gentled and quieted in the heart that works.

Latest Podcast on Relationship

John de Ruiter Podcast 531

Known and Seen: The Essence of Real Relationship

February 12, 2010 @ 2:00pm

In this meeting, John shares with a married couple the key to real relationship, and how to be and move together in the richness that lies just beneath their personalities.

Latest Transcript on Relationship

Untangling The Knots In Relationship

December 7, 2022

Q: I often feel attacked by my father. How can I untangle the knot that’s there in relationship with him? John: Just, sweetly, don’t. Sweetly don’t untangle the knot. When you are so sweetly leaving the whole knot between the two of you alone, you see him and he is seen, despite the knot.  When he’s seen, he is...

Q: I often feel attacked by my father. How can I untangle the knot that’s there in relationship with him?

John: Just, sweetly, don’t. Sweetly don’t untangle the knot. When you are so sweetly leaving the whole knot between the two of you alone, you see him and he is seen, despite the knot. 

When he’s seen, he is going to either tighten or loosen. That part is his business, not yours. Either way, you just keep sweetly seeing him and you leave the knot alone.

Q: And I don’t have to protect myself?

John: That’s right.

Q: And it’s like that with everyone?

John: Yes.

Q: I can feel that in relation with my daughter, too.

John: Live this way and you’ve returned to your innocence. Live this way before you die.

Latest VOD on Relationship

Midnight Sky, August 6, 2023, Afternoon

August 6, 2023

“You, at home as nothing, in nothing, with nothing. All that’s left of you is that you’re home.”   Let your heart show; reducing your personality to the real An “un-guy”; you have no idea what kind of guy to be Hooking up a laugh-track; the return of love’s humour Losing all control of your self-image Beingness moves through the personality; you’ll be new No internal dialogue about your self or others...

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VOD Duration: 100 Minutes

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