Q: Hello, hello John. Hi. I’m aware in my life of a higher self or a spirit that appears to be guiding me or controlling me, but it seems to be the very opposite of my personal desires or mundane ego, so there’s always this tension going on. It’s like I’m living two lives in one lifetime. So is that perception I’m having correct, and if so how do I deal with that tension?

John: By sorting out what you are, the one value being greater than the other: the value of the personal being completely subject to the value of what precedes the personal or is higher than the personal. You have the power to surrender to that that you’re knowing, your own knowing of value, and you also have the power to turn the values around. You’re able to make the value of the personal higher than what you know is actually higher than the personal. You’re able to be honest in what you are or you’re able to be dishonest in what you are. The honesty won’t cost you the higher. The honesty costs you the personal. You’ll be letting go of what you want on a personal level to be within what you know on a higher level.

You can let be what you honestly know is, or you can interfere with that. You can make what is higher lower, and you can make what is lower higher, even though you know within that it isn’t so. You’re able to turn what you are into something that you’re not. Whatever you acquire in doing so, you’ll also know then that you have that to lose. As soon as you’re being true, within, when you are most profoundly honest, you know, you’re able to be what you know and you’re able to do what you know.

You’re able to return all of your power to that of real knowledge within, your own real knowing, costing you your use of the personal for the personal, and releasing the use of the personal for the higher. The higher the cost that you’re open to facing, the greater your resources within, and the further that you can go toward being what you first are, and manifesting that through everything else that you next are. Moving in such a direction puts you on a path, the path of self-knowledge, self-realization, the path of acquiring and being and doing real knowledge, all the while greatly increasing your profound proximity to the ultimate, within, and it always still being just within proximity, instead of being it: you being what you first are. Toward that you can take nothing of what you have, nothing from any level that you have. Not taking your person and all it has, not taking your self in who you are, not even taking your own being with all of its beingness.

The absolute return to what you first are is when, as awareness, you respond so, absolutely without anything. All that remains is what you first are, with the availability of the absolutely everything that you’ve let go of through which to express such absolute everything that you first are. The cost for you to be what is the everything within, that which lacks nothing, that which has need of nothing, is everything. It costs you all to be what you know, within, the all is. The everything let go of won’t be gone as you might fear. It all remains, available for meaning to be through, to do through, to be as.

Q: Thank you, John. Thank you.

John: In connecting to direct knowledge within, the promise is that of everything, at first creating such hope, such hope of having what is most worth having and the more that is done to do so in the face of promise, dear promise within, all that is realized is its impossibility, creating at first confusion, a sense of despair because ability isn’t working. It isn’t working to be able to acquire and accomplish what is, within, most worth acquiring and accomplishing. The direct knowledge within isn’t at all that of impossibility; it is known to be absolutely real, and as direct knowledge, available. The experience of impossibility comes from a fundamental misunderstanding: that of using the abilities of your person and your self, using the capacity to do, to obtain something within that has nothing to do with something done.

You can’t use what you are as a person to have or be your self. To be your self is to occupy an interior, requiring the letting go of what you are as a person. You can’t use your person to be your self, yet you can be your self then your person. If you go deeper you can’t use what you are as a self to be what you are as a being.

To be what you are as a being requires most delicate letting go of all that you are as a self, enabling there to be what already is despite what self you have. Changing your self doesn’t give you access to your being. It gives you access as a self to your changed self.

To be the absolute, within, you cannot use anything at all that is subsequent to that, allowing your very identity to return to what it first is: not a person, not a self, not a being, not even the meaning of something but just simply meaning, then meaning being and doing. Meaning absolutely satisfied; being that, doing that within all and through all that it has and is as a self and a person, in life.

You are meaning that has a self. Know you more than yourself so that you can know yourself.