Q: Hi John. You said that the biggest evolution for the awareness is to be one with what you know. But I don’t know what is the line between the craziness and what I know, because in the deepest level there are so many things which are so unusual to this world. If I connect to them these energies are very painful for the body. I don’t understand where is the line between my imagination and reality in all of this stuff. Maybe you can clarify this.

John: Let the beingness in the deeper levels that you’ve awakened to come into your behaviour. It’s the beingness, then, within your behaviour that shifts, without your behaviour becoming strange. If you let the beingness that you’ve awakened to from within your deeper levels directly transfer to your social behaviour, then you might be walking around amongst others like a zombie. Let the beingness of the deeper level move your humanness, and it’s this being-filled humanness that moves your self and your personality. It won’t make your personality more strange; it’ll make your personality much more flexible.

Q: Sometimes I can lay down for a whole day because these energies are too much for the body. What are they? Is it imagination? What are these forces?

John: What’s taking place is you’re fixating on a deeper level of energy and how it affects your body, which focuses that energy on your body. That energy, instead of going straight to your experience physically, it needs to come into your humanness. It needs to enter your heart and open up and move your humanness. It won’t make your humanness strange; it expands your humanness. It brings out the depth of your humanness, way out into your person.

If you fixate on your physical experience, you focus the energy straight into your body, and then you focus on the unusualness of it, which increases it. In that way you’re magnifying the physical experience of it. When that most unusual depth of energy comes into your heart and fills your humanness, it won’t make you strange. It’ll make you unusually really there. It gives you unusual flow, unusual seeing, unusual love. It gives you a depth of nurturing reach into those who you’re with. It brings a most unusual level of balance into your self and into your personality.

Q: Are those forces a manifestation of the being? Sometimes I feel that they are deeper than this being.

John: There are much deeper levels of your being. The deeper the level of your being, the more unusual it is and the less you’re able to relate to any of it from your self. The really deep levels of your being, from the perspective of your self, are alien. The deeper levels of your being are alien to your self, completely foreign, incomprehensible. If you bring that energy straight into your mind, your mind can’t hold it. It will make your mind, in your experience, very strange. It’s too much, directly, for your mind and your nervous system. It needs to come into your heart and your humanness. It’s the openness and the softness of heart that brings the deeper energies of your being, instead of directly into your nervous system and your mind, right into your humanness, which turns it into nurture, nurture that relates to your self and brings your self in, bringing your self into balance instead of it pushing your self even more out of balance.

Q: I also have a question. I always feel like I’m not from this planet, and I myself feel very alien to the environment and to humans, to people, to the earth. And I don’t understand if it’s illusion. Maybe you can clarify this.

John: What you really are beautifully moves through and with the beingness of everything in anyone. What you really are in reality moves as sameness. It moves as love. It isn’t this planet and its beingness that you’re not of and that you don’t belong to; it’s this world; that what you really are, together with all of your being, isn’t of this world, isn’t like this world. Because your experience on this planet is restricted mostly to this world, you equate the rest of the planet with this world, as this world. It’s by your own belief that you separate from the beingness of this planet, just because you know so deeply that you are not the same as what you see in this world.

Q: John, is this world like a prison? Why we are here?

John: This world is largely dehumanized existence in form, which makes it difficult for you to relate from within your heart to this world. When you relate from within your heart you don’t relate to this world, but you are able to find what your humanness directly relates to in the midst of this world.

Whatever you are relating to within, if it’s your dehumanized self, that’s mostly what you’ll see in others. But if it is your heart, your humanness, in anything deeper, you’ll find that everywhere. That it is covered in others won’t matter to you. You see it wherever it is, and there you are relating to it. You can connect to it in someone else without them connecting to the same.

You belong here. You belong here as a being: seeing, thinking, feeling and doing as a being through what self you have. That makes you pure belonging, here. You belong in this world even though so much of it is illusory. Its established structures are illusory, but you belong within all of that structuring. It doesn’t inhibit you as a being. As a being you thrive through your humanness into your self, in person, in the midst of any environment. It doesn’t even need to be a real environment. What’s real is that you are there, thriving from the innermost outwards.

Your environment doesn’t need to change. This world doesn’t need to change. Wherever you are, as a being, moving through your self, in person, you are nurturingly, in unseen ways, connecting into your environment and filling it. And anyone else in that environment, where there’s any little bit of openness and softness of heart, will relate to the energy of your being that is infilling that environment. It touches them. It touches the same in them. Their environment doesn’t really matter, but what is touched in them, they nurturingly realize, matters so much.

Love thrives within illusory forms. Love will fill any form. It’s the love that is real and all of the forms not like your being – all of the forms of this world – are actual. Most of them are not real. Put love within actual forms that are not real, and love will fill those forms. What moves within those forms is then real, even though those forms are still not real, only actual.

Q: Is there is such a thing as a soul program or mission, or something like that?

John: Nothing at all to think about. It’ll only have you searching through your past and your mind for something that is incomprehensible to your mind, but as soon as you begin to come into a little bit of it, you will know. As you come into it, it won’t relate to a self purpose, a personal purpose for you in this world. It’ll relate to a configuration of being, that through your openness starts to come into your humanness, and it forms your self differently. It will reconstruct your self. If that starts to touch into your self and that inspires your self, you’ll easily move into distraction, using the depth of energy that you’re touching into to inspire you to different and varying directions in your life that you’ll make all about your self. Then it might be another 5 years, 10 or 20, before you’re back in the same place of a configuration of being, again freely coming into your self through your humanness, without you making that about your self and running off with it, using that to give purpose to your self and your life – using that to build a project.

You can be involved in projects but hold them ever-so lightly, without you taking them to heart. As you take personal directions in your life and projects to heart, you’ll be in distraction. You won’t be able to read the delicate configurations of your being, how that moves your humanness and how that’s meant to reconstruct your self. You’ll be too busy using that energy as inspiration to make your life, your personal life, interesting. To give depth to your personal life.

The center of your existence needs to be not your personality, not your life, not your self, a little bit your heart, not directly your being, but completely your humanness. As you are, awareness, fully relaxed into all of your humanness, your being is going to move it; it’s going to stream into it. It’s going to open it, feed it, nurture it, expand it, and this being-filed heart and humanness is going to change all of your self. It will reconstruct your self and your life.

If you mix a self purpose into that, you’ll bring in some of your humanness into your dehumanized self and you’ll live the mix. You’ll use your humanness, you’ll exploit your humanness to give satisfaction to your sense of self. You’ll live a split. There will be some nurture and some emptiness, some real meaning and so much lack of meaning, until you begin to really listen within, which is you unconditionally relaxing, opening and softening in your heart which opens you up into your humanness.

When you are in your heart and your humanness there’s nothing there that distracts you or separates you from your being. It’s when you take your sense of self to heart, and its conditioning, that you are living being distracted from your humanness, from your heart, and your being. You’ll live in a frustrating mix. At the end of your life you’ll wonder, what was that all about? What did you miss? When you are at the end of your life, gentled and quieted within on your deathbed, what will matter to you is not what you’ve done with your life, not what you’ve done with your self, but what you have done with your heart; how you were taken by your humanness and how that moved your self. Nothing else deeply makes sense of your life.

Q: How to move the self from the heart? Because I feel the split you’re saying, like nurture and absence of meaning.

John: If you do anything to take your self out of your heart that brings more of your self into your heart. It’ll increase your self-importance. You can’t take your self out of your heart, but you can let your heart be given to anything deeper than your self. It’s that givenness that enables your humanness to displace your self, to replace your self in your heart. And with that, your being comes in and fills your heart. Everywhere it fills, your self will no longer be. And it is then that being-filled heart, that if freed by you, will come into all of your self and fill your self. It’s you existing from the innermost outwards. You existing in balance.