Your heart is apprehended. Then comes decision and the necessary consequent change of your self and your person, of your life. When you know that your heart is apprehended by real knowledge, and the beingness of that real knowledge is filling and moving your heart and that knowledge and its beingness in your heart isn’t free to move into the space of decision, then what enters your heart, fills your heart and holds your heart will slowly be undone by you. It will slowly be reversed by you in your self. It’ll be reversed by your relating to old decisions. All of the decisions in the past that have served to give structure to your self will undo your heart.
When real knowledge and its beingness comes into your heart because of your being the same, in your listening and receiving your own innermost it is all different than what your self is like. Until now your self…you, as awareness, within your self…holds the space of decision. The space of decision is held by what has always been holding it: you in your self. So then each time that your heart is filled with what is lovelier and more wondrous than that, its time is short-lived because it isn’t given the space of decision that you in your self are holding.
In your self you realize the implications when real knowledge and its beingness fills your heart and apprehends your heart. All of the implications are contrary to what you are occupying as a self, so you’ll have all of the reasons already in place from which to argue with what you’re knowing. Real knowledge and its beingness, the deepest you, isn’t going to use any force. If you’re arguing with it and presenting reasons, you are using force.
All that there is to do for you in your self is for you to surrender the power of the space of decisions, surrendering that to you in your heart. That enables you in your heart, moving by real knowledge and its beingness, to have the space of decision. When that level of you has the space of decision, then that level of you is free to have form as awareness. When that level of you is free to have form as awareness within the space of decision, all of the decisions that you’ve made in the past that are not congruent with your own real knowledge and its beingness will be shaken, will be undone. You’ll be making decisions replacing the level of decision that you’ve been used to.
Your self will be restructured, and when your self undergoes restructuring by real knowledge and its beingness the ground is sure. The ground is then more certain than your self. You are then well underway for your person and your life to be restructured. In that, you’ll be facing everything that you have feared, everything that you have avoided. All of the reasons that have been held in your self that protect avoidance, you’ll be seeing right through them. You’ll be clearer than all of those reasons. The reasons that you’ve held will no longer have ground.
As you give what is apprehended in your heart the space of decision, you will be understandably in your self, in your person, and in your life, adorably scared…scared because of the insecurity in your self and in your person that you really feel in your life…but not fearful. Being scared is symptomatic of the state and development of your self. Being fearful is symptomatic of your believing something and taking something to heart that you don’t know the truth of, so when you feel scared in your self and all wobbly, don’t be intimidated by that.
With certainty, move what has apprehended your heart of real knowledge and its beingness into the space of decision, and then in your self, in your person, in your life live by those decisions regardless of how they feel. It won’t feel good. It will put you outside of the comfort zone in your self. That’s what then has you feeling scared, feeling timid.
When your steps are certain, despite how you’re feeling in your self, what is shakable in your self will come apart and the certainty of your real knowledge and its beingness will rebuild. It won’t rebuild by what you have built. The rebuilding will be new.
In moving past your self from within what has apprehended your heart, you’ll be going against your self. The voices in your self will be contrary to what you are knowing and being in your heart. Every pattern that you’ve put in place that rescues you from being apprehended in your heart by real knowledge, every one of those patterns in how you have put them together will work. Its momentum will continue. Its voice will continue.
Your self in that way is like a machine that you have built and put together. When your orientation shifts and your heart is all about what is much deeper, within, than the machine, the machine keeps running. It will keep doing what you have built it to do. Don’t let the machine determine your day any more. Don’t let it have the space of decision. Don’t let it determine your future. What you know the truth of in your heart and the beingness of that needs to have your day. It needs to have your future.
Of what there is for you in your heart, there isn’t anything for you in your self. For you in your self this is only really not good.
The surrender is of you as awareness in your self to you in your heart. That enables you in your heart to be what will now be aware in your self, occupying at first the space of decision.
With different awareness having the space of decision, you will be instituting change. It will all be real, and you’ll be making it all happen. You can be scared but not fearful. If you are scared, your self is affected. You are scared in your self, which is understandable and all right. If you are fearful, then it isn’t just in your self. If you are fearful, then it has your heart. Nothing can have your heart except for real knowledge and its beingness.
Concerning bringing this into the space of decision, at any point stumble forwards rather than falling back.
597 – The Person, the Self and the Being: Identifying the Many Levels of You (Part 1)
Person, self, being … what’s the difference and what is real? Using different analogies, John explains how our different levels connect and shares the code to being what we really are.
596 – Beyond Sadness and Pain: Happy Without a Reason
John reveals the source of the deep well of sadness and pain this person carries, and shares how she can reconnect with her original happiness.
595 – When a Crumb of Truth in Your Heart is Your Home
John responds to a spiritual dilemma: a desperate longing for realization, coupled with the fear of nothingness that seems to come with it.
594 – Fully Present in Your Body, Fully Present in Your Heart
Closing down to the experience of vulnerability can mean dissociating from the body. John shares a simple way to become more present however uncomfortable we feel.
593 – Honest to the Way of Your Heart
An exploration of how honesty and an open, soft heart are connected, taking us ever deeper into the unseen roots we could remain in forever.
592 – Beyond Self-Acceptance: The Way of Deep, Inner Healing
An experience of misplaced anger has raised the question of what real healing is. John takes us beyond simple self-acceptance, deep into the source of the finest healing of all.
“My sole purpose is to be, in life, what we are after we’ve died. Through openness and softness of heart and core-splitting honesty at any personal cost, I live as that while actualizing the same in others I meet. I am available as a resource for anyone who recognizes and values this way of being.”
– John de Ruiter
