Q: I don’t see where personal love from one person to another fits in with this love which is. Are they related or is personal love between two people something that’s more based on the physical and mental wants and needs, or even just desires? Because to be the truth that I know and to be involved in a relationship, it seems like they exclude each other. It’s a sticking point for me because it feels like I would have to give one up, and I don’t feel ready to give up the idea of a relationship for truth itself.

John: It’s giving up everything for truth itself. That is you returning to the absolute and in then being that, letting that express itself through everything including the personality. To be what love is outside of the personality feels safer than being what love is through the personality. It is when it moves through the personality; that is where all the Velcro shows up. Anything that you’re not actually free of when love moves through the personality, then you get stuck and as soon as you get stuck, the love seems to be gone. So then you fear being in the personality because within it you seem to keep losing your first love. And it is not that you lose it, it’s that within the personality you get bought.

The fineness of love is when it moves through the personality without getting hooked. That is where awareness becomes very fine in knowing what it is and in knowing how to move as love, through sensation, without being distracted by sensation.

Q: In this way, this love moves through me and doesn’t get stuck by my idea of what I am and what needs to be done but what the love needs to express through me. Something like this?

John: When your body opens up because your mind is opening up, because you are opening up, then when you touch someone what moves through your body is a fullness of love, and the sensation of it is entirely complete, and the sensation of it is connected all the way through to your innermost so that one touch is like the experience of being, fully in form, connecting with another through even just a touch. Connecting with another, through form, all the way through into their innermost.

The experience of that is so full, so complete, that if there’s anything in you at all that relates to want, at that point you’ll cease being what you know. You’ll walk out of what you know and you’ll try to do it again just because you liked it. But if you’re remaining true in being what you know, then such an experience is no distraction. It is then everything that it is without you needing to have it just once more. That is being in the midst of full experience but not being of it; you not turning into that experience and confusing that experience for what you know is true. Can you have such an experience without needing to repeat it?

Q: I don’t know.

John: That is what you’re in a body for. Then you’re always being new.

Q: I could say that one time in the past I had an experience of the fullness of my being, and when it was no longer my living experience I was desperate to gain it back again. I think I added more mental stuff than I had before until I got to the point where I saw that it wasn’t my doing to begin with, so I don’t know what happens if it starts to live fully again.

John: It is one thing to be what love is without you having a relationship. It’s another thing to be that in a relationship.

Q: It’s kind of what I meant with my question because I feel like I can use being as an escape and not deal with issues and relationship or anything in the outside world. This life in this body needs to be lived, and just to hang out in being and say I don’t care about anything else is not true. I’m going to have to deal with my wants and my desires and her wants and her desires and when they contradict each other there will be all kinds of trouble like that. The Velcro is going to come up right? But what I’m really trying to ask is, is there something to relationship other than having wants and needs met and satisfied?

John: Is not about that at all.

Q: Okay, good. (laughter)

John: When you’re in a relationship and you’re being what you know, the experiential playground is much greater – not the playground for doing but the playground for being. Being in it all regardless of its experience, without you being lost in the experience and identifying with it; you fully being in it without being distracted from what you actually know.

The opportunity to awaken is much greater in a relationship but the opportunity to shut down and close and harden is also much greater in a relationship. A relationship intensifies everything. Everything happens faster. There is much more pulling on your patterns and there’s much more pulling on what you know, with every pull being so much stronger because of being in a relationship. In the midst of that, you be what you know, instead of you being all of the other pulls.

Once you get past dealing with wants and needs so that they are no longer any issue, then there are many rooms in this mansion of relationship where the awareness of the two can be one within the awareness of the one or the other. It is want and need that keeps the two experientially separate. It is when wants and needs are no longer of any issue that the two can be experientially one. As soon as there’s something there within that would take, even to just repeat something because it was so awesome, then that takes of the one and it experientially makes of you two. Then you’re back to dealing with wants and needs instead of moving as one.

In a relationship that is free of itself, then the one awareness can travel through the awareness of the other. Then the awareness of the one can discover itself in the awareness of the other. It is heart and mind and body expanding without a hook. The difference would be likened to existing on this earth plane or you no longer being confined to the earth plane and being able to travel elsewhere, be elsewhere, live elsewhere. That is what a relationship does.

A relationship isn’t at all about wants and needs. It’s about truth fulfilling itself in love, not just within one but within two.