590 – Can I Return to My Awakening Experience?
One profound experience of a different level of consciousness had a profound impact on this person. How did it happen and can it be experienced again?
Q: Hi, John. I suffer from bouts of depression quite a bit, and although I can go underneath it and experience the peace and quiet while on the surface the depression is raging, I was wondering why these depressions occur and if there is a true way to be with it or in it.
John: Your depression is a threshold in your self. It’s the un-dealt-with part of you that comes together when things are not coming together for your self. While a depression is difficult to deal with, it does also offer you the immediate of the deep. A depression takes you deeply into your self, and its patterns hold you there. In moving past your self at such a threshold you’ll be going from the deep in your self to the deep that’s beneath your self.
In the midst of a depression, realize a subtlety of newness, a living knowledge within that you know the truth of and that you are, as awareness, connected to. In the midst of the depression, draw near to that subtlety, realizing its depths and its goodness. In shifting the attention of your heart to that, you’ll be going against your self. Everything in your self won’t feel like what it is that you’re responding to in your heart. In remaining with that subtlety of newness, giving it your heart’s attention, you’ll be dealing with those things in your self that were, before, un-dealt-with … those things in your self that enable the depression in the first place, the getting caught in your self, being persuaded by negative sentiment, taking to heart thoughts and feelings in your self that are of a lower level, even though even as it begins there are subtleties within that you know the truth of, that are not of a lower level.
In the midst of a depression notice the little, within – the tiny little bits within of living knowledge, the tiny little bits within of nurture – and be toward the subtleties that you’re realizing…be toward them in the same way that they are. Such tiny little bits within show you exactly how to be in the midst of a depression. They show you exactly what to relate to and how to relate. The exact beingness is in it. Notice them and then throughout your self be in deep, straight heart-agreement with them, staying close to the little in the midst of the big. That has you moving past your self when you most don’t have any will or feeling to do so.
It’s within such difficulties that as awareness you can find some of the deepest deposits, deposits of real knowledge. Instead of seeing a depression as something for you to get through and survive, something to get past and get rid of, view it as your real and deep opportunity to evolve as awareness. That removes the focus of your attention away from difficulty in your self to the goodness that you know, within.
In depression, you’re given as awareness to believe in your self instead of believing that within, that’s lovelier than your self. In the midst of a depression you can see what you’re given to believe and, in the midst of that, identify the tiny little bit within that you know to believe. It doesn’t offer what you would like. What it offers doesn’t appeal to your self, but what it offers, you know within is real and is good. Believe that within instead of believing your self.
In directing your own heart to what you know, however little bit that is, you’re directing you within your self to a deeper you that’s deeper than where your self is. It is a level within that to your accustomed self offers so little, but a level within that in your awareness you know is everything. It’s a level that appeals to what you know instead of a level that appeals to your accustomed self. Your higher evolution is completely dependent on your being that, within, that’s deeper than your self.
Being in a depression offers you an obvious threshold, a threshold that isn’t based on subtlety, that you’re able to be a subtlety in moving past it. Instead of dealing with your self in moving past your self, you’ll be dealing with what you know that has you being knowing in the midst of a difficult self. You’re able to be patterned after knowing, instead of succumbing to being patterned after what self you have.
590 – Can I Return to My Awakening Experience?
One profound experience of a different level of consciousness had a profound impact on this person. How did it happen and can it be experienced again?
589 – Starting Over: Living Your Awakening Before You Die
After many years on a spiritual path, this person is no longer interested in more teachings. Can there really be nothing to do? John describes what stands in the way of living our awakening, and the value of doing that before we die.
588 – The Realization of a Rare Destiny
The longing to be free of any level of the self is at the heart of this conversation. What changes our destiny and gives entrance to what we really are?
587 – The Space of Decision
“Stumble forwards rather than falling back.” Do you move by new knowledge or old decisions? John addresses what happens in the space of decision.
586 – What is Free Will?
“There is free will after death, never before.” John explains this rather startling statement and reveals why only love has such freedom.
585 – Beyond Your Understood Powers: Your Real Life, Within
“Who am I?” In this dialogue, John is responding to a person who really wants his spiritual search to be over but doesn’t know how that can happen.
“My sole purpose is to be, in life, what we are after we’ve died. Through openness and softness of heart and core-splitting honesty at any personal cost, I live as that while actualizing the same in others I meet. I am available as a resource for anyone who recognizes and values this way of being.”
– John de Ruiter
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