Q: I had a dream the night before you came to Copenhagen where I was asked if I was ready to leave this matrix. I answered ‘yes’, and I was very calm. There was no fear in me, but there is, of course, at some levels, fear of what will become of me.
John: What will become of your self – while you are so deeply okay, streaming and moving as a being. The uncertainty is only in your self; uncertainty doesn’t go deeper than your self.
Q: I feel there’s such an unworthiness of approaching you, talking to you. There’s a feeling I should be able to figure this out on my own, that I’m immature, that if I wait a little bit longer I will know and my self will feel safe.
John: Your self isn’t made to figure this out. If you use your self to figure this out, you’re just bearing down on your self to produce something that it’s incapable of.
Q: There’s something that’s afraid of dying. That’s my self.
John: This doesn’t threaten your self. Your self is made for this. What this threatens is your relationship with your self: you using your self for what it isn’t made. Your relationship to your self defines you as its dependant. When you’re being what you really are in the midst of whatever kind of self you have, the beingness of that and the movement of that define your self as your dependant; a complete change of relationship. The old relationship to your self dies, while your self changes. It changes because what you really are lives in it.
You need to get out of the stream of your life, the stream of how you have put your life together. You’ve put your whole life together based on you being a dependant of your self. For you to live being what you really are, you must get out of the river. As long as you stay in the river, you’ll be looking at what you know and it keeps going by, because you’re moving down the river, a river that you’ve created. It isn’t a river, a movement, a mobility that’s true to what you know. It’s only true to your conditioned thinking and feeling. You’ve already awakened, so that is a lot more than just knowing and knowing the truth. You’ve been reinstated in it but you haven’t been planted in it.
It’s like being given a place to sit, a place of knowing and being, and as soon as you sit in this place, you are absolutely completed. And then, as the river of your life in how you’ve put your life together calls you, you get up from where you’re sitting and you get back into the river to take care of how you’ve put that river together, and you abandon what’s real.
You need to get out of the river and in being what you really are unconditionally, you’re letting your roots go into your being, and like a tree you are surrendering to being planted there. This is your life. The river of your life – in how you’ve lived, how you’ve related to your self, how you’ve related to this world – you’re no longer in.
As you remain being what you really are, you’re removed from the river of your life. Be removed. As you remain in that, what you are deeply being, within, becomes your perspective as a person, which changes your whole relationship to being in this world. It’s real to you that you are in this world but your source of life, your source of being, has nothing to do with this world. You’re not using your self and this world as a source anymore, not a source for you. You’re planted in your source and your roots stay there.
As your perspective changes in your person, you have a whole different seeing. That’s what takes you out of the matrix. You’re of a different source than this world. You’re of a different seeing than this world. It is a source and a seeing that is true only to what you know.
What has been important to you in your self – paths of importance in your self and paths of importance in this world – has become your river. As you are planted in your being, all of these paths are important, not because of what has moved in them; that’s not important. Any pathway that you’ve created belongs to your being. It doesn’t matter what has moved in that pathway. It doesn’t matter what you’ve used it for. Given to your being, your being fills it and moves through it.
That movement through your old pathways of something new is what transforms your nervous system. It opens your brain. That changes your sense and your experience of reality. Instead of your sense of reality being conditioned by the patterning in your self and the seeing that’s based on your self, your sense of reality comes from you being it. Experience returned to your being is filled by your being.
Q: So this stream that I’m in is used up. There’s nothing more for me to learn there now. My roots need to go somewhere else.
John: For you to determine what that is, be deeply listening to what you know in your heart. Whatever that is, be and do. If you consult your self, you empower your self, and it will be your self that you’ll then listen to. There is no getting out of the river of your life without you, awareness, being in response to what you know, with that having form in your self and in your life. It’s all change that you love because it’s all change that reflects your being.
Begin with the deepest that you’ve awakened to. Begin with that by returning to it, sweetly surrendering to being it, and from there make your life choices. As scary as that may seem in your self, it’s all really good.