Q: I would like you to help me understanding what I put out to people. They describe me as very prickly. The most important thing in my life has been knowing who I am and being the truth, but it doesn’t appear to help me in my everyday life when I’m dealing with people who are not on the same path. I feel very lonely. I feel beaten and tired when I’m around these people and trying to see them, who they truly are. I just want to go into my later years feeling like the people around me, not put off by who I am and what I am.

John: You awaken to greater knowing and you bring that into your self because it is your self that you’re accustomed to. When you bring what you know directly into your self, you will be off-putting to others. You will be a split in your self to others. In your self you will see more but not be more. That makes your self inflexible and hard. When you bring the more that you come to know because of awakening straight into your self, you increase the importance of your self. That makes you righteous in your self, which is prickly to others.

Instead of bringing what you know into your self, into your experience, into the level that you’re most accustomed to, instead of you bringing the truth in you up into your self, you, as awareness, drop down into your heart where your knowing is. Your knowing of the truth isn’t in your self; it’s in your heart. You can’t be what you know in your self without you first completely being what you know in your heart. That takes the importance that you have given to your self and gives it to what you know in your heart. That puts you as awareness back into your heart. It makes very little of your views, your views of the truth, and it makes much of what you know of the truth because you’re responding to it in your heart. The less of a truth-person you are, the less prickly you’ll be. You belong to where you know the truth, and that’s in your heart.

Q: I know I come from there. Why have I moved away? Why does feel it so hard to get back there and come from there?

John: It will have nothing to do with your self. Any investment that you have in your self is going to make it not possible for you as awareness to be one with what you know. When you have any kind of investment in your self, you’ll use what you know the truth of to add to that investment. You’ll use it to give added meaning to that investment.

When it is real to you that you belong to what you know in your heart, that puts you into your heart. It makes your own beingness real, because you’re responding to it. Your opinions won’t matter to you anymore. The more that you know, the less safe you are for others. The more that you belong to what you know in your heart, the safer that you’ll be for others.

Awakening doesn’t make you more like your own being. Awakening makes you know more and see more. That doesn’t mean that you’re being what you know. That doesn’t mean that you’re coming from what you know the truth of. When you are responding to what you know within awakening, you become just like your own being. If that becoming isn’t there, you’re deluding your self.

When you bring your awakening into your self, that will make your mind sharp and your heart dull.