590 – Can I Return to My Awakening Experience?
One profound experience of a different level of consciousness had a profound impact on this person. How did it happen and can it be experienced again?
Q: I want to ask you about conscious and unconsciousness, how they become one.
John: When you are in realization then what you really are is conscious. When you’re not in realization, awareness is conscious but awareness will be conscious in what it’s experiencing. When you are conscious as awareness of what you are experiencing, your own experience is your platform of existence. It’s your basis of reality. When you are in realization, your basis of being in reality isn’t based on what you’re experiencing. It isn’t based on what you are thinking and feeling in your self. Your basis of reality isn’t your self. When you are in realization, what you are, what you first are, is conscious.
When you’re in realization, when you are realizing what you know in your heart, you are knowing meaning directly in reality; not meaning as you understand it in your thinking and your feeling, not meaning as you perceive meaning in your self. In your self you register the meaning of something. When you have realization, you are directly realizing meaning – not the meaning of something but meaning being you. When you realize meaning in your heart, it isn’t a conceptual realization. It’s heart-realization. When you realize meaning in your heart, you are directly, as meaning, knowing meaning. The fulfillment of what you really are is immediate. It doesn’t come from anything that you experience in your self.
When you move as realization beginning with what you realize in your heart and you move as that realization, you are as awareness moving, being one with what you know. Awareness and knowing move together. Realization is awareness and knowing coming together. It comes together in your heart. The beginning of oneness is in your heart.
When you are in the experience of your self, you’re not realizing meaning. You have a particular understanding of meaning, meaning that you understand through your experience and through what you are thinking and feeling, what you are thinking and feeling in your self. Through experience, you realize the meaning of something, a positive meaning or a negative meaning. The positive meaning, when you’re relating directly to your self, puts you in attraction. You are attracted to that meaning because it gives you an experience on the level of your self that’s favourable. It promises the meaning of something and you want to re-experience that, so you’re attracted to that. When you experience in your self a negative meaning, you’ll naturally have an aversion to that. When you live in your self in aversion to a particular kind of experience, a certain kind of thinking and feeling, or if you live in attraction to a particular kind of thinking and feeling, you are in pursuit or in the escape of meaning. When you’re pursuing or escaping meaning, you’re not in realization.
When you’re in realization, you are meaning realizing meaning. It doesn’t come from outside of you, so it produces a settledness. When you are settled within realization, immediately there’s nurture. Nurture isn’t a positive or a negative. When you’re being nurtured on a profound level, it’s because you are being the same as what you really are. That brings you into a much deeper level of satisfaction. You’re satisfied by what you’re being instead of by what you’re experiencing.
When you move as the satisfaction of being, you move as oneness. When you move as the satisfaction of what you’re experiencing, you’ll be in pursuit of meaning, separating you from what meaning is. When you look for meaning, when you’re escaping a negative meaning or attracted to a positive meaning, you’re not being meaning. When you’re not being meaning, there isn’t the nurture of you being what you really are.
Oneness is nurtured by what it already is; its own beingness is its nurture. It has need of nothing. It’s already complete. It’s completed by its own beingness. You can be completed by your own beingness when you are within realization. Realization in the heart involves you realizing a beingness that is a perfect match to what’s deeper in you. That’s why it nurtures you.
A positive experience, a positive thinking and feeling, satisfies your experience of your self. It gives you a favourable experience, but that favourable experience, being devoid of realization, isn’t going to satisfy what’s deeper in you. It doesn’t satisfy what you really are.
There isn’t anything that’s wrong with experience. There isn’t anything wrong with thinking and feeling. There isn’t anything wrong with your self, but the real value of your self isn’t in how you experience your self. The real value of your self comes from you being in realization in the midst of your thinking and your feeling, in the midst of what you’re experiencing. Then you realize what you really are in the midst of an experience. That gives you a frame of reference within your experience that doesn’t come from what you’re experiencing; it comes from what you really are.
Realization has to do with beingness. Experience has to do with how you experience your self. It’s an outward level of form. That outward level of form isn’t satisfied in a profound way in its own experience. It’s satisfied in a profound way when you are being what is deeper, within, than what your self is, than what your experience is.
When realization in your heart is what informs you of what is real and true in the midst of what you experience in your self and as a self, then you have a nurtureful frame of reference for your experience. That opens and settles what you are experiencing. It gives you a different context for what you are experiencing than the context of your experience. That frees you from pursuing what you’re experiencing or looking to escape from what you’re experiencing.
When you’re being realization in the midst of an experience, you are opening and softening in that experience. It’s the beingness of that openness and that softness that profoundly satisfies you, that nurtures you.
Q: Thank you.
590 – Can I Return to My Awakening Experience?
One profound experience of a different level of consciousness had a profound impact on this person. How did it happen and can it be experienced again?
589 – Starting Over: Living Your Awakening Before You Die
After many years on a spiritual path, this person is no longer interested in more teachings. Can there really be nothing to do? John describes what stands in the way of living our awakening, and the value of doing that before we die.
588 – The Realization of a Rare Destiny
The longing to be free of any level of the self is at the heart of this conversation. What changes our destiny and gives entrance to what we really are?
587 – The Space of Decision
“Stumble forwards rather than falling back.” Do you move by new knowledge or old decisions? John addresses what happens in the space of decision.
586 – What is Free Will?
“There is free will after death, never before.” John explains this rather startling statement and reveals why only love has such freedom.
585 – Beyond Your Understood Powers: Your Real Life, Within
“Who am I?” In this dialogue, John is responding to a person who really wants his spiritual search to be over but doesn’t know how that can happen.
“My sole purpose is to be, in life, what we are after we’ve died. Through openness and softness of heart and core-splitting honesty at any personal cost, I live as that while actualizing the same in others I meet. I am available as a resource for anyone who recognizes and values this way of being.”
– John de Ruiter
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